


Paradis Perdus

by RedCatRen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Chapter six is basically just porn, Eloping, Emotional Constipation, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Exegol (Star Wars), F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Fluffy Ending, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Love Confessions, Mentioned Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious, Mild Sexual Content, Millennium Falcon - Freeform, Miscommunication, Mission Fic, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Road Trips, Secret Relationship, Sexual Tension, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Trailer, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:34:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 47,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25026256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedCatRen/pseuds/RedCatRen
Summary: In the midst of the Galactic War, Rey and Kylo Ren have agreed a tentative truce to help fight the rising threat building in the Outer Rim.However, things become complicated between the reluctant allies when Kylo accidentally discovers Finn has declared his love for Rey just prior to the mission.With jealousies stoked and feelings muddled, how will they stay united enough to fight the rising dark?(COMPLETED)Rated M for final chapter(Set post- The Last Jedi with non canon AU TROS elements.)Title inspired by the song Paradis Perdus by Christine and the QueensMinor Finn/Rey and Minor Finn/Rose Tico
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 79
Kudos: 187





	1. Confessionals

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers,
> 
> Welcome to my new short (or short by my standards) fic.  
> I started writing this a month or two before TROS was released and it was prompted by a rumour I'd read about Finn confessing something to Rey.
> 
> Of course as it turns out, thankfully, it wasn't his undying love!
> 
> I sort of shelved the fic after TROS as I was in mourning and Dusk till Dawn took my attentions! It will be a TROS AU and focus mainly on REYLO.
> 
> This fic is full of angst as per usual, but will have a hopeful end.
> 
> Let me know if you like it, I have 2 more chapters ready to go depending on the response and can upload this week.
> 
> I'm aiming for 5 chapters in total and maybe an epilogue.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts.
> 
> Best,  
> RedCatRen

The early morning sun had already begun to rise high into the dusty,heavy sky, when Finn finally found the courage to enter the hangar. 

There had been violent sand storm the day before, causing the usually sapphire blue sky of Ma'Tru to glow an unnatural red as the sun fought it's way through the lingering fine grains of the restless night. 

That eerie, opaque light that surrounds the base in those early hours, does nothing to break the growing tension within the expectant Resistance.  
Time slips by too fast, trickling like the persisting remnants of the storm as many pilots and ground forces get ready for each vital mission they undertake, knowing each step could turn the tide in this endless war of survival. 

At that moment, Finn could not focus on his own preparations. His thoughts taken up by the young woman that stood at the far end of the hangar. Now painful conscious in these last moments of peace, he has been avoiding this inevitable collision course between them for far too long. 

His own crippling fears and steadfast loyalty to Rose, had prompted him to remain silent about it. These pesky latent feelings for her, even though it often felt at time it was a plain as the nose on his face. How could it not be painfully obvious where his heart truly lay? 

But still, Finn had stayed silent. Bound by some misplaced sense of duty to Rose, to an imitation of a relationship that was nothing more than a deep friendship at its core.  
Rose knew it too, underneath it all. She knew. 

It was blatant they loved each other, but, they were not in love with each other.  
Hell, there were time lately she had seemed more interested in flirting with Kaydel Connix than spending time with him ! 

Though it had remained an unspoken thing, they both knew this love between them wasn't built to last the tests of time.

Not in the ways that really mattered. 

Great friends always, but nothing more than placeholders for some other great romance their hearts waited for. 

Still, a twinge of guilt pulls within him as he walked towards Rey. 

For he knows his actions would still hurt Rose. 

Finn had never told her the full truth of his feelings. But the right words never seemed to have come to him when it matter most. 

And now, it was too late to change. This was his last chance. 

Finn's heart thrummed harder in his chest the closer he got to Rey. 

That old, familiar freighter she stood beneath a beacon of frustrated anticipation. 

The cold metal shell, an eternal symbol of missed opportunities for him over the last twelve moon cycles. How many times had the damn thing decided to break down just as he had plucked up the courage to vaguely suggest his feelings.

That would end now. 

If it was all going to end today, if there was a chance he may not make it back, he had to clear headed. 

One way or another this pining had to stop. 

He thought about his mission for a moment, at the reality that his luck could run out this time, like it had for some many others. 

Would it make him less willing to face his fate if the plan did not succeed? 

Would it make him fight harder to know she waited for him on the other side? 

He had to know. 

Rising fully to her feet, Rey’s smile widened as she walked towards her friend, willfully ignoring the growing apprehension in regard to her own mission. 

For the terrifying foe that awaited once she left the base. 

“Shouldn’t you be helping Jannah with final preparations right now?” Rey teased as she adjusted her blaster at her hip. The weight of the weapon resting snugly against the flesh of her side, mirroring the position of the sabre on the other. 

The drag of the weapons upon the cotton, pulled the usually loose material of her tunic taut across her firm, toned body. Accentuating every rise and fall of her chest as she spoke and making Finns eyes drift down infinitesimally. The stretch of the cloth across the gentle curve of her breast, distracting him more than he cared to admit. 

Rey's smile fell a little, her eyes flashing in confusion at Finn's lack of response and sudden dark glint in his eyes. 

Finn looked momentarily flustered as he noticed her probing gaze, before he schooled his features back into a smirk of his own. 

“I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’m kind of a big deal around here.” He replied with a comic arch of his dark eyebrow, feigning nonchalance as best as he could. Rey's face relaxed again at his playful quip. 

“Oh really?” she answered with a smirk, her hand reaching out to touch Finn’s arm with a harmless squeeze. 

Finn grinned, placing his hand over hers and squeezing gently in response. 

“Yep.....and as the resident big deal on this base, it comes with certain privileges “ 

Leaning in closer, he gave Rey a solemn pout as he fought the urge to smile and break from their moment of levity. 

“Just don’t tell Jannah...” 

Your secret is safe with me" Rey winked back, chuckling as she released him and pulled her hand away from his. Her attention flitting to the chronometer on the far wall, a small frown gracing her brow as she noted the time. 

Finn tried to hide his disappointment at the loss of her touch, instead following her gaze to chronometer. 

“Not long now" he sighed unhappily, once more conscious he had but a few minutes left with Rey before she left for the far side of the galaxy. 

Setting out on a journey so remote and fraught with dangerous he had resolutely been refused the chance to accompany her. There were very few places in this great big universe he was not allowed to follow her to, and this was one of them.

Trying and failing time and time again, over the last week to convince her otherwise. But Rey had refused every attempt, unmoving and unwilling to reconsider despite his protests. 

The mission required a certain level of discretion, a mission so secretive Rey was not permitted to share any of their plans even with those closest to her. 

Leia had been key in keeping the clandestine operation under wraps, the objective so classified, even Poe had not been made privy to a single shred of vital information. 

So, Finn had remained in the dark, his worries all the stronger now she was heading into the unknown. 

Without the cavalry and without him to watch her back. 

For her own part, Rey seemed glad of this. 

The undisclosed contact at the first rendezvous point had made it expressly clear she travel without an armed escort, allowing concessions ONLY for the ever-willing and ever persistent paternal presence of Chewbacca. 

He was the only reason Finn had not forced his way onto the Millennium Falcon and refused to let her leave without him. 

Finn did not want her facing whatever this was alone on the other side. 

“Yeah, not long” Rey said softly, her eyes dropping from chronometer to the hard shine of polished concrete floor. Unable to look at Finn for a moment. 

Knowing it could be the last time she would see him. Mourning this loss as if death itself had caught them both in its net already. 

“Are you ready?” Finn asked solemnly. Rey’s jaw twitched as she slowly raised her eyes to meet his again. 

“I have to be” she whispered back sadly. Finn’s open face twisted in sympathy and worry, stepping in closer and opening up his arms. Rey took the invitation willingly, pulling his broad, warm chest against hers as she breathed deeply. Taking in the comforting scent of his body wash and the fresh scent of the newly laundered uniform. 

His strong is frame suited and booted in the regulation combat suit, Resistance officer insignia worn proudly on each shoulder.To Rey, he looked primed and to pilot himself and his surrogate sister, Jannah, out to fight as planned.

Finn had his own mission to embark on too in the Outer Rim that morning. So very far away from her.

“Are you ready?” Rey murmured uneasily again his shoulder as she hugged him closer. 

“No...” Finn chuckled bitterly, tightening his arms around Rey’s shoulders “But don’t tell Jannah that...or Rose for that matter.” 

“Your secret's safe with me” Rey laughed despite the misery in her heart, bitter tears pricking at her eyes. 

“I know” Finn chuckled again. 

Behind him a low buzz blared out suddenly in the hangar, the large chronometer striking the eighth hour of the day cycle. Rousing those around them into more frantic movements. 

“That’s my signal go” Rey sighed reluctantly, slowly releasing Finn from her arms and slipping back towards the waiting freighter. Wiping at her eyes, she sighed deeply.  
The distant gargle of Chewbacca’s anxious call from the Falcon further breaks the spell they had been under.  
Finn nods as he grudgingly let go of her. A pain looked upon his dark face. 

“Please, whatever you are doing out there with Chewie, please.....just stay safe” he ground out after a moment. Unable to hide his dread now they stood at the impending end of everything they both knew. 

Reaching forward she took his hands in hers, a sad smile forming on her tear stained cheeks. 

“I will, promise me you will too” 

Squeezing her hands as he smiled earnestly. 

“Of course” 

Rey’s sad smile twitched into a warmer expression as she ran her thumbs over his hands. 

“Good...but you better come back in one piece.......Rose will be livid if you don’t!” 

Finn opened his mouth to retort but instead was interrupted by a guttural growl of impatient indignation from Chewbacca. Urging Rey to hurry up. 

“I better go” Rey said unhappily, turning without another word to make her way up the ramp to the Millennium Falcon. Unable to look at Finn any longer without wanting to cry. 

Finn had followed after her before he even knew what he was doing. 

She was halfway up the ramp when he suddenly pulled her back, stopping her in her tracks as his fingers closed over her wrist. 

“Rey...” Finn began uncomfortably, looking up at her somberly. His dark eyes panicked and filled with such desperation, it made her heart break a little. 

“Be safe Finn” Rey finished gravely, misreading his action as anything but concern for her safety. Leaning down to press a chaste, tender kiss to his forehead, she was completely taken by surprise as Finn moved and pressed his mouth up against hers. 

His lips were soft and warm as he kissed her gently, never pushing for more as he waited for her to respond. 

Rey didn’t know what to do at first, utterly blindsided by Finn’s sudden display of love for her. 

There had always been a part of her that had suspected Finn’s feelings for her had grown beyonf their initial platonic admiration for one another. Believing his love for Rose had superseded this silly little infatuation he held for her. 

Rey was never so sorry she had been wrong. 

Now feeling the love he had for her as it cascaded from his thoughts, she despaired at how she could've been so stupid! 

Had she led him on unintentionally or convinced him her feelings had changed towards him? 

Had she demanded his time and affection too many times? 

Or been too willing to accept his gentle embrace, on those cold, bleak nights filled with the dull pain of loneliness and desolation? 

Too naïve not to take it as a symbol of his brotherly affection for her. 

How could she be so blind? 

How would she face Rose after this? 

Despite her panic Rey found his kiss was not unpleasant. Far from it. 

She noted again the softness of his mouth as it moved against hers, trying to coax her to press back forth into him. To reciprocate his passion. 

But she felt nothing beyond mild curiosity at his caress. 

It would be so easy to just lose herself in it, to take all the love he was offering her. To hide herself from those uncomfortable facts, to cloak herself in the comfort and devotion Finn could offer so she would never have to face it. 

Willingly deceiving his soft heart so she would never have to admit the cruel truth to herself again. To take his love without ever really giving hers back in return.

Because Rey's heart was no longer was hers to give. 

Lost instead to someone who would never offer the stability Finn would die trying to give her.  
Incapable of even trying. 

But she could not take Finn's earnest promise of love in the absence his. It was this stark realisation which hurt more than she could ever express. 

Finn did not deserve this. 

Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing were the same. 

Rey dreaded his reaction as she was finally spurred into action. 

Pushing gently against his chest, Rey pulled her face away from his eager lips. 

Whispering “Finn, stop" so faintly she wasn’t sure the words actually left her mouth. 

She shook her head slowly as she stepped away from him. Her brow dark with a worried frown as her eyes fell from his to fix upon the cold, durasteel ramp. 

Unable to say anything further that could deflate the growing tension. To sooth the embarrassment Finn was sure to feel from her rejection. 

“Rey...” Finn whispered dejectedly, realization dawning on his face as he took in Rey’s regretful and sorrowful expression. His grip on her wrist loosened to nothing as his hand swung aimlessly back to his side once more. 

“I’m sorry Finn.” Rey sobbed, tears now falling freely from her eyes. Blinking rapidly, Finn tried to swallow the well of burning, bitter disappointment that formed in his throat. His eyes growing red as he fought back his own tears. 

“I’ve been a fool, haven’t I ” Finn murmured despondently, his lip starting to shake as he tried to process his growing heartbreak. 

“No, you haven’t” Rey said sweetly, cupping both his cheeks as she gave him a soft, affectionate smile. 

“I have” he sighed woundedly, dropping his gaze to the floor. Face screwing up into a tight ball as if his body ached with the pain of it all. Chest tight and breathless. 

“I thought....I thought you and I.....That you...” he trailed off, now so embarrassed his cheeks flushed darker under his chocolate skin. 

“That I what Finn?” Rey asked gently. 

“That you loved me...” he forced himself to say, his voice bitter with self- hatred. 

“But I do. I do love you” Rey said earnestly, pressing a kiss to the crown of his downcast head. Finn’s face brightened as her words filled his ears and heart with hope.  
His elation was short-lived, however, as Rey’s face tightened into a pained frown. 

“Just....not in the way you may want me to.” 

Finn’s heart pounded with disappointment, the pain of his unrequited love for her a deep and unrelenting agony. 

“I see” he said coldly. 

Staring at her with visible hurt, he reached up and gently removed her hands from his face. His chest rising up and down more rapidly as he tried to quell his anger and upset. To attempt maintaining his pride and composure. 

But failing miserably, as he now glared up at her. 

Betrayed. 

Rey stood there, face twisted into an expression of the deepest contrition. Unsure how she could ever fix the broken look in her best friend's eyes. 

“Finn..” she began, her voice wavering as a sob threatened to wreck her body again. Desperately wishing she could feel different, that she could pretend the deep love she held for him was something more than what someone felt for a dear friend. 

But Finn deserved so much more than that. 

She couldn’t avoid breaking his heart no matter what she did. 

“Finn...” she tried again more confidence “you don’t know how earnestly I want things to be different, that..” 

“No....it’s okay Rey" he interrupted as she struggled to finish her sentence, his voice gentler this time than she deserved. 

“I...misread things. That’s my fault" he sighed, his lip quivering despite his attempt at composure. 

They both stood there for a moment in silence, a mere foot from one another, and yet, it felt like an entire galaxy. 

The distance expanding by the second. 

Behind Rey, the sound of Chewbacca's impatient growl permeated the silence between them and drew them back to reality. 

The Wookie's grumbling reminding Rey they were already running five minutes behind schedule. 

The man that waited for her on the distant reaches of the galaxy would not take kindly to this, his patience and sense of reason not something he was known for. 

“I better go, Chewie is getting antsy" she murmured awkwardly, hating the way Finn now looked at her. 

His utter disappointment was painted all across his sweet face as they move further apart.  
After a pause, Finn nodded solemnly, his jaw twitching as he fought back his hurt and the ever-present worry he still had for her. 

“Please be safe." he said softly, turning his body and walking down the ramp without further preamble. 

Pausing on the bottom, he looked over his shoulder at her one last time. 

“I’ll be here waiting for you when you get back......We all will ” 

Rey gave him a small watery smile in return, gladly accepting the small olive branch he offered. 

“I’ll be seeing you around Mr Big Deal” she softly teased. Finn scoffed at this but the ghost of a smile tugged at his mouth. 

“Goodbye Rey" he replied more warmly this time.  
A thunderous pain hit Rey in the chest as she watched him leave, sensing through the Force the immense heartache he felt even as he tried to walk away with his head held high.

“Goodbye Finn" she said sadly, turning and entering the Falcon without another breath. 

***************************************************  
Across the great expanse of space and time, Rey and Chewie drifted forth into the unknown. 

The grinding noise of the Falcon’s engine the only sign they were actually in motion despite the atmosphere of lethargy and stasis. The endless void of black a constant was in their periphery, no stars interrupting the dark for the many million miles of the journey. 

The silence and void view becomes a great gnawing maw of discontent for Rey’s troubled mind. 

Chewie was not in the mood for conversation either, his intense concentration taken up instead by the detritus that had found itself in the Falcon’s direct path. 

Its malignant form shrouded in the inky abyss of deep space, never floating into view until the last moment.  
The lack of light a constant danger in this remote section of the galaxy. 

Rey was surprised to find so much debris out here, so far away from any known star or planet. The distance from here until any form of intelligent civilization was so great, it seemed almost nigh impossible for such impediments to exist.  
In her musings, Rey considered sourly, perhaps it was the remains of a once great and vibrant system, decimated in the golden age of the Empire. 

Maybe it had been of the unfortunate victim of the First Order. A once great star drained in the pursuit of its systems inevitable subjugation. 

Or perhaps it was the remains of something more ancient.

Now nothing more than scattered star dust and the fractured remnants of a long forgotten existence. 

Eventually the quiet and forlorn sight of this maudlin detritus, became all too much for Rey to bear. 

Her guilt and dour mood spurring her into action. 

Chewie didn't even look in direction as she hurried off with an audible sigh. His years of experience with human females informing him , sometimes, it was best to leave them to their own devices. 

Rey found herself grabbing the hololink as she rushed passed the main hold, grasping the cold metal device before she had even formed the conscious thought in her mind.  
Marching her feet in the direction of her bunk, Rey pulled the door closed behind her with another deep sigh. 

Steeling her nerves for what she was about to do. 

Climbing into the bunk, she opened the comm line as she leaned back against hard internal wall of the cabin. Her heart quickening as the machine droned on, fixing upon the corresponding hololink the many million miles away. 

Rose squinting face greeted her after just a few seconds, her hair a mess and clothes rumpled as the harsh blue light cast deep shadows on her tired face. 

She was barely awake, blinking painfully at the overly bright hologram that had interrupted her rest. 

Rey found herself tongue tied, gaping like a fish as she stared at the image of her friend with growing fear. 

Rose squinted at the image again, the connection on her side so bad she could only see the outline of her caller. The feed blurring in and out of focus and the low buzz of interference a droning annoyance to her exhausted nerves. 

"Hello, anyone there?" She croaked out tersely, losing patience as the silence dragged on too long. It is clear she is keen to return to her bed as soon as possible. 

"Kaydel you better not be..." 

"Hi" Rey finally managed to spit out after a great whoosh of breath broke from her chest. 

"I'm sorry I woke you." 

Rose frowned heavily for a moment before her features opened up in surprise. 

"Rey?" she exclaimed loudly, sitting forward to search the fuzzy image anxiously. 

"Rey are you okay? Is Chewie okay?” 

"I'm fine....we're fine. I just...." pausing awkwardly, Rey swallowed deeply. This was harder than she thought. Rose's sweet, earnest face staring up at her with growing concern. 

"I'm sorry I woke you " Rey repeated ,mumbling apologetically as the foolishness of her actions became abundantly clear. 

Perhaps ignorance would be bliss at least until all this was over. 

"No! Don’t be silly. I have to be on deck in 30mins anyway. I've slept enough." Rose yawned with a smile, more than happy to distract herself with Rey's company and avoid the maelstrom she was heading into later that night. 

Rey could see from the bags under her eyes she was more exhausted than she let on. Too polite and good natured, to allow Rey feel one whit of guilt. 

This fact alone made Rey's whole heart ache with shame. 

The connection shifted suddenly between them and Rey's troubled expression was brought swiftly into focus. 

Rose large brown eyes widened as her gaze fixed upon her friend's uncharacteristically down turned mouth. She had never seen Rey look so gloomy, her ever present, cheerful smile noticeably absent. 

"Rey are you sure you're okay?" 

Looking up at her like a deer in headlights, Rey seemed to shake herself out of her momentary funk. Plastering her face with a tight smile and forcing the corners of her mouth up in an imitation of good humour. 

"Yeah sorry, I think this mission is making me a little scatty. It's so....desolate out here, I feel like I've lost all sense of time" 

Rose nodded, her brow bunched up in a frown as she considered Rey’s answer. 

"I’ve heard the outer reaches passed the Ossian Plains, are just awful. I met a few crazy pilots that swore they had seen great, black space monsters out there. Bigger than whole planets.....and the idea of just drifting through there blind..." Rose shivered, unable to find the right words to express her abject fear at the very thought of it. 

“I dread to even consider it" 

" How did you know we were heading passed the Ossian Plains?" Rey smirked, bemused at how easily Rose had wormed the classified information from Poe. The brash, but ultimately good natured, commander was the only senior officer apart from Leia who knew their initial mission route. 

Rose had the decency to blush as she shrugged. Her reply too casual for her to deny guilt. 

"Poe always picks the worst passwords" 

"You hacked Poes datapad?!" Rey exclaimed, snorting with laughter. 

"Didn’t have to, he left it open in the officers mess this morning. The cross galaxy notice for the Falcon was on the first tab.....I couldn't help but look." Rose . 

"Dunderhead! How is he a senior Commander?" Rey snorted again, heaving a sigh as she looked at Rose with an arched brow. Smirking as she spoke again. 

"Thank the Gods that's all he knows!" 

Rose smiled in response. 

"I know, it's a miracle we don’t have leaks left and right if he's that careless with classified mission plans." 

"He's a traitors dream." Rey quipped, chuckling darkly as she rolled her eyes. 

"At least Finn and Jannah got back before he left anything else lying around ." Rose added dryly. 

Rey froze on the other side of holo. 

Finn. 

Had it been a whole day cycle already? 

She really losing all sense of time out here . 

"He's....hes back? Is he...okay" she stuttered out, her face paling considerably. 

Rose's eyes narrowed as she looked at her with confusion, not quite understanding Rey’s sudden stricken expression. 

"Yeah...it went off better than expected. Only minor scrapes and bruises." Rose said flatly, searching her friend’s face for a window into her sudden turmoil. A battle rippling across her features , her mouth twitching and brow heavy. 

"Good , that's great." Rey replied quietly, her stomach in knots. Knowing there was a slim chance Rose would not notice her swift change in posture. 

"Rey...." Rose began with trepidation. 

Taking a deep breath Rey closed her eyes, squeezing her hands into tight fists as she forced the next words out of her mouth. 

"He kissed me” 

Rose blinked at her rapidly in reply. 

"Who did?" 

"Finn" Rey ground out as she opened her eyes again. 

"He kissed me yesterday, just before I left.” 

"What?" 

Rose seemed to freeze as Rey’s words floated in the tense air between them. 

Rey did not dare breath as she awaited Roses reaction. Her friend just stared at her agog, blinking rapidly as she tried find the words to speak. To give voice to the brewing storm in her mind. 

"Wow" was all she could say, tone bitter as her eyes slowly drifted down from Rey's repentant face. 

"Rose I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen. He took me surprise and I.. Gods I don’t know what to say" Rey sighed unhappily. 

"If this is your way of asking my permission to steal my boyfriend, I got to say it's not your best tact" Rose said coldly, her expression hard and without any trace of her previous humour. 

"Maker Rose, no! It's not like that at all..." 

Rey exclaimed desperately, leaning closer to look at her friend with earnest regret. 

"It certainly feels like that" Rose replied huffily. 

"Its not, I promise you...Finn and I....he’s my friend. Nothing more." Rey sighed again, hoping she could make Rose see she was telling the truth. 

"If I ever made him think that I wanted more from him or led him on in any way.....I am truly sorry Rose." She paused, her panic subsiding as she watched her friends posture relax a little. Her frown softening as her defensive glare melted away. 

"It's no secret I have always loved him, but, not like that. Never like that, I promise you. Finn is the closest thing I have to family " 

Rey chewed on her lip, conscious not to say anything further lest she seem like she was over compensating, patiently waiting for Rose to respond again.  
Exhaling loudly, her disappointment and hurt were etched on her sweet face. Rose nodded slowly after a beat as the ache of betrayal unfurled in her gut.

"Its okay" she murmured sadly "I kinda knew this day would come eventually.....hes always loved you more." 

"Rose...I'm sure that's not..." Rey began quietly, expression growing despondent. 

"No...it is" Rose interrupted " he talks about you in his sleep. Can't help it anymore than you can help loving someone else" 

Rey's eyes widened as her head whipped up in surprise. 

"I..I..do...nnooooot" she stuttered, unable to find the wherewithal to deny it convincingly. 

"You do too, why else would you turn Finn down?" Rose said quietly. 

"Because he's like a brother to me" Rey sputtered. 

"People have settled for a lot worse when they're alone" Rose said bleakly, cocking her head to the side as she analysed Rey's flustered expression. 

"I...I...well" she stumbled over her words, her face flushing visibly. 

Is it Poe?" Rose said softly, the ghost of a playful smile on her mouth. 

"Gods no! Are you insane?" Rey spluttered loudly. 

"I'm just checking! However..... I'm glad it's not! I don't think Jessica would be quite as understanding as I am about this." Rose comments mordantly.

“Yeah....shes .....an intense person" Rey mutters back with a chuckle. 

"Who is it then?" Rose probed again. 

Rey’s face went bright red again, the heat of her blush spreading down her neck and onto her chest as her throat dried up instantly. Heart pounding as she tried to find any excuse to steer Rose away from the truth. There was no way she could say his name and ever be welcome in Rose’s company again. 

"Rey..... who is it?” She asked again, her voice more serious this time. Suspicion rising. 

Chewies deep growl interrupted suddenly, his huge paw rapping on the door loudly. 

"Okay" Rey answered quickly, thankful for his accidental intrusion and conscious Rose was still looking at her with heavy suspicion. 

Not at all helped by Rey's increasingly flushed cheeks. 

"I'll be right out" 

Chewie grunted in reply, his heavy footsteps shifting as he started to amble away. 

"I'll be there, I promise" Rey called after him. Turning back to Rose with an apologetic grimace. 

"I'm sorry, I'm going to have to go" 

Rose's lips pursed for a second in annoyance, but her tight expression relaxed a little as she conceded Rey could do little about the timing. 

"Go, it's okay Rey. But I expect a full report when you get back " she smirked gently, her soft brown eyes flashing with mischief. 

"Sure" Rey smiled back tiredly, knowing deep down she was lying to herself, and even more heinous, to Rose. There was no conceivable way she would ever be able to tell her the truth. 

But that was bridge she would carefully cross when she came to it. 

Leaning forward to sever the connection, Rey's finger paused over the control. Noting the growing look of sorrow that was spreading across Rose's sweet features. Her shock and anger now being replaced by very real pain. 

"Are you going to be okay?" Rey asked sweetly, concern edging in voice. 

Rose nodded as she sighed. 

"Yeah, I will be. I have to be " 

Rey winced again as she replied. 

"I really am sorry, I wish things were different ...I..." 

"Stop, I don't blame you. " Rose shushed as Rey faltered. 

"Hell...I don't really blame Finn either in some ways.....Don't get me wrong he went about things in completely the worst way..." she added bitterly "..but...I think....we both knew..deep down...that things had run their course. That we were never meant to be each others destiny" 

Rose sighed again as she wiped a stray tear from the corner of her eye. 

"Still doesn't hurt any less " she smiled sadly after a long, sorrowful moment. 

"I know" Rey murmured back abashedly. 

"Rey....please don't beat yourself up about this, life moves on and....... so will I" Rose said more firmly. Rey nodded, still feeling the sickly, roiling burn of guilt in her gut. Berating herself for what she has caused even as her friend shows clemency and understanding. 

"You don't hate me?" She whispered meekly, her lip trembling. 

"Never." Rose smiled back affectionately. 

Rey beamed in reply, adding nothing further but feeling lighter than she had in days. 

The tender moment however was short lived as Chewie barked loudly once more to usher her out. 

"I'll see you on the other side Captain Tico" Rey says hopefully, reaching for the datapad controls with reluctance. 

"See you soon Master Rey" 

The image of her friend rapidly collapsed in on itself as the hololink was closed and Rey was left alone in the gloomy silence once more. 

Thoughts drifting in fleeting jumps to whom she kept secret within her heart. The depth and strength of her feelings clouded to all including him. 

In her minds eye, she thought she saw the grudging object of her affections.  
Eyes the colour of Corellian whiskey as he stared at her across the bunk. 

Nostrils flaring as he fought some great anger within himself. 

Ren's chest visibly rose up and down in quick, tight breaths, heaving as if he was steeling himself to speak. 

It seemed too real 

Blinking rapidly in surprise Rey soon found the image gone, his outline a split second trick of the mind and nothing more. 

Wishful thinking. 

Rey was alone. 

*******************************************************

Across the far stretch of the Galaxy, Kylo Ren clenched and relaxed his hand in rapid succession. A rage so twisted and violent sweeping his body, he felt nothing but pain. 

Biting jealousy adding a dangerous fuel to the fire that roared through him. 

His hands tightening more and more as his anger built, remaining in fists as he strode across the stone plateau and drove his whole weight into a punch that rattled the ashlar in front of him. 

He drew back and struck again, howling at the pain and frustration. Throwing his fist once more into the stone hut, he ignored the tearing of flesh and crunch of bone, as it bounced of the hard, impervious masonry. The blood that ran down his palm as his hands finally relaxed open again, was a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things.  
His ever present black leather gloves, however, were ruined beyond repair . 

Panting loudly, the ache in Kylo's hands did nothing to distract from the pain in his heart. The feeling of betrayal and disappointment causing tears to prick at corners of his eyes. Blurring his vision as he swiped at the offending drops before they cascaded down his cheeks. 

He would not be a slave to his emotions. 

Dipping to retrieve his helmet from the dirt, he growled at his own soft heart . The mask had been dropped in surprise when Rey had appeared in front of him, so deep in conversation with her friend she had not noticed his presence until he'd found a desperate way to sever the bond. 

What he'd learned was an arrow straight through his breast, striking true and deep. 

How could have been so blind to the truth? So ready to believe she felt anything but pity for him behind those depthless hazel eyes. 

Kef Bir.  
It had all started again then.

When they had met upon that windswept, sea beaten remnant of the Empire some weeks ago, his hope had been stoked beyond measure. 

In the midst of that bitter, miserable battle neither had any real intention of winning, she had thrown her weapon away. Pleaded with him to help her or strike her down where she stood, because she could and would not fight him anymore. 

Her anger was gone. 

As was his the longer the moment had stretched out in front of them. 

The freezing spray off the waves and driving rain still beating against them as neither of them moved. 

His lightsabre powered down before he even realized he had considered her words. 

The fight gone from him entirely. 

The ghost of a smile that played upon her lips was laced with relief and Kylo had wanted nothing more than to draw her deeply with his arms. To kiss her soundly like he'd ached for in the throne room. 

Before it had all gone to hell. 

But...this thought had only been fleeting, the shot from a rogue Resistance cannon straight and true as it hurtled towards him. 

Rey had pushed him off his feet and safely out of harm before he'd even had time to blink. 

Deflecting a second shot, Rey had screamed at him to run while he still had a chance. 

Not having to be told twice, he had raced back to his TIE fighter as the cannons tried in earnest to blast him to smithereens. Rey held off as much of the fire as she could. 

Protecting him from certain death. 

Pausing for a moment too longer to ponder why, Rey had roared at him to go. Her hands reaching out into force to thrust the raging seas high into the sky, giving him precious seconds to take off and hurtle towards the safety of the upper atmosphere. The wall of water, engulfing the resistance fighter and forcing it down into the raging storm below. 

He felt Rey's grief and guilt thrum through the bond as the life within the x-wing was snuffed out like a candle flame. Its light flickering to black in the Force as the ship sunk lower in the water. 

She had killed for him. 

Without a second thought, she had killed one of her own to save him. 

As he'd fled that godforsaken planet, he'd tried to reason why. 

Could she truly still care for him even after everything? 

When she'd reached out through their bond a few days ago, begging for help again, he had not hesitated. 

He would kill for her too. 

Defy the darkness that called him from the outer reaches. 

Just for that glimmer of hope, that she could love him too. 

He had been wrong. 

Rey.....she had fallen for someone. 

He had lost her. 

Look at his red threaded helmet, Kylo's temper rose again as his thoughts drifted to her red flushed cheeks, that small smile of secret love. 

Launching his helmet across the stony pathway with a roar and kicking at weeds that surrounded the cold, grey huts, Kylo Ren swore he would destroy the fool that dared to capture her heart.


	2. Heartless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo reacts badly to his overwhelming jealousy and Rey bears the brunt of his temper.
> 
> Or
> 
> Kylo is a complete and utter asshat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all,
> 
> I'm posting early, because I've had the worst day and need the distraction!  
> Thank you all for your KUDOS and comments, its meant a lot, especially on this shitty day!
> 
> Part 3 will hopefully be posted after the weekend and then I'll be working on my other fics next week.
> 
> If you like this story, please do check out my other work in progress fix-it-fic, Dusk till Dawn. for
> 
> I hope you enjoy the new chapter :)

It just past mid-afternoon on  Ahch -To when Rey and  Chewie finally came into land on that inhospitable rock of an island. Not that the casual observer would have known that, given the heavy, dark sky of grey that pressed upon the horizon.

Draining any sense of time or season.

This planet was just a place of abject miserable.

Rey did not have to search the craggy terrain long before she spotted him,  Kylo’s ever present black cloak whipping around his powerful body as the wind howled across the open plateau of shale.

Her heart lurched at the sight of him, the warm flicker of  _ something _ unfathomably settling in the bottom of her gut. That handsome face of  his an aching relief she could barely admit to even now.

His mere presence was like falling into black hole.

All-consuming and  unavoidable.

How she welcomed the darkness in him, even she fought against it in herself.

It was intoxicating

Kylo’s coal black eyes seared into her across the cold, stone path that separated them. Burning with a barely contained rage, his jaw twitching here and there as he mulled over some great grievance in his mind. 

At  his feet , just under the thick  metal heels of his leather boots, lay the remnants of his  pervasive mask.

Smashed to pieces in some childish , violent tantrum.

She did not dare ask him what happened, he wouldn't tell her anyway.

Rey stood staring at him, hesitating as she felt the cold, dark press of something bitter and dangerous  that  worked its way through his heart.

It chilled her, that twisted expression. 

Ben had never looked at her like that before, so full of anger and hate.

Come to think of it,  Kylo Ren had never glared at her with such animosity either.

Or treated her with such open disdain as the snarl that finally greeted her across the divide. 

“You are late”  Kylo spat angrily, striding forward across the unforgiving shale and passing her with great purposeful, stamping steps. 

Rey blinked rapidly in his wake, utter bemused by this sudden aggression. 

She didn’t take him for such a stickler for time, they were only half galactic hour behind schedule.

“We hit an asteroid field along the way, we had to slow down" Rey sputtered as she staggered after him and up the access ramp. 

Kylo waved his hand at her dismissively as he looked back over his shoulder for briefest of moments. His posture was tense and oddly defensive.

He grunted loudly after a long glare in Rey’s direction, stalking down the well-worn path to the cockpit with little forward thought. The action felt like muscle memory, an echo of his long buried childhood as he stamped his way through the Falcon.

Soon finding himself shoulder to shoulder with  Chewie before he even knew what he was doing.

Kylo’s aggression and annoyance took an abrupt backseat as he visibly gulped up at the Wookie, a flash of nervousness filling him.

He had only seen  Chewie once since that terrible day at  Starkiller Base and that had been a short perfunctory and awkwardly tense  holocall between Chewie, Rey and Leia a few days ago. The call needed to agree the terms of their temporary alliance and how things would progress if Rey and  Kylo were successful.

The First Order were on the brink of collapse anyway, fleet all but annihilated by the new forces coming from the dark corners of the Galaxy. Joining the Resistance was the only choice they had, the truce made easier by the fact  Hux was permanently out of the picture.

Blown into oblivion a few weeks passed after his destroyer was cornered on a routine transport run.

There was no one left to object to the sudden softening of the Supreme Leader’s relations with Leia  Organa and her rag tag group of traitors.

No one could argue, not when it was a question of survival.

Now in the physical presence of his surrogate uncle,  Kylo felt all the guilt he’d buried over the last 12 moon cycles bubble to the surface. Unsure if he should expect a vengeful blow to the mouth or not, from  Chewie’s immense paws.

The Wookie stared down at him silently, a low growl rumbling from his chest as he wrestled with the same decision.

Grunting and stepping back he pointed at the Captain’s chair, Han’s chair, his mind made up.

<No sit there>

His paw gestured at the seat directly behind his, a heavy frown on his hairy face.

<Sit there, Boy got it?>

Kylo nodded quickly back at him with a pale face, shuffling into ordered the seat with little complaint.

Behind him, Rey bit her lip as she tried to hide her smile, slipping into chair beside  Kylo without another word.

She swallowed her sudden urge to laugh at the scene she had just witnessed, the cowed expression of  Kylo amusing her in some twisted way. Rey huffed and coughed as a snort escaped her mouth despite her attempt at containment. 

The tickle of laughter getting worse the longer she held it in.

It was only when  Kylo glared at her hotly, face full of disgust and disdain, that the hysteria finally passed. Rey gulped and looked away, training her eyes on the control panel as  Chewie began their ascent.

A silence fell among the trio as they climbed higher, the Falcon soon leaving the dense, wet atmosphere of  Ahch -To far behind to hurtle back out into the endless, void of space.

The old freighter groaning as they quickly jumped to  lightspeed .

The silence continued for quite a  while, all passengers lost to their own thoughts.

The longer this stretched, the more uncomfortable Rey became. Sensing the turbulent, conflicted energy vibrating out of every pore of  Kylo , the Force around him an obsidian cloud of rage.

Rey tried to covertly slip under  Kylo’s defences, his mind an impenetrable wall she could find no crack to wriggle through. His hold slipped only for the briefest of breathes before snapping shut again with a growl.

His eyes fiery and dangerous as he glared at her.

Rey did not dignify his animosity with a response, her intrusion netting her the answers she needed.

_ Well, some of them. _

Kylo's mind was in turmoil, a new agony tainting his thoughts she hadn't felt before. This was a fact she knew for certain _. _

The question was, why?

It was then, when she dared another furtive look in his direction that she saw something that stole her attention away. Her curious eyes falling onto the tightly coiled, clenching shape of his fists resting in his lap.

Kylo’s gloves were ripped apart and bloodstained, the torn leather creasing as he tensed and relaxed his fists every few seconds. Each movement of his fingers, revealing the pale, bruised flesh below.

"Ben ..... " Rey sighed audibly, unconsciously leaning forward to get a better look at his torn skin. Her own hands reaching out towards his.

Watching her with a cold indifference, Rey was quickly met with an indignant grunt from her bad-tempered ship mate,  Kylo’s eyes flashing in warning as they met. 

He moved his hands away from her searching touch, His ill humour refusing to break even as she looked back at him with soft confusion.

Rey’s face crumpled, visibly hurt by his belligerence toward her.

Reaching down,  Kylo ripped the last of the leather from his hand in a flurry of aggression, knuckles bleeding freely as the force of his movements burst the freshly formed scabs.

  
Reys eyes widened in bewilderment as Kylo grunted again with an angry exhale, tearing his gaze away from her. His dark eyes fixed upon the rush of colours that slid passed and over the Falcon as they roared through time and space. Pointedly ignoring her.

Rey scoffed loudly as recovered from the slight, her patience for his ornery behaviour already worn to the nub.   


"Do you want a  bacta patch or something.... or are you intending to bleed all over the floor for the foreseeable future?"

She glowered at him, arms crossing across her chest as her temper flared. 

Ignoring the jibe,  Kylo studied the navigational chart that glowed at him from the console.  Scrutinous frown tracing the curve of each line and system, memorizing every jump they would make and the possible danger that each section threatened. 

"We’re not taking the  Nejuire Highway?" He asked with a growing discontent, lips pursed in an unhappy grimace. He was more displeased by the discovery of this abrupt change of plan. 

<No...no Nejuire Highway. Dark Soldiers patrolling that jump point. Friends clear path by  Austa Run> Chewie explained gruffly, slowing the ship as they eased out of light speed.

_ Friends –  _ Rey thought proudly –  _ Their safe passage had been secured by Finn and Jannah as promised. _

" Austa Run! Are you insane, that will add almost a whole day cycle to our mission"  Kylo huffed back loudly, not caring one bit his griping had caused the Wookie's great paws to clench tightly on the  controls.

Temper rising.

"So what ....it's not as if you have anything  _ pressing  _ to do or someplace  _ else  _ to be" Rey snapped back.

"That's not the point Scavenger "  Kylo growled back, his eyes flashing with fury as he glared at her for the briefest of moments. His gaze returned to the console with a scowl as he shook his head in disbelief.

"We both know what awaits us at the other end of this. The sooner we get there, the sooner we can end it"

"That may be.... _But...._ ” Rey argued back, crossing her arms once more across her chest “....I think arriving alive, albeit, a little late... is preferable to meeting an over eager destroyer on the  Nejuire Highway". 

Rey huffed petulantly when she saw  Kylo roll his eyes at her in reply.

“It’s not worth the risk!”

Kylo’s upper lip twisted into a sneer, his sour expression goading  Rey's annoyance even further. The fact he  point blank refused to look at her, stirring her ire even more.

"You're not confident this piece of junk can out run them?" He queried snidely, his tone and posture the definition of condescension.

"No" Rey ground out angrily, trying not to react to his attempts at riling her. But failing miserably as her nostrils flared in growing agitation. 

"Gods....she finally sees sense. Perhaps you have potential after all. "  Kylo laughed caustically, his arrogance and bad manner pressing upon her last nerve.

"Clearly you are not as prone to that all that empty-headed naivety as every other Resistance dolt.  _ My  _ how the scruffy, wide eyed scavenger has grown."

"And yet you remain the same unpleasant, self-important oaf _Supreme Leader Ren_ " Rey shot back, teeth gritting in her jaw.

" Ahhh ...how touching, you truly know me."  Kylo growled, gaze finally shifting back to her as the insult pulled him into her murderous stare.

"More than you know me" Rey threatened, her voice dangerously low.

Leaning in,  Kylo’s dark eyes bored into hers with a barely disguised malice. 

"No?” he hissed back, his brow heavy and face severe.

“If you truly believe that, maybe you really have nothing more than sand left between those desert rat ears"

Rey blinked back at him rapidly as he looked at her with a cruel smirk.

Feeling the heat rise over her face and chest as her fury grew  further, Rey still could not understand his sudden animosity toward her. They had spoken only two days earlier with his mother and he had been, cordial.

At least by his very low standards anyway.

She knew things between them had very rarely been friendly or without some flash of conflict, but even when they had fought, he had never looked at her with such hate. Like she was the dirt upon his boots.

He had never spoke to her so coarsely or made it a point to purposefully antagonize her.

After the Throne room.....when he had been filled with a dejected fury, and rightly so, he had shown some sort respect toward her.

Kylo had never treated her like she didn’t matter.

" Rey Nobody, the future of the Jedi order and yet, still so feral and unrefined. I won't dare to think what lies between those wild legs of yours"  Kylo continued on, losing all sense of himself as he let his vitriolic mouth run “Or to estimate how many idiots have already gleefully parted them, for that matter.”

Kylo knew he had  crossed a very big, and very untouchable line, as soon as the last syllable leaves his mouth.

His stupid, unthinking mouth.

All the air in the room disappeared all at once as his hateful words echoed round the cockpit. 

Kylo gulped audibly as he tried to swallow that choking feeling of regret that filled him.

This was totally beyond the pale. 

Rey’s right arm swung forward without warning and without her even consciously thinking about it Too overcome by hurt to resist the instinct to lash out at him. 

The sharp clap of her hand connecting with  Kylo’s cheek was a resounding _wallop_ in the deadly quiet of the room. The whole left-hand side of his face glowing red from the force of her blow. 

Tears pricked at the corner of Rey’s eyes as  Kylo’s mouth fell open in shock.

His spitting,  self-righteous anger now suddenly gone as he saw how upset he has made her.

Rey’s face crumpled as her lip shook, holding back her tears as her cheeks darkened with the effort. 

He gaped at her, frozen in his own disbelief. Internally screaming at himself to apologize immediately, but finding no words of contrition would form on his tongue.

Rey reacted first.

Thundering to her feet, she shoved him back into his threadbare seat as she strode off toward the main hold. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

Pausing for a moment she glanced over her shoulder at him with venom.

"Why are you such an asshole?" She said bitterly with stuttering breath, tears now falling from her eyes as she looked back at him with such disappointment.

Kylo did not answer her, staring back at helplessly as his words failed him again.

Stalking off, Rey threw the rarely used cockpit door shut with a monumental bang.

Her footsteps stamping as far away from him as her feet could carry her.

Kylo did not have much time following her exit to wallow or feel self-pity in the wake of this disaster. For no sooner had Rey left the cockpit then he was suddenly pulled out of his chair, the unyielding and vice like grip of Chewbacca’s huge paws hoisting him up off his feet.

The Wookie’s large, sharp teeth were  bared at him, a low growl rumbling deep from his throat as he looked at  Kylo with a barely restrained rage. 

Kylo was so taken by surprise, he did nothing but cower like a child.

<Apologize now> Chewbacca ground out, the threat to  Kylo’s safety clear without a word of warn even being said.

<Sunshine not deserve that, apologize now>

Kylo spluttered awkwardly, nothing of value leaving his mouth as he tried to recover his composure.

The Wookie growled deeper, pulling the hapless man closer to his furry face.

<Apologize Boy!>

Throwing  Kylo back into his chair with another huff of anger, Chewbacca returned to his place by the console to begin setting their next course across the cosmos.

Gently preparing the ancient but reliable ship for the next portion of their long journey.

Kylo rose to his feet slowly after a moment, running a shaking hand down his crumpled uniform with an nervous clearing of his throat. He tried in earnest to smooth the creased fabric and recover his tarnished dignity in some small way as his breathing slowed.

Looking around the cockpit, he seemed to shift his weight from foot to foot as he stalled against the shit storm he had created.

<Boy.....go! Do not make things worse> the old Wookie sighed unhappily one last time, harrumphing softly before falling silent once more.

* * *

Kylo had paced up and down the hold more than a dozen times, trying to wrangle his thoughts and prepare his apologies before he dared walk down the short, gloomy corridor to the cabins.

Standing by the door to her bunk,  Kylo could do nothing but stare at the access panel. Terrified to face Rey now the moment had stretched on.

The hurtful words he had inflicted upon her, twisted their thorny vines round and round in his head. Choking his confidence and poisoning any possibility in his mind that he could make any meaningful amends  now . There was no way she would even speak to him let alone accept his apology!

Why the hell had he said those hurtful things, none of it was even remotely true!

Truth be told,  Kylo worshiped the very ground Rey walked upon.

She was like the sky at dawn, full of burgeoning light and ever so beautiful.

This vibrant being of hope and renewal, like the promise of a new day.

_ Maker, what had he been thinking saying things like that to her? _

Swallowing deeply, his hand hovered over the release button to the door, cursing himself for this further step back with her. 

If he was being honest with himself, deep within he remained blindly mad with jealousy. Hurt by the realization she did not reciprocate his ardent feelings for her.

But.

He had never wanted to wound her heart like that.

Sighing deeply, he steeled himself to press his weight into the button and open the door, pushing aside his apprehension in place of common decency.

However, this uncertain pause was all Rey needed to beat him to the punch.

"Go away" she growled from the other side of the cabin wall, her voice hoarse from tears and rage.

"Rey...I..."  Kylo sighed unhappily, words failing him once more as he scrambled for anything to change her mind. To grant him even one chance to tell her how sorry he was.

He rested his forehead against the cold,  durasteel with a low, desperate sigh. Knowing the battle was already lost.

"Go! I don't want to hear anything you have to say Ren" the reply on the other side ground out, her tone much more forcefully this time.

Swallowing deeply as his jaw twitched with frustration,  Kylo stepped away from the door, his head hung low.

"Fine" he mumbled softly, his disappointment and dejection filling every step away from her he took.

Kylo turned on his heel, guilt and despair burning like acid in his gut as he slowly shuffled back to the main hold.

"Fine" he  murmured to himself again, tone vitriolic  as he flopped down on the frayed, leather seats of the booth with a grunt of discomfort. Mood even more foul now than it had been a few hours before.

But he had no one to blame but himself this time.

Kylo stayed there stewing in his own dissatisfaction, glaring at  nothing in particular but the bare walls of the ship, for more minutes than he would care to admit. Time seemed irrelevant anyway, what would it matter if he’d stared at the battered durasteel for five minutes or five hours. The pain felt the same.

He sat there, expression morose as his shame and anger swirled together in his heart, each emotion fighting for supremacy. 

On the one hand he still felt torn apart by Rey’s betrayal of him. Disheartened that the parts of himself he had so willingly sacrificed for her, could be cast aside so carelessly. 

Kylo’s motivation for joining forces with the Resistance had been, at its core, partially born out of some uncontrollable and inexplicable feeling of devotion he still held for her. 

More fool him, to think that she would hold loyalty and fidelity in such a high regard as he. 

Things may have been murky between them, this deep and unstable attraction they had to one another remaining unspoken about, but that didn’t mean it was not acknowledged.

That it wasn't obvious how he felt about her, craved her affections when he had offered her  _ everything  _ he had. 

It was true that Rey had rejected  Kylo Ren, but she had not rejected Ben Solo in that throne room.

There was a difference ....or so he thought.

He  had been  wrong, so very wrong and he had been a pathetic fool to hope otherwise.

Who could ever learn to love a beast like  him?

So, he’d lashed out like a spoiled, witless child.

And now, he felt a shame so deep his chest felt tight and breathless with the weight of it. To reduce her honour to all but nought in such coarse terms, was intolerable and undeserved for any woman. 

His mother had taught him better than that.

His father too.

Maker, he had been a prick and a fool today.

Chewbacca's great lumbering footsteps interrupted  Kylo’s sullen musing as he came shuffling into the hold, his old eyes settling on  Kylo with a scowl. 

<Boy not  say sorry! How Boy not say sorry after all those dirty words!> he blustered in disbelief. 

Kylo’s frown deepened as he sighed jadedly at the Wookie. 

"I  tried; she didn't want to hear anything I wanted to say "

<Try again!> Chewie growled, striding over and looming above him with a weary glare.

"How?" He spat back insolently "Please tell me how when she won’t even open the door"

Shaking his great, hairy head at  Kylo’s lacklustre efforts, Chewbacca grunted loudly before turning toward the engineering hold.

<Use big brain of yours for once > the old Wookie mumbled tiredly, as he paused by the  durasteel door.

<More than one way to make Sunshine listen> he added as he looked back at  Kylo pointedly, his eyes shifting ever so slightly to the storage chest just under  Kylo’s feet.

The chest was old and hidden neglectfully under years of spare parts and random, unimportant cargo. But at least it was still here, as carefully stored as Han Solo could ever have manage.

Kylo caught his old friend’s meaning instantly, his eyes fixing on the chest as his throat tightened at recognizing his own childish handwriting at the base.

**_[Property of Ben Organa Solo-keep out!]_ **

He knew immediately what Chewie was angling towards. 

Looking back at his once babysitter and protector,  Kylo nodded in grudging acceptance. 

A slight smile flashed on Chewbacca's furry cheeks before he stepped into the smaller hold and disappeared into the dark.

Kylo stared at the chest for a few moments, this unknown feeling rising in him as his eyes swept over the small, simple reminder of his past. His jaw worked as he chewed on the unhappy feeling catching in his throat.

Swallowing it down to burn in the hollow of his belly,  Kylo sighed heavily.

Brushing the collection of junk off the chest, he carefully prized open the ancient lid, the catches stiff and creaky from a lack of use.

His gaze softened as he looked inside, hands reaching in to run his fingers over the collection of lost treasures and mementos of simpler, happier times.

Gently moving the clutter aside, he discovers the clunky, outdated  datapad within seconds. 

Pulling it out of the dusty old box, he was assaulted by a fresh wave of nostalgia and long forgotten memories. 

His mother had gifted him it to him on the eve of his eleventh birthday, a conscious effort made at the time to atone for the precious moments being lost between them. Jedi training and his mother’s responsibilities in the Republic, ripping the family unit further and further apart.

For a time, that  datapad had provided a vital link and escape from the dark, loneliness that had plagued his tender, teenage heart.

But, in the end, it was not enough to heal the rift that had inevitably formed, and  then  became permanent between Ben Solo and his inattentive parents.

A weekly holo call could not substitute the soothing calm of a mother's embrace or a father's guiding hand upon his shoulder.

When he had fled the Jedi temple after Luke's assassination attempt, the trusty  datapad had been resigned to the status of rarely used relic. Dormant until his clumsy over large hands coaxed it back into life all these years later.

Turning the device in his fingers,  Kylo was surprised to see the screen spring back into life almost immediately. Shining good as new as if no time had passed between its last use and now.

Kylo allowed himself the smallest of smiles as his felt some fleeting, stilted relief in knowing not all was lost.

His fingers danced over the outdated, but still functional icons like second nature, digits moving faster as he finds what he was looking for.

Finding a way through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo/Ben will not act like a sexist ass in any further chapters.....jealousy and rejection brings out the worst in people and he is just a bit of an idiot.


	3. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo finds a way to atone, Rey reflects on the situation and the Falcon is its usually ornery self.
> 
> Or
> 
> Gentle, Understanding and Tall Ben makes a thankful return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all,
> 
> Sorry for the four day delay on this. I have had a packed few days what with Lockdown easing in this part of the World. I had struggled with the last section of this chapter as it is leading to the big pay off between our two space idiots in love. It's hard when you had written 90% of it six months ago and trying to match the tone!
> 
> Plus this chapter ended up being twice then length I planned it to be....oh well haha!
> 
> The next chapter will be up next week or the start of the following week as I'm so behind on my other fic!
> 
> Thank you for all your support and kudos on this little side adventure of mine. I had a better response than I expected!
> 
> If you like what I'm doing or have any feedback, let me know.
> 
> See you all soon for part 4.
> 
> Love,  
> RedCatRen

* * *

In the next room, Rey lay despondently against the threadbare sheets of her bunk, silent tears streaming from eyes as she stared blankly into the dark.  Kylo’s cruel indictment played over and over again in her mind as those wounding words found their mark.

Burying.

Scouring an aching depth into her heart. 

She had been foolish to think he could ever treat her with anything other than thinly veiled contempt, misguided to believe  Kylo Ren would ever truly care for her.

Amid this flaying grief, her thoughts turned once more to Finn and the open, guileless way he had opened his soul and love to her. How he had always shown such kindness and unwavering.

Rey reflected upon the fact, in the single, short year she had known him, Finn had shown her more loyalty and affection than she had ever felt in her entire twenty years of life.

Such devotion and loyalty from another human being were hard things to find.

How easy it could have been to accept it all, to take and take from him until she had drained him to a hollow husk of his former warm-hearted self.

But try as she might, she could deceive her heart into reciprocating the love he had for her. To convince herself the affections she had for him extended beyond anything more than the love for a brother.

Because she knew the difference, she had felt what it was to love someone in the ways that marked your soul. All the minute forms a silent look could set your heart on fire.

She hated Ben for it all, for making her feel those aches of wants bound in each wounded, puppy dog glance. Those barely acknowledged promises he’d uttered in confused double speak. 

If it had driven her insane before, it made her abjectly certifiable now!

And yet ....even with everything  Kylo Ren had done, everything he’d said to her in malice, she  _ could not _ hate him.

She could not ignore the truth staring her point blank in the face despite her best efforts.

Rey could do nothing but curse her fickle, soft heart.

As she lay in the oppressive silence, the gloom in the cabin was suddenly flooded with a flash of intrusive, yellowish light.

Reys blinked awkwardly for a moment as her eyes adjusted, her grumpy gaze focusing on the offending article as her maudlin musings were interrupted. 

The light flashed again as her  datapad vibrated on the floor below her. Rey reached down to grab the small device with a frown, unsure who would be messaging at this hour. Based on her calculations, it had to be about three in the morning on  Ma'Tru .

The  datapad buzzed again as another incoming message popped up on her screen, the sender not from any contact she recognized. The text swum in front of her tear blinded eyes for a moment as she tried to decipher the message.

When her gaze finally focused on the simple words, the opening phrase of ‘ _ I'm sorry’  _ caught her attention. 

_[ **I know I am the last person you want to talk to, but I wanted to say...]** _

_**[I’m sorry.** ] _

Rey frowned in confusion as another message flew through. 

** [Rey, please forgive me for my cruel, ill spoken and utterly untrue words] **

Exhaling loudly in surprise, Rey finally registered the username listed, the identity of her mystery sender slowly revealing itself.

Her eyes wide as a final line of text appeared beside the familiar avatar of a dark-haired boy.

_**BOS** :  _ ** [ I don't expect your forgiveness tonight or even anytime soon. But please know, I am truly sorry for what I said] **

_ BOS _ .

_ Ben  _ _ Organa _ _ Solo. _

He was apologizing.

Blinking rapidly, Rey felt a semblance of relief flood her breast at the realisation. A lightness of spirit filling her in a way that shouldn't have been so easy and simple, after everything  Kylo had said. 

However, Rey had to grudgingly admit, that heavy press of disappointment in him was not as a burdensome as before as she stared at the messages.

No further text flooded through as she studied the  datapad , her eyes retracing the candid words he had sent her with startled interest.

Kylo’s avatar remained active on the messaging network as she stalled, the green ring showing his presence taunting Rey as he patiently waited on her answer.

A nervous energy rolling off him in the next room and striking her in the chest.

Rey’s fingers twitched over the keys as she contemplated her reply, some twisted part of her wanting to lash out and deny him any reprieve. Deprive him any escape from the guilt he clearly felt. 

Maker knows he would have deserved it.

Rey could of course just say nothing.

Let him stew in knowledge of his brutish behaviour and cause him infinitely more pain with her silence.

But.

In less than a day cycle they were set to take on a power so dark and all-consuming, they could not afford any kind of point of contention between them. If they were to survive and to see this mission out to the end, they had to be united.

One way or the other.

Kylo’s avatar remained patiently green as her fingers finally responded and typed out the direct, but not unkind.

** [Thank you] **

Into the waiting messaging field.

Rey did not wait for his potential response, choosing instead to instantly close the messaging app and shut off her  datapad . 

Turning on to her side, Rey pulled the blankets up high around her body and forced her heavy eyes closed. Weary of this day already.

* * *

Back out in the hold,  Kylo exhaled unhappily as he shut his  datapad down too. Conscious, this was the best he could realistically hope for right now. He would just have to live with his mistakes for tonight.

Letting his gaze drift down to the torn and still bloodied skin of his abused knuckles,  Kylo sighed again.

Reaching into the melee of items in his childhood chest once more, he found an ancient cache of  bacta salve and bandages from his days at the temple.

Quietly hoping the material had not deteriorated beyond a reasonable amount, he cleaned his red flecked, swollen knuckles. Carefully soothing the angry flesh as he tried to salvage the bruised skin.

Covering both his hands in the cool salve, he wrapped each knuckle tightly with an off-white bandage. The stench of the less than fresh bacta was an unwelcome distraction, detracting from the numbing effect of the medicine on his ruined hands.

Not that he could complain much.

The dire situation was one hundred percent his own damn making anyway!

Stretching out and molding his considerable height around the curved line of the booth,  Kylo Ren suddenly felt exhausted and unable to keep his eyes open. 

He drifted off quickly into a light sleep, tiredness overtaking him until  Chewie’s great paws shook him from his slumber some time later.

“What?”  Kylo muttered grumpily, reluctantly cracking one dark eye open.

< Chewbacca put ship in low speed autopilot,  need rest now. Be hitting  Amanial system in  8 hour cycle so we jump from there>

The Wookie grunted lowly as he fell silent and stared at  Kylo . 

The younger man sat up after a long breath, looking at the new Captain in befuddlement.

“Okay.....so....”  Kylo responded with a confused lilt when he realised  Chewie had been waiting on his reply.

“Why are you telling me this?”

<So silly Boy know not to press anything in the cockpit> Chewie laughed heartily to himself.

Rubbing at his eyes and yawning,  Kylo grumbled back.

“I won’t, I’m not a child”

<Good, so be adult and like not curious pup of before! Take opportunity to sleep. Once passed  Amanial System, we need all hands-on deck. Understand?>

“Yep....so maybe.... could you leave me in peace to do just that?”  Kylo yawned again, his tone dry.

Chewie laughed as he clapped his great paw on  Kylo’s shoulder.

<Fine, will leave if Boy wishes. But ..... sure he not want to share cabin with Chewbacca? Bunk better for back.>

“No, I’ll be okay here. It’ll be like old times”  Kylo smiled despite himself, feeling nostalgic all of a sudden.

<Only if sure?> Chewie added kindly, standing upright once more as he started to retreat to his quarters.

“ Yes I’m  sure , you snore like a  Sandborer anyway”  Kylo teased and the Wookie harrumphed in displeasure.

<Do not!>

“Do too”  Kylo laughed, turning on his side once more as  Chewie softly lolloped to his cabin in a huff.

Muttering every  Shyriiwookie curse at him, he could manage under his breath.

* * *

For a long time during that dark night, the Falcon had slowly drifted forth in  a r elatively peaceful silence. Gently moving through the endless abyss that surrounded them with little trouble.

Kylo had also eventually drifted into a state of calm and untroubled rest, after  Chewie's interruption. His mind filled with pleasant, unproblematic dreams for once.

However, this lull and break from reality was unfortunately short lived as a loud cacophony of blaring alarms roused the shipmates amid their REM cycle. An undeniable and great shock filling them at the sudden klaxons of warning. 

The grating drill of the alarm had started to thrill all around  Kylo as he abruptly woke, the screech so obtrusive to his  ears, his drums began to throb in protest. 

The muscles of his brow screwed up so tightly in an effort sooth the ringing in his head, his eyes would not open to find the source of this debilitating disturbance. 

As the excruciating moments dragged by, he felt, rather than heard, Rey’s fretful presence arrive in the hold. Moving quickly through the ship, she scurried noiselessly from her room in search of that disconcerting din. 

Kylo’s eyes snapped open as he locked in on her position, his distracting agony immediately forgotten. 

Her lithe form froze at the foot of his makeshift bed as she caught sight of him, momentarily distracted by the surprising state of his obvious undress. 

Kylo flushed as he realized the same, finding himself wearing remarkably less clothes than he remembered falling asleep with.

Clearly he had pulled off everything except his high- waisted black pants sometime during the night, his sleep laden impulses, stripping him back to his basics in an attempt to get comfortable.

It _had_ been rather hot in the ship that night, so Rey couldn’t really blame him for tearing off his heavier layers. Even if the affect completely threw her off balance.

Once his initial embarrassment passed,  Kylo was similarly distracted by Rey’s own state of undress. 

His gut lurched at the sight of her there in front of him, form ethereal in the dimmed cabin lights.

H er long, silky hair lay loose and down upon her shoulder, cascading over the top of the too big tunic she wore as a bed shirt. The fabric was faded to an almost pink from its once vivid red, but there was no denying it.

The over washed garment was unmistakable his.

Rey was wearing his clothes. 

Kylo was dumb struck, a warmth spreading in his chest he couldn't quite explain.

_He liked it._

What's more, Rey could feel how much he liked it.

A deep blush spread over her cheeks and down the skin of her chest in a crimson wave of reply. Her eyes widened as she took a visible gulp in nervousness, but she did not look away.

Kylo’s mouth opened ineffectually before closing again in tight line, any effort to speak ending before it could even begin. Words could do nothing but fail when she stood so lovely in front of him.

Chewie's anxious and aggrieved growl swiftly ended the moment as his heavy footsteps vibrated forcefully on the durasteel, calling for Rey to check the life support systems as he rushed out of his cabin.   


Blinking rapidly, Rey shook herself free from the shared reverie and bolted towards the open access gate.  Kylo was swiftly on his feet and following her before Rey had even taken two panicked strides away. He leaped down into the lower engineering bay and began handing her tools as Rey’s mind turned over the problem in front of them.

The warning bells around the old freighter, grew more and more ominous with each passing second.

Rey quickly tore the main wall panel away, searching the dark cavity before groaning in irritation.

Chewbacca's large dark eyes appeared just above them as the alarm system grew louder, a flash of fear filling those old eyes.

"We must have clipped something in that asteroid field earlier, the coolant system is leaking CO2" Rey coughed out as another blast of cold, dense gas hissed towards her face. 

<Sunshine know how to shut off secondary valve?> Chewbacca chirruped hurriedly, old eyes falling on the damaged line with a worried sigh.

Rey coughed again as more of the gas filled the small area of the lower level. 

"Yes" she wheezed out as she momentarily caught her breath "Can you try reset the whole flow cycle for 15 standard ticks?"

The Wookie shook his head, a grave look in his eyes.

<Not sure that is enough time? Can make it 30 ticks?>

Rey grimaced before shaking her head slowly.

"No that won’t work ....the engine's already under stress. More than fifteen could blow the hyper drive and we'll be stuck drifting for days"

<Too dangerous to do this in such short time frame, cannot do with all other systems running. Big trouble this is>

Chewbacca argued back, knowing one misstep could blow them all to hell if they were sloppy.

Kylo remained silent behind them, mulling over the catch-22 with a frown.

"You could cut the power entirely for ten and reroute the second line safely into the fil...” he found himself suggesting.

Rey whipped around to face him, jerking back in surprise as if only just realizing he  was there too.

"Maybe we could, but then the O2 balance will be compromised " she interrupted, already anticipating his next words.

"Furthermore, the drop in pressure from a complete power shutdown, even just for 10 ticks, could be catastrophic to the ship..... and more likely to our bodies" she added darkly.

<Pressure could crush organs> Chewie agreed solemnly, his apprehension growing as the noxious gas continued to hiss out into the hold.

A dull, pounding throb began to spread through  Kylo’s head as the volume of oxygen in the air plummeted with each passing breath. A slowly increasing dizziness starting to creep into his body the longer they stood there in the eye of storm.

They had to act fast.

"What if you could hold that pressure, contain it in one small area long enough to do what you need to do, is there anything else you could try to fix the CO2 line?"  Kylo spoke again. 

"Hypothetically ..... yes. I could replace both valves without putting stress on the engines  ....but ..." Rey hesitated.

Kylo stared deeply into her eyes, dipping into her brilliant turning her mind as she ran over every step with an artist's precision.

She could do it.

"Chewie, set a 15-tick countdown for a total system reboot and then seal yourself in the airlock. The thicker walls should hold long enough until the full reset completes." Kylo said firmly.

Rey’s eyes widened in surprise, face paling in fear.

"Ben...wait...there's got to be a better way" she stuttered out.

"Can you fix it? If I manage to hold the atmosphere long enough, can you do it?" He said softly, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder gently. He wanted so badly to engulf her small, nimble hands in his and sooth her fear with his reassurance. But the act of this would prove too intimate a touch for her to allow.

Not after his previous bad behaviour.

Kylo knew this.

Rey tried not to flinch at the searing hot press of his palm on her skin. Her surprise at his attempts at comfort and encouragement, blatantly etched all over her face. 

Clearing her throat loudly she quickly neutralized her discomfort. 

"Yes" she answered him quietly, nodding slightly as she dreaded what was about to happen.

"Then I've got your back, okay?" He added with a small smile, squeezing her shoulder again. Rey blinked up at him with paling cheeks, thrown by the shape of that simple, soft expression on his face.

He’d smiled.

Kylo Ren had smiled at her.

It startled her to discover, he had boyish dimples in his cheeks when he smiled, a softness there in his gaze that transformed his whole face. And in that fleeting moment, some small, tender piece of Ben Solo shone through in that single, bright moment of clarity.

Turning back to the Wookie above them,  Kylo’s features morphed back into a blank mask as his voice spoke firmer.

"Go  Chewie , we'll handle the rest" 

Rey’s mouth twisted in discomfort, but she said nothing  further . Knowing there was no other  way to  salvage the situation.

She turned back toward the open panel in front of them as an increasingly loud deluge of gas escaped the hollow. Flooding the narrow space in steady, hissing puffs. The warning siren was now a high-pitched squeal through the freighter as it reached a crescendo, throwing off any attempts at sustained concentration with its wailing insistence.

Rey felt sick, the pain in her head pounding hard as her stomach lurched. The oxygen deprivation was really starting to get to her now.

"Here" Kylo’s muffled voice said behind her, a hand reaching forth as he handed her a breathing mask, his own already securely fastened to his face. Filters puffing in and out as he drew in great, big gulps of oxygen, his grayed condition improving with each, measure breathe.

The once blotchy, mottled skin on his face and bare chest, slowly returned to normal as the red came back into his cheeks.

Grasping the proffered mask between her shaking hands, Rey nodded her thanks with a tight smile as she held it to her mouth. 

There was high of immediate relief as the gushing gas filled her struggling lungs with pure oxygen. This invigorating elation  rolled on as she drew deep breathes, after deep breath to sooth her headache. Only realizing now, just how harsh the air in the hold had become.

Rey closed her eyes, securing the mask fully on her face as the untarnished oxygen rushed into her chest. Easing the harsh tension bound in her choked intercostal muscles. Her thoughts cleared as that initial panic abated and she steeled her nerves for what they were about to attempt. 

Her oxygen rich brain ran through each manoeuvre and micro sequence in painstaking detail.

Preparing herself.

She felt ready and sharper perhaps, but no less apprehensive. 

Opening her eyes once more, her headache gone and energy renewed, Rey was abruptly met by the dark stare of Kylo’s eyes. His expression so soft and warm, she could not reconcile it with the cutting assault he had subjected her to earlier. That abject hatred that had burned there only hours before. 

His watchful eyes held, an almost affection for her now as he remained motionless at the other end of that small, cramped space. 

Though the remainder of his face was obscured by the mask which hissed with each slow, steady breath, she was in no doubt now, there lay a small, secret smile beneath it for her.

It occurred to Rey in that silent, tense moment, those of his eyes could be the very last thing she ever saw. Rich as the finest  Chandrillian chocolate as they watched her without a word.

Rey found, despite the gravity of the situation they found themselves in, she could not think of a finer final image than his expressive eyes. 

No better image to die with than his face. Not when he looked at her like that. 

Across the small space that separated them, Kylo was forming a similar conclusion. Lost in the gentle, curiosity of those hazel irises as they stared at him. Boring down deep into the depths of his heart.

This could be it. Rey's face could be the last thing he’d ever see before death.

It was oddly bittersweet.

To know, even after every battle they’d fought against one another, they would die together as one.

Kylo licked his lips behind the thin veil of his mask, those three little words he’d desperately wanted to say to her, now sticking just on the tip of his tongue. Words he should have told her in the throne room, because there was no doubt even then, he’d felt it .

_ Love _ .

He loved her. Most ardently.

He loved her so much; he did not fear the slow encroachment of Ben Solo back into his psyche. In fact, he welcomed him like an old friend, that surety in his character a comfort amid the chaos of his life.

Kylo looked and looked again at Rey’s lovely eyes, contemplating the merit of uttering those small words that would change everything between them.

But.

He couldn’t bring himself to say it, to allow her that glimpse at his vulnerability within him

Not when he knew, she loved another.

Kylo could not weigh that heavy burden of rejection on her troubled shoulders, to leave her with the guilt of it because his feelings would remain reciprocated.

He shut his mouth once more and looked away. Convincing himself he _didn’t_ see the flash of  disappointment in her eyes when he'd purposefully glanced toward the far corridor. Fixing his gaze ahead and away from her.

Rey sighed quietly as her shoulders sagged, promising herself if fate and the Force granted her more time, she would get to the bottom of the volatile enigma that was Kylo Ren. 

She would know the secrets he left locked away behind the fire of those fine eyes.

Rey turned around to the main panel again, knowing now was not the time to be distracted by idle thought. There would be a time and place to unravel these conflicts between them, but for now, she needed to solely focus on the issue at hand.

And  _ not  _ her latent feelings toward Ben Solo, Kylo Ren or whatever the hell else he wanted to call himself right now.

This was, however, made almost completely impossible when Kylo's huge frame suddenly wrapped itself around her from behind. Caging her in against the open compartment as his bare chest pressed into her back.

"What....what are you doing?" She managed to splutter out, voice coming out in a high, tight squeak. Her body stiffened at the heat of his skin as it bled through the cotton that separated them, feeling suddenly very hot and uncomfortable as he moved closer.

"Trust me" Kylo’s deep voice rumbled, his hair tickling her ear as his head hung over her shoulder. 

"I don't...." Rey muttered back caustically, which drew an unexpectedly, light chuckle from Kylo.

"That it is ..... entirely fair given our history" he shot back with a tinge of  humor in his usually gruff tone.

His huge arms rose over her shoulders as Rey squirmed unthinkingly against him, fingers latching themselves into the deep, sharp grooves of the access panels either side of Rey's head. There was a slight pressure upon her frame from his heavy arms, his hips tilting her forward until Rey stood in the warm vee between Kylo's long legs.

"Seriously what are you doing?" Rey snapped at him, speech quivering even as she tried to convey annoyance.

I did occur to her, she could just easily push him away and force his body off her with a simple flick of her wrist. Yet, there was something darkly delicious in the way their bodies fit together, a rightness in knowing just how small she felt wrapped up by him. 

“Just trust me” Kylo repeated, his voice now barely above a whisper as it ticked the side of her face. The gentle hiss of his mask puffing harder as he added a final plea.

“.....Please”.

Rey opened her mouth to argue, bewildered by his sudden proximity even as she relaxed into his hold.

Kylo’s own mind was in overdrive, relishing the feel of her firm, toned back trailing against his chest as he readjusted his grip on the panel wall. He tried to ignore the more salacious brush of her pert bottom on his groin, as their hips melded closer, begging his cock not to react at this inopportune moment.

Her objections were sure to increase tenfold if this were to happen.

However, Rey sighed heavily as she shifted from foot to foot in awkwardness, grudgingly accepting whatever harebrained scheme he had decided upon was not worth a fight over. They had no time for debate or discord anyway.

Securing her tool belt on her hip, Rey tried her best to ignore the rise and fall of Kylo’s chest against her back. Her posture stiffening as they both heard Chewie’s strain cry of warning some distance away.

<Fifteen tic warning, be ready!>

The blare above them changed in an instant as Chewbacca’s hairy form bolted through the freighter and toward the airlock. A lower, more ominous sounding warning filled the space as a new timer started to beat. The emergency lighting kicked in after a jolt, as the full system dimmed to almost nothing.

Rey snapped a  chemlight between her hands as darkness fell, the low, blue light illuminating Kylo’s long features as she half turned to face him. Wanting one last look at those beautiful eyes before the end arrived upon them.

He smiled sadly once more behind the mask.

“You can do this Rey. I know you can.”

Her heart thundered in reply, this frisson of something indescribable shooting up her back at his words. Surprising touched by his earnestness and confidence in her.

_Gods_ how she wanted to just pull down that stupid oxygen mask and kiss him. To know what it was to taste those lips before she died.

But there was not time, no chance for anything more than a sweet smile back at him.

The ancient ship began to groan in protest as the last few seconds of the system shut down grew closer.

**_ Five _ ** .

Rey twisted back around to the coolant system without a word, shoving the lone  chemlight into the cavity before snapping another to join it. The glow of the sticks illuminated the small space in an instant and allowed Rey to see the leaking valve in sharp contrast to the dark hold.

**_ Four _ ** .

Kylo took a deep steadying breath, closing his eyes as he reached forth into Force. Stretching to find that balance he needed.

**_ Three _ ** .

Rey felt a strangely cool, but not unpleasant sensation spread over the skin as the Force began to hum visibly around her and Kylo. Feeling it move beyond them like an invisible field, shielding them against what was to come.

**_ Two. _ **

Kylo kept pushing, drawing more of that needed energy in around them as a new light he had not felt for years, engulfed them both. 

**_ One _ ** .

There was one long, unsettling and ferocious beep that blared through the silence and then the whole ship shuddered to stop.

* * *

She was floating, or at least her body was trying to float.Up and out of the lower bay as the absence of gravity made it difficult for her to stay still.

Her weightlessness could prove a serious imposition to fixing the gas leak in time should her tools fall loose. But she thankfully stayed in place, held down by nothing more than the press of Kylo’s tensing, heavy arms.

It took Rey all but half a second to realize that was why he’d crowded her in, molded his body around hers to weigh her down against the loss of gravity. 

His big feet were wedged in under the main grate just below her, as his strong thighs clamped down on her hips, keeping her body its place. Rey could see his fingers paling by her head as they held on tightly to the panels. Straining against the force of her body and his, as they fought to float aimlessly away.

Kylo’s breath was hard and fast behind her, head burying itself between her shoulder blades as he struggled to hold himself still and maintain the Force around them. Trapping the atmospheric pressure long enough to shield their vital organ until the reboot to began again.

_ Kark. _

Rey thought, snapping to attention as she realized she had wasted two ticks already staring at him like a nerfherder. 

Her hands moved quickly, simple tools like extensions of her body as she raced through each prepared step. Surprising even herself at the speed in which she removed the faulty valve, the redundant piece of machinery flying over her shoulder before a fifth tick could even beat.

Kylo was sweating now. Heavy perspiration breaking from his forehead at the effort it was taking to hold Rey down, to keep her steady long enough to finish the job. He felt dizzy, drained of energy, but he did not take a backward step.

He could not fail her.

Re-attaching the new valve in this pressing gloom proved trickier than Rey had anticipated, the final, stubborn nut not catching until the very last second. Thankfully it held as she made the final rotation, her posture relaxing and falling into Kylo as she sighed in relief.

“Done”.

Kylo’s tired arms fell away automatically in relief, as the Falcon’s system restarted, the life support sparking back into life as the freighter lit up like a beacon. However, not all the systems rebooted at the same time and Rey and Kylo soon found themselves floating upwards as they scrambled for purchase.

Totally unprepared to stop the upward motion as it twisted them off their axis and onto their backs. 

The concerned pair were soon suspended well above the ground level of the Falcon, the lower bay they had just left, an even greater distance below.

There was another low, whistle of warning and then a moment of perilous silence, before Kylo instinctively grabbed Rey. Wrapping his arms around her as he shoving his body underneath her just before a second, low whistle sounded. There was a second to breath, to think and then they plummeted to engineering bay far below them.

Gravity finally kicking in. 

Kylo’s back and head took the brunt of the blow, as they hit the floor hard. Bones and joints crunching together as his big body tried and failed to absorb the impact. Immediate pain vibrated down every synapse between them as the fall sent shockwaves through each of their jarred muscles. 

Rey was spared the worst of it, but this didn’t mean she had been immune to the impact.

Her breath was stolen, utterly winded as panicked lungs gasped for relief from the bruising ache in her chest. She collapsed against Kylo’s unmoving body, unable to rouse the strength to get up quite yet.

Wheezing underneath Rey as she groaned in agony, Kylo was almost certain he’d cracked a rib or two. Maybe even broken one, given the stabbing, crackling sensation he felt with every gulp of air.

He hoped to the Maker he hadn’t, ribs were a bitch to heal.

However he was unable ponder this mystery too long as another more imminent problem made itself known.

"Told you I had your back......" he muttered drolly before he completely passing out. Utterly concussed.

The low  _ thunk _ __ of his head against the durasteel, combined with the instant slackening of his arms around her, was enough to snap Rey’s attention back to him in a flash.

“Kylo....” she whispered, tapping his face gently.

“Kylo?”

Rey pressed on his chest, shaking him more insistently as she tried to wake him. It was no  use; he was out cold.

<What Sunshine  do to Boy?> Chewbacca teased as his shaggy, friendly face popped out over the lip of the pit. The stress and concern gone from his eyes as he looked at Rey proudly. 

Whether it was for the successful valve replacement she had performed despite the difficulties, or the fact he now believed she had knocked Kylo clean out on his ass, she was not entirely sure what had made the Wookie so happy!

“I didn’t do anything” she grumbled back, finding her way to her feet as she glared back up at the Wookie.

“The damn gravity drive had a delayed reboot and we fell down the bay pit”.

<So....you not punch Boy for his stupid mouth earlier? Pity>

Chewie laughed as Rey smirked despite herself.

“No. ..I did not punch him. The floor did”

Staring down at Ben’s supine body, she was mollified by the even rise and fall of his breathing. The low groan that escaped his mouth as his eyelids fluttered, telling her his head injury was far from life threatening.

She leaned down and gently removed his redundant oxygen mask before slipping her own off with a sigh.

“Can you come help me lift him out?” Rey asked with a tired exhale, Chewie’s huge body leaping into the bay before she’d even finished the question. He grabbed Kylo in one arm, hoisting him up and over his broad shoulder as he made his way to the ladder.

<Boy way heavier than Chewbacca remember. Tell him he should go on diet> he joked,  rising up the rungs as Rey snorted behind him.

“I tell him. Don’t worry, I’ll tell him.”.

* * *

Laying him down in the Captain’s bunk, Chewie soon retrieved a fresh batch of  bacta patches to wrap carefully around Kylo’s head and torso. 

The senseless patient moaned feebly in protest at their prodding, his glazed eyes cracking open before he fell back into an unconsciousness stupor with the help of Rey’s influence.

<Sunshine need any?> Chewie said kindly, offering the  bacta to Rey with low chirrup.

“No....no, I’m fine. Ben got the worst of it.” Rey mumbled quietly, gaze shifting back to the unconscious man in front of her. A look of concern and almost guilt flashed in her eyes as she looked at him.

“He.....he sheltered me when we fell.” Rey added after a long moment, reaching forward and brushing some of the damp, dark matted mess of his hair away from his face. Not caring one bit that Chewie had witnessed this moment of tenderness from her.

The Wookie nodded in reply, gaze thoughtful as he mulled over something in his old, wise head.

<Sunshine call Boy old name. Same name Princess gave him.>

Rey looked at him with a guarded expression, her hand still gently running through Ben’s wavy, unkempt hair as she met his curious gaze.

“Yes, I do.....do you think I shouldn’t?” she replied carefully, a defensive flicker of indignation finding its way into her voice. The Wookie chuckled softly, shaking his head as a new hopeful smile spread on his hairy cheeks.

<It is not Chewbacca’s business to decide that.....only Boy and Sunshine.>

Rey’s posture relaxed a little, her gaze softening as she looked at her friend.

<For what it worth ....Chewbacca think Boy likes it>

The old Wookie chuckled as he rose to his feet, old bones cracking as he stretches his arms wide. Rey’s cheeks flushed pink as a small smile fought its way to her lips.

“I think he does too” she said quietly, turning back to Ben with a soft, contented sigh.

<Sunshine want to go back to cabin and sleep? Chewbacca  not mind keeping an eye on Boy.>

Rey shook her head slowly.

“No....I think I’d like to stay with him a while longer.”

Chewbacca smiled at her and with that returning look of hope in his eyes, it did not escape Rey’s attention this time.

“What? What is it?” she asked touchily, her blush deepening.

<Nothing.... absolutely nothing > Chewie replied warmly, walking out the door and leaving those troublesome children in peace.

A pleasant excitement brewing in his great chest.

Perhaps Ben Solo would come home one day after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featured in our next few episodes:  
> -Ben confronts Rey.  
> -Rey gets mad at him for spying on her.  
> -Kisses and possibly more.  
> -Heart to hearts.


	4. I can't stop this feeling I've got

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo make up and Rey helps Chewie with the Falcon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends,
> 
> So while I emotionally recover from my other WIP which, for those who've read it, was intense AF, it's time to update this bad boy of a short (ish) fic and engage in some fluff. The chapter did not quite go to plan and has started to meander way past the word count I want, so you get two chapters over the next week instead!
> 
> For those who want some action between these two idiots, you will need to wait until chapter 5! But it means you'll get smuttier content :)
> 
> I have fun writing this work, so I hope it shows.
> 
> Please send me comments and kudos if you enjoy this silly little tale of mine :)
> 
> See you all soon!  
> -RedCatRen

_ Gods does his head hurt. _

This was the first thought that entered  Kylo Ren's  mind as he finally came to, an unrelenting pounding thundering through his  temples .

Though it was regrettably true he ’d had head injuries before, various crippling blows to the face that had made him forget his whole damn existence, nothing compared quite to this. 

This fog that clouded his brain and overran his senses, it was like swimming through  a thick syrup of confusion.

Sticky and slow as it pulled him down, setting an opaque veil over his vision which  let in the texture and ligh t, but allowed no features to guide him.

_ Maker above did it ache. _

The second thought that struck  Kylo in these moments of waning clarity, was he had little  clue where the heck he was!

His current location was an unnerving mystery to him. He tried to remember, straining his recall against the ache in his head.

_Floating_.

The thought hit him hard!

_I was floating._

The last thing he could remember was  floating in the hold.

_ The Falcon. _

He was on the Falcon.

Kylo relaxed a little as the realization washed over him like a cool balm. Dulling the pain for a breath.

Cracking open his uncertain, under strength eyes, the gloomy sight of the cabin shimmered before him. A jolt of nausea filling him as the room began to spin.

Kriff this was not good.

He definitely had a concussion.

Quickly closing them again, he took a deep, calming breath to stop the swift and  rising  urge to vomit. The pain and spinning motion in his head  abated with these small actions ,  relief  found as he screwed his eyes closed tighter.

Kylo sighed in resignation, he sunk lower into the  marshmallowy collection of stacked pillows under his throbbing head.

Quietly thankful the bunk was surprisingly comfortable below  him. Even more so grateful when he realized  he had little, to no pressing need to move anytime soon.

Kylo wagered it would be at least another twelve hours before they reached  Exegol ,  judging by the sluggish buzz of the freighter's engines anyway. 

It was clear they hadn't made the second ju mp though hyperspace  yet. 

Therefore h e had time to recover a little, to relax and let the  bacta do its work.

The third and final thought that struck him as he let himself sink into the softness of  his  bunk , _ was he was not alone. _

There was a mass of warmth pressed into his side, a small body huddled closely against his torso on the right hand side as it lay there in a ball.

_ Rey _ .

Kylo bolted up in amazement as his addled mind caught up with him, the gentle shuffling of her limbs against his hip making him jump in surprise.

Kylo grunted in pain, his injured ribs aching at the sudden jerk forward of his body and yet, he choose to ignore it completely. Attentions instantly absorbed instead by the peacefully, sleeping girl he found in his bunk.

He forced his eyes to stay open as his vision swum in and out of focus, looking down at Rey's lovely dreaming face in awe. She lay with her back against him, body curled protective around itself as her legs drew up towards her stomach. 

Peacefully facing the narrow gap between the bunks, she was completely unaware her bed mate had awoken so abruptly.

An unbidden warmth spread through  Kylo's chest as he looked down at her, gaze softening as his shock subsided. 

It occurred to him quite startlingly, Rey had stayed with him while he recovered. She had willingly watched over him for hours until her own exhaustion had gotten the best of her.

It made him feel ..... _glad_.

Hopeful he still had a chance.

For clearly on some level, this scavenger girl of his still cared for him in some way. _Why else would she be here?_

Rey seemed to sense his eyes on her, that old, beaten in survival instinct from  Jakku,  pulling her out of her trouble-less sleep with a shaking breath. She turned slowly on the mattress, blinking up at him bleary eyes .

There was a look of bewilderment in her waking stare, brow set in a heavy frown as she tried to figure out what was happening.  Kylo looked back at her blankly, unable to form any intelligible words in his bone dry mouth beyond a perfunctory  _ 'Hi' _ .

Rey ’ s cheeks flushed as mind head finally caught up with her head, the implication of sharing a bed in such a  state of undress, not completely lost on her.

"Hi" she mumbled back meekly. 

_Maker did she need to get out of this room!_

Sitting up, she tried to push past the immediate rush of awkward embarrassment that washed over her .

Rey had fully intended to leave before  Kylo woke, but the longer she had sat there watching him, the harder it had been to move. She had been tired, a lingering exhaustion overcoming her efforts to fight the drowsiness. The bunk had been just too comfortable to ignore.

And coupled by the sight of  Kylo's broad  bare chest, which had incidentally supplied such soothing warmth, she couldn't resist and help but curl up beside him. To give into that intoxicating craving to close her eyes, just for a moment. 

And now, well, she would have to deal with the consequences of those decisions.

Perhaps it would be better to just brush past it and ignore the obvious, especially when  Kylo was looking at her like that.

"How are you feeling?" Rey managed to force out, her voice husky and thick from sleep.

Kylo blinked back at her rapidly, his expression puzzled. Clearing his  throat, he let his gaze drop for a moment, increasingly aware he was staring at her like an idiot.

He shrugged, not knowing how else to feign nonchalance he needed, when it was painfully obvious, he was far from calm right now!

"I'm fine, just a little sore" he rumbled back, lifting his eyes to meet her dark and inscrutable stare .

Licking her lips, Rey nodded as a frown filled her face.

" I’m not surprised, that was quite a blow to the face you took".

"Just as well I have a hard head then"  Kylo shot back with a smirk, his attempts at  humour falling flat as Rey looked back at him blankly.

"You didn't have to do that you know, protecting me like a child" her voice was sour, a twisting indignation masking the hurt she truly felt. 

Because she couldn't help the guilt that shot through her when she looked at him. She couldn't stop the concern she felt for him from overtaking her good senses. 

Rey needed to get out, to leave before her heart was very blatantly on her sleeve.

"I wanted to do it"  Kylo replied  gruffly "there was little point in both of us getting hurt".

The soft look on his face tightened as he began to glower at her.

Rey scowled back.

"As noble as that us, I could have just used the Force, I  didn’t need your help ....you didn't..." Rey paused, conscious her temper was starting to run away from her. She wasn't even sure why she was getting so mad.

Closing her  eyes she took a deep breathe. Calming that fire that had sparked beneath her skin.

Kylo's jaw was twitching in irritation when she met his eyes once more. He said nothing in return, chewing instead on his discontent as he waited patiently for her to continue. He was grudgingly aware, he still deserved her acrid ire on some level after the things he'd said.

Rey ’ s expression relaxed a little, her bad  humour dying away a little.

" It’s not that I'm not grateful for what you did, I am. But my safety.......it's not your responsibility. You  don't need to put yourself into harm's way just to keep me from getting hurt."

Kylo nodded after a long moment, his gaze dropping again as he kept his mouth shut. There was no sense in arguing with her, Rey had always been so stubbornly  self-reliant .

He huffed audibly in discontent, letting his body drop back into the soft comfort of the bunk as he stared up at her.

Defeated.

There was an uneasy silence between them now.

Rey’s eyes traced the sticky edge of  Kylo's bacta patch as it rose and fell against his chest, trying and failing to ignore the flutter of something illicit from deep within her core as she took in his unfettered form. 

She cleared her throat awkwardly before looking pointedly at her open hands.

Why'd he  have to be so damn alluring even as he sulked like an adolescent?

If he noticed her fluster,  Kylo certainly didn't let it show. Grimace a dark shadow on his face as he looked up at her.

"I'd better go,  Chewie will probably need help soon " Rey muttered quietly, keen to put some space between her and  Kylo’s curious eyes. She  willfully ignored the crumpling of his expression, his disappointment a sorrowful frown on his face.

Rey shifted toward the edge of the bunk, her long, lean legs swinging over the side before she could lose her nerve.

She had to get away.

There was a beat of indecision and then  Kylo's big hand unexpectedly shot out to grasp her wrist. Rey shuddered, her head whipping around to face him as she felt his fingers close over her hand. Blindsided by the sudden heat of his skin on hers, the calloused pads on each long digit a tortuous pleasure for her.

" ....I. ... hmmh " he began, cheeks flushing attractively as he stuttered under the heavy, confused gaze of her eyes.

" I just wanted to say ....that ... ehmm "

Maker why was it so hard to get the words out. 

Rey blinked back at him, her breath quickening as time slipped by. Kylo’s hand slipped from her wrist, much to her disappointment, huge fingers latching onto the loose cotton sheet of the bunk with a sigh. He plucked at the cloth for a moment, trying to steel his nerves.

"I....want to thank you...for watching over me" he mumbled quietly "and I....wanted to say ....I'm sorry...about before."

An almost tenderness filled  Rey's face at this, a ghost of a smile making a fleeting appearance. 

"I know, you  apologized already" she teased back gently.  Kylo Ren's brow furrowed deeper, head hanging low before he inched closer.

"It's not enough" he muttered back bitterly, still so angry with himself he could hardly take it.

“ what I said ….. it was coarse and….so far  from  the truth , of what I really think of  you.”

Rey's breath quickened, her head bowed low as she looked  up  at Ben through the dark hairs of  her lashes. Expression  almost  coy when coupled with the small smirk that accompanied it.

“What is it  then  Mr Ren, you really think of me ?"

There was a huskiness to her voice  in that leading question, a tone to it  that made something within him quiver.  Despite his very limited experience with women, there was a part of him that saw this behavior for what it was. A behavior Rey had never shown before when it came to him.

It was almost,  _ flirtatious _ .  This challenge she asked of him. 

Kylo let out a sharp, short exhale of air  in reply. A sound that resonated with  Rey , in some small, hopeful part of her,  like the beginnings of  an unexpected chuckle.

“Well for starters ….I think you are perhaps.... the most stubborn person I have ever known......” he replied sardonically, the cutting quip escaping his mouth without much forward thought or seeming control.  Kylo choked on his next breath, flushing profusely as he  realised the mistake. Rey’s less than pleased expression in reply told him, perhaps, that had not the best line of conversation to pursue.

“...I mean...I...” he stammered, cursing his big, stupid mouth “that’s not what I meant”

Rey arched a skeptical eyebrow at him, her face not one it amused.

“Oh really?”

_Kriff it!_

“No I....” he began again, chewing on his lip “I think...”

Maker why was it suddenly so hard to speak to her and say what he meant!

“I think you’re brave...” he forced out tightly, the softening words uttered quickly and without inflection. Rey’s expression lightened considerably as her curious eyes studied his downcast face. The hazel of them tracing the tight knot of his brow and jaw, trailing back toward his bright eyes with a slow exhale.

“Brave?”

“Yes” he mumbled back, his posture straightening as Rey continued to stare “and loyal. I think you’re loyal”

Kylo didn’t dare look at her, fearing his new confidence would desert him the minute their eyes locked again. He dreaded the thought of tripping himself up once more with that thoughtless, idiotic mouth of his. Out the corner of his eye, he saw Rey swallow deeply and shift a little closer to him. Her small, tawny hand coming to rest against his as the space between them shrunk.

“You think I’m loyal?” she asked quietly as her face drew closer.

The short, warm puffs of her breath made  Kylo shiver as it fanned across his face and chest.

“Yes, you’re loyal....to a fault unfortunately” he smirked to himself, his little finger brushing delicately upon hers as he stared at his hands. He tried not to reflect long upon the day in the red throne room, as the memory assaulted his thoughts. To dwell upon the hurt her tested allegiance had caused him when she'd chosen her friends.

Yes, Rey was loyal to a fault .

Kylo knew she felt it to, the bitterness behind the virtue he celebrated within her.

But she did not remark upon it or even try to acknowledge it in anyway.

“What else?” Rey asked quietly, dropping her gaze like Kylo, to watch their hands with sudden interest. Observing with heated, hastened breath as their fingers started to  entwine themselves like the searching roots of ivy, moving together as if touching of their own accord.

“I think you’re kind”  Kylo whispered, his heart starting to thud in earnest in his chest as he finally dared to look at her “I think you’re ..... clever...and...”

_ Beautiful. _

The unsaid word stuck on his tongue like hot glue, jamming his mouth into awkward forms as he cleared his throat awkwardly. Rey was so close now, so close he could see the ring of olive green that framed each onyx  coloured pupil.

_ I think you are beautiful. _

_ And I think..... I have fallen recklessly, hopelessly in love with you. _

He blinked at her as his nervousness rose and fell within his chest, making him feel lightheaded and gasping for air. Rey could not hear these traitorous thoughts escape his mind, Kylo's desperate defenses holding against the heartbreaking embarrassment that would inevitably follow with her rejection.

But God’s did he want to kiss her.

Rey’s own pulse thundered in her veins as she looked at him, watching wordlessly as his turbulent emotions fluttered across his face. The muscles of his jaw twitched repeatedly as he seemed to search her face for something only he knew to look for. Those warm, honey eyes of his peering right into the heart of her, holding her steady and bewitching her senses.

There was a tension forming in that small space between them now, growing taut and unyielding as his unfinished epithet hung in the air. She wondered almost absentmindedly what he’d wanted to say, too wrapped up in his probing stare to allow much thought or time to it.

Kylo had already said more than enough to set her heart aflame, her ego one part flattered and one part blissful at his praise. He thought her loyal, he thought her brave and kind.

_And clever._

She thought him brave too.

For what other word was there for him,but brave, when he was set to defy the dark against his better instincts. To take the difficult path of resistance against  Palpatine and align himself with his mother’s cause and defense of the light. He was brave to lead his army against the dark, knowing his peers and subordinated would publicly bay for his blood. 

In the end it seemed, he knew the real difference between what was right and what was wrong. 

No matter the cost.

Kylo’s breath grew shallower and hot against her skin as he drew even closer, pulled forth by some great unseen force that willed him on. Rey couldn’t breathe as his fingers came to rest just under her chin, angling her blushing face upwards with a shaking touch. The intimacy of it striking her hard and true as his eyes flit to her mouth.

It was Ben Solo’s gentle soul she saw in those bright eyes when their gaze met once more in an unsure, but burning stare. The sight of this true man which lay underneath, filled her heart with such hope and wonder, a new desire flared in her core.

“Rey?” he whispered heavily, swallowing loudly as his voice shook with unexpected emotion.

She didn’t answer, her throat too tight and mind too frazzled to form words. Her eyes dropped and focused on his mouth, taking in the pink, plump softness of Ben’s lips as the air escaped in short, loud bursts. Wondering how the flushed , full skin of them would feel pressed against her own.

Without much further pause of indecision Rey leant forward, her eyes starting to drift closed before a loud, shrill noise interrupted the moment. Tearing them both from the heated, desirous bubble they had found themselves in.

A surprised gasp surged from Rey’s mouth as it hovered tantalizing close to his, a second or two from touching that hallowed ground she longed for.

She quickly pulled away, leaping cruelly back from Ben as though reality had finally caught back up with her. The intervening alarm grew louder as it thrilled insistently in the quiet, awkwardness stuffiness of their cabin, masking the sound of their own labored breathes and sighs of disappointment. 

Rey’s face was now utterly crimson as Ben’s heavy gaze fixed upon her with a childish pout, her high chest rising up and down in a staccato rhythm as she stared back at him with startled eyes.

Whatever confidence she’d found earlier, was now gone without a trace.

_Karking hell, she’d nearly kissed him!_

She had to leave. 

Deciding in an instant, she would rather run away like a coward than face the shrouded unknowns that lay in the complex man sat only a few feet from her. It terrified her, this feeling that had welled up inside of her. This total lack of control over her emotions.

_She had to leave._

Ben looked utterly crushed when she  quickly  turned her face away, expression stormy as she rose to her feet with little hesitancy or consideration for his feelings. 

Knowing in her heart she was rejecting him all over again.

“I’d better go see what  that noise about” Rey mumbled hurriedly, rushing out of the room without a second thought or backward look. 

Ben’s dejected eyes darkened once more, the bitter guise of  Kylo Ren falling back over his sour features as he watched her leave .

Maker above did he  _ hate  _ this  karking freighter!

* * *

Chewie seemed to wrangled everything under control by the time Rey rounded the corner to investigate the din. His great, big hairy paws buried in among the  messy  jungle of wires that made up the Falcon’s central lighting system. The blaring alarm droned to a stop as he pulled out a smoldering, ruined and oddly misshapen breaker panel with a grunt. He mumbled to himself unhappily as he sniffed at the slightly smoking panel before throwing it over his shoulder with an annoyed gurgle.

Rey was in no doubt he’d crumpled the malfunctioning part himself in some bout of impatient exasperation, there was no way the  sturdy, solid  board had gotten that warped  all  by itself !

“Loading bay lights gone again?” Rey asked with a knowing grin, her smile broadening when the gigantic Wookie jumped with fright.  Chewie harrumphed loudly at her for sneaking up on him, old eyes less than pleased by her attempts to scare him. He shifted onto his knees again as he turned away from her and returned to his work.

<No, this time fresher> he answered gruffly, searching around in the mess of spare parts at his feet . Determined to find anything , even ill-fitting, to patch the repair. Rey leaned against the doorway, watching him scour the impossible pile unsuccessfully with growing frustration. Her lips curled up into an unbidden smirk as he threw his paws up in defeat,

Chewie growled tiredly,  shifting back onto his heels as his  paws  skimmed over the  last  clutches of scrap metal with little enthusiasm. Perhaps it was a lost cause,  he thought,  the last  working  panel had been a fluke  to  find in the first place! Raising his great head up from the untidy floor, he met her bemused smile with a cheerless sigh.

<Why Sunshine up anyway? Girl should be still sat fussing over Boy> Chewbacca teased mercilessly, a playful glint in his old eyes . Rey  scoffed and rolled  her eyes at him as  she  crossed her arms across her chest with a pout .

“I was not fus sing" she  replied sourly, leveling  Chewie a  grumpy glare as she moved away from the door. She huffed again before  slowly stooping down to  pull the much - needed replacement panel out of the  impossible  mire with  ease.

“I was just ensuring our mission wasn't _entirely_ compromised” She grumble d  back, shoving the breaker panel into  Chewie’s chest with little force. The Wookie chuckled amiably ; entirely certain she  had  protested a little to hotly to his gentle ribbing. 

There was a creeping red  now  filling her  freckled cheeks as her eyes darted from his  with a look of discomfort,  and  Chewie knew without a doubt . 

Rey was blushing profusely despite her lame attempts to hide it.

< If say so > he chuckled softly ,  leaning down to pick up his tools and  start the essential repairs without a further word.

“Yes , I do say so" Rey huffed back,  handing  Chewie another wrench as his brow split in  concentration.  The Wookie grunted back his thanks,  no longer paying Rey much attention now .  With this old freighter, the job of reattaching every loose but important wire was a slow and complicated task and  Chewie was more than keen to finish as soon as possible.

Rey sat and watched him work for a moment, utterly absorbed by the finesse and skill he showed with such cumbersome, huge paws. The electrical refit was a delicate and  labour intensive chore Rey had failed many times, and as such, it was refreshing to watch the old Wookie perform it so effortlessly.

<How is Boy?> Chewie chirruped as he handed Rey a used set of worn pliers, swapping it for a soldering iron with a low grunt when Rey was less than forthcoming.

Rey shrugged as she played with the tool between her fingers, picking at the cracked rubber casing with a frown.

“He seems fine, clearly the fall wasn’t as bad as I thought”.

Chewie chuckled lightly, his clear blue eyes chancing a look at Rey before he snorted to himself in amusement.

<Not hard enough to knock some sense into Boy then?>

Rey huffed back in a light chuckle, her smirk returning as she let her guard down a little.

“It doesn’t seem so” she replied mordantly, hazel eyes lighting with  humour .

<Boy say sorry at least?>

The Wookie stopped what he was doing to look his charge with interest, his serious question hanging in the air.

Rey’s expression twisted in discomfort, but she eventually nodded at her friend after a long moment.

“Yeah...yeah he did”

Her voice was quiet and almost bitter for the lost moment she had run from. 

Maker, why had she gotten so spooked!

Chewie stared at her wordlessly, gaze curious as he watched Rey’s troubled face turn to neutral under his watch. He shrugged after a long sigh and set to finishing the last section with a low grunt.

Reluctant to pry too deeply into these half-pups' affairs, lest he heard anything that would irk him further. 

They lapsed into comfortable silence, time passing quickly in those quiet moments between, as Rey lost herself to her thoughts. Nothing but the low buzz and hiss of the solder to break the tranquil pause.

The small space of the control bay filled with the scent of charred metal and melted plastic as the hot tip of the solder met the circuit board. It was oddly comforting, that scent, reminiscent in some way of the burned-out husks of the Empire Rey had traversed as a child. Those hollowed out remnants of great metal beasts, drifting to nothing in the hot sands of  Jakku .

It was achingly familiar

<Finished!> Chewie barked happily, drawing Rey out of her reflections with a jolt of surprise. His booming gurgle startling her after the stillness of before. She schooled her features into a smile and gave him an enthused high five when he unexpectedly offered her his paw.

She was just about to congratulate him, when a fumbling, screech of rubber boots interrupted the moment of triumph. The unwelcome guest stumbling into the bay with loud, thudding steps.

Kylo’s dark hair was uncharacteristically askew when he appeared from behind the open doorway with a concerned frown. Handsome face framed like by wild waves and curls as he looked between Rey and  Chewie with a frantic exhale. He was slightly out of breath from the sudden sprint he’d made to get there.

In the time since she had left him,  Kylo had partially re-dressed. The  bacta patch on his chest and forehead gone and bare torso now covered by the soft cotton material of his dark-grey, over large undershirt. The look was startling sweet on him.

The sight of his too big sweatshirt falling to his mid-thigh, coupled with his messy hair, was oddly endearing to Rey. She tried to shake herself free from the immediate feeling of fondness and warmth that spreads through her. Fully intent, but ultimately completely failing at being level-headed and unsentimental around him.

Chewie stared back at  Kylo with growing suspicion, his gurgle of wary  curiosity interrupted by  Kylo’s sudden urge to speak.

“So ….The fresher is on fire” he stated simply, face paling as  Chewie growled in frustration “And I don’t mean just a little bit”

The whole wall shook as the irate Wookie slammed his hairy fist against the panel, cursing the Falcon for its piss-poor timing

<Guess job not finished, stupid old ship> he grumbled, shuffling quickly after Ben and Rey as they both instantly bolted toward the next disaster. 

Rey felt the licking flames before she saw them, a sudden rush of heat hitting her squarely in the face as she followed  Kylo’s long strides across the Falcon. Finding, true enough to  Kylo’s words, the damn Fresher was burning worse than Finn’s attempts at cooking. Dark plumes of thick smoke flooded out from the open door like water from a jug, quickly filling the corridors with a  swelting haze. 

Inside the fresher, Rey could just about make out the sparking, blue flashes of the faulty light fixtures through the smoke. Obviously,  Chewie’s new botched repair had been even less successful than they had originally anticipated. Old wiring wreaking havoc now it had been ever so slightly disturbed. 

The Falcon was a bloody death trap at times!

“Maker, what the hell is burning?” Rey spluttered out, a deep cough leaving her mouth as the acrid taste of burnt plastic filled her nose and throat. 

“I think a stray spark lit the cotton towels and it just went from there”  Kylo responded tightly, covering his nose with the loose material of his sweater. His eyes began to stream from the smoke, making it harder for him to see through the hot fog wrapping its way around them. Not knowing how they were going to stop this from becoming an unmitigated disaster.

Thankfully  Chewie was more than ready to fight the growing blaze with little fuss, forty years’ experience of flying the tempestuous Falcon preparing him for almost all eventualities. He strode up behind the hunched figures of  Kylo and Rey with a deep sigh, casually tossing a live paint bomb into the open flames and closing the sliding doors with quick slam of his paw.

There was a short lull before the floor shook slightly with the force of the bang that erupted the far side of the metal doors. The soft pitter-patter of rapid splatters quickly followed, a low of hiss of dying flame heard amid the heavy, wet quenching the of the fire. The blaze crackled in defeat as the explosion snuffed out the danger in swift, pragmatic fashion.

Kylo and Rey stared at  Chewie slightly agog, bemused by his seeming nonchalance to the whole situation. He grunted at them in response, hunching his shoulders in a shallow shrug before walking unbothered toward the electrical bay. Rey blinked rapidly as she tracked his movements, watching with complete bewilderment as he made his way slowly away.

<Chewbacca disconnect breaker again and pups check fresher, see  if can be cleaned..... or no one going to be pissing comfortably for long time> he stated plainly, his great, hirsute frame moving quickly out of sight as he continued down the corridor.

Utterly unperturbed by the fading emergency.

“Well ..... that was not quite what I was expecting” Rey snorted, catching  Kylo’s amused look as he smirked lightly back at her.

“And yet, I am not entirely surprised” he shot back, plush lips rising further in the ghost of a smile. Rey snorted again, dipping her head low as she hid the broad grin that spread on her face. She couldn’t help it, there was an unpredictable flutter of butterflies now that filled her gut when she saw his unexpectedly goofy smile. It was sickeningly adorable and almost unfair to know what those dimples could do to his morose face.

Gods he was handsome. 

Kylo watched the bashful smile flash on her lovely features, saying nothing as Rey moved passed him to prize the fresher door open again.

“Maker ….I think I’d rather piss out the airlock than try fix this" he mused dryly upon seeing the mess they found inside the small washroom. The worst of the smoke was starting to disperse now, the ancient overhead filtration fans for once doing their job. What little light there was inside, quickly spluttered to an inky black as the lights swiftly died.  Chewie's damage control no doubt the cause of the darkness.

Rey flicked on a small flashlight, searching the still slightly smoldering fresher with a deep sigh. Her feet squelched obscenely through the thick wet paint on the  durasteel floor as she stepped further into the  devasted room, her bare feet sticky and cold from the mess that covered her skin.

The sonic shower was remarkably well intact despite the heat it had endured, little damage found inside the stall with exception of some minor scorch marks and the bright yellow paint that had burst from the bomb. Rey was relieved to find the toilet was in a similar state, main bowl splattered here and there by the yellow stain, but very much salvageable with a little elbow grease and hard work. 

The sink, however, was a mess of melted plastic and twisted, blacked pipes. The remnants of their old, scratchy towels nothing more than ash upon the floor under the once round edge of the destroyed basin.

“What’s the prognosis?”  Kylo said lowly, voice suddenly very close behind her as he squinted in the dark. Rey tried her best to ignore the shiver that rippled down her spine when she felt his body heat at her back.

“I mean, I’ve seen worse” she muttered back drolly, arching the flashlight slowly around the room to let  Kylo see better.

“I’ve also seen better” he quipped back, wry smile on his face as their gazes meet.

“How do you propose we get the paint off?” he added a little more humorlessly, shifting his feet passively in the cold, thickening emulsion as it stained his black, rubber soled boots with each shuffle of his body.

Rey gave the ruined fresher a final once over, sighing heavily as she let the flashlight drop lower in her hand.

“Truthfully, I don’t think we have the supplies to fix this mess ..... we’ll have to wait till we hit an outpost on the way back”

Kylo had an odd, pained look on his face when she glanced back at him in the dark.

_ The way back. _

He was not certain they would make it past the first minute on  Exegol against Palpatine , let alone risking an impromptu rest stop in the bad lands of the Outer Rim. But it was nice to plan that far ahead, even if  their  chances of survival were less than one in a hundred.

“What?” Rey asked warily, registering the sober set on his features but not quite reading his train of thought.  Kylo blinked back at her like a deer caught in headlights, chewing on his lip as he shook his head.

“Nothing....it’s nothing.”

He backed out of the fresher and ambled back toward the main hold without another word

Rey opened her mouth to interject, her brow heavily with suspicion as she followed him, but it was  Chewie’s hairy face she met instead as she rounded the first corner.

<On scale of  nerf poodoo to big  bantha poodoo , how bad is fresher” he grunted with trepidation.

Rey smirked as she handed Chewbacca the flashlight.

“Definite  bantha poodoo ” she laughed as he groaned louder.

< Kark it! Stupid ship> he growled with frustration, clutching the flashlight tighter and marching off toward the fresher with a scowl. Rey snorted despite herself, her moment of levity fading as she looked down at her feet and saw just how caked her ankles and toes had become in the paint. Each digit now a dirty flaxen  colour as it smeared itself over her nails and across her skin.

“Great” she muttered tiredly, wandering her way back to the hold in search of something, anything, to clean this mess now the fresher was out of bounds.

Hoping, perhaps, she would meet Ben Solo along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 will included kisses, confessions and some adult activities between our two awkward protagonists.
> 
> The fluff will be strong with this one!


	5. Dancing on my Own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo reach breaking point and honest confessions change everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all,
> 
> Here is chapter 5! We don't have much left of this fic :)  
> Which is good as I am soooooo behind on my other WIP (naughty me).  
> Anyway... this chapter was supposed to have more light smut in it, but then it started getting too long.
> 
> I think I have chronic problem of writing overlong chapters! Anyway....chapter 6 will have some more adult action and more than likely will have the epilogue.
> 
> I am sorry this chapter has been delayed, my writing has been somewhat disturbed by the heatwave we are having here and as my house has NO aircon, it's been hard to write!
> 
> I hope you enjoy chapter 5, it's a fluffy, minorly angsty ride and Benny boy is extra cute :)
> 
> Thanks for all the KUDOS and comments, they have been lovely, I hope you like the ending!
> 
> Love,  
> RedCatRen

In the middle of the room,  Kylo’s keen eyes scanned the familiar, shabby interior of his father’s ship. Trying with all his might to remember the location of that small, secret hatch Han Solo had shown him some twenty years before.

There, within a discrete and hidden spot, lay an old, foul tasting bottle of  Corellian moonshine his father had long ago repurposed for a great number of things. 

None of which had ever been drinking the damn thing! 

As Ben recalled, his father had told his impressionable ten-year-old son, the putrid, burning liquid tasted closer to old engine oil than actual alcohol. 

Han Solo had always kept a secret personal supply of vintage, Chandrilan whiskey anyway, should he ever crave the pleasure of a stiff drink upon his travels

Kylo wagered as he perused the room, the old, foul moonshine was just the thing to clean his boots. It's overly acidic contents, a perfect paint stripper in his hour of need.

Tracing the tattered, ill-fitting panels once more, he gleefully spotted what he was looking for. 

One  metal plate was discoloured and faded along the edges, the scratchy, uneven metal smoothed by fingertips and bearing the marks of repeated removals. The mismatched tile came free all too easily as he pulled upon it, the hollow behind a surprisingly deep and delightful treasure trove.

Kylo couldn’t help but smile as his eyes ran over the contents of his father’s small hidey hole, bittersweet memories flowing over him in unexpected waves. 

The all-purpose moonshine was quickly found among the mess of sentimental belongings he discovered , there nestled in against this glut trinkets. 

Items of his fathers past that had lain unloved and undisturbed for many years. 

Forgotten.

However, it was the sight of his navy childhood sweater that stoked his interest most. The soft and well washed knit, warm against his skin as he drew it to his nose.

It still smelt of his mother's perfume.

“What are you doing?” Rey said suddenly behind him, making  Kylo jump and drop the small  woollen sweatshirt with a low gasp of surprise. He cleared his throat in slight embarrassment as he tried to recover his dignity.

“Nothing, just looking for something”

He stooped down to pick up the lost item of clothing before reaching into the cavity to retrieve the moonshine with a slight blush. Placing the sweater back, he paused for a moment, hand ghosting over the  Chandri lian whiskey with a light brush of his fingers.

He sighed heavily as he felt Rey’s eyes on him, watching with burning curiosity as he pulled the half empty bottle of amber moonshine out of the wall. Rey was intrigued by the revelation, utterly unaware of this hollow’s existence until now.

“Wow ..... are you planning a wild  pre-battle party or something?” she teased, nodding toward dusty bottle cradled in his hand with a pointed look.  She was mildly taken aback by his  brazen attitude , particularly as they had less than eleven hours until  the Falcon hit planet side.

“No”  Kylo rumbled back quietly “It’s for the paint”

“Right” Rey replied carefully, feeling utterly stupid as her cheeks flushed attractively in embarrassment.

Kylo walked past her without any further preamble, placing the lone bottle on the  holochess table with  an unfriendly grunt. His head turned to stare back at her with an unexpected scowl, seeming to anticipate her next move with a bewildering nervousness all of a sudden.

Rey was a little  disconcerted by his standoffish behavior , but  she was quietly hopefully he would share the find with her.  The yellow, sticky paint  on her feet  was really starting to itch  now, her skin  prickly and hot .

She shrugged as she broke their stilted eye contact, turning her attention instead toward the open gap in the wall with growing interest.

“What else is in here? I didn’t even know we had a secret compartment” she mumbled brightly, childishly excited by  this new discovery.

“Nothing much”  Kylo replied  blandly, skulking softly to the other end of the hold  in search of a stray rag or two to start the clean - up.

“It’s just junk.”

Rey hummed to herself, ignoring his pronouncements as she searched her way through the  bonanza he considered  _ junk _ . The reasoning for his cagey behavior becoming more and more apparent the longer she drove through this cave of lost things .

Among the hidden cache of  G alactic credits, the fake identification papers and  the secret stash of , no doubt , _ stolen _ , high end  whiskeys , lay a small collection of baby toys and clothes. 

_Ben’s clothes._

Han had kept them . Every last one , even after all this time.

Rey picked up a pair of light blue socks, the soft, woollen set barely the width of her palm as they lay snugly against it.

It astonished her in that moment, to imagine how _such_ a tiny pair of socks had fit on the giant of a man she now knew. 

It baffled her to think of him so small. So vulnerable and free from the pains to which he later become so accustomed.

_ Baby Ben _ , how sweet he must have been.

Kylo was quiet behind her, diligently scrubbing at his boots with little pause as they lay upon the table. His posture was tense as he hunched over the  ruined  pair , knowing his  clever little  scavenger would put t wo and two together  in less than the time it would take to deny  it.  The obvious truth found in those long-forgotten tokens of his childhood, these keepsakes his usually unsentimental father had preserved so carefully after all this time. 

T his realization of his fathers enduring love for him, it could lacerate his heart like nothing else, he could not deny it. 

It would be foolish to even try , Rey wpuld read him like a book.

But she made no comment upon it, perhaps knowing how her questions would pain him. The guilt he held  buried deep inside was a monstrous, aching thing . A  self- hatred so profound and so foul, it  tore at his very  soul .

Rey knew it was neither her place to condemn him, or absolve him of these  heinous acts of betrayal he perpetrated.

So she said nothing.

Only Kylo could walk that path to acceptance and forgiveness. Tentative amendments had already begun with this  cautious  alliance with the resistance, a thawing of relations with his mother forming on the horizon.

There was  always the  chance redemption would not be far  behind if this hand of understanding and friendship if this hand of forgiveness remained outstretched.

Rey sighed as  she  raised the metal sheet back into place, locking  away  those precious  beacons of the past behind the screen that protected their secrets. Han Solo’s cherished possessions and memories safe and  sound once more .

Rey ambled over to  Kylo as the silence in the hold grew between them ,  her hands twisting together by her stomach  in nervous twitches. 

Her companion ignored her, those dark eyes of his too studiously focused on the task at hand to acknowledge her presence. Rey wrinkled her noise in distaste the closer she drew to his work bench, the smell of the alcohol an overwhelming and burning presence in her airway. 

It was beyond unpleasant!

However, despite the unruly stench, the foul solution seemed to be working.  Kylo’s black, heavy boots were almost back to normal under his steady, undaunted hands.

“You got another one for me?” she asked awkwardly, gesturing to his hands as he looked down at her confusedly.

“What?” he mumbled ; dark brows furrowed as he stared at her a little dumbfounded.

“The cloth, do you....do you have a spare?” Rey said breathily back, her hand motioning again at the ratty scraps of material he was using.  Kylo cocked his head to the side, studying her face with a slight look of suspicion.

“I’m almost finished, I don’t need  your help” he said coldly, making it very clear he had not forgotten her earlier rejection. Rey’s own expression fell a little, her jaw tightening as she  glared up at him.

“I’m not offering!” she shot back touchily.

“Then what...”

“My feet dunderhead, I need to get the paint of my feet” Rey interjected with a scowl.  Kylo’s less than warm manner thawed a little and he had the decency to at least look a little contrite as his eyes flicked down to her ankles.

The yellow paint turning  a light beige  from the  dusty surface of the  floor.

“Oh...yeah...of course” he stuttered back, his cheeks  pinking as he handed her  the open bottle of moonshine and  an unused  ream of material.

“Just use it sparingly, this stuff could burn a hole in B eskar ” he added in a low,  rushed  tone. Feeling awkward for his hasty and bullish behavior toward her .

Rey nodded, taking the offered items with little  enthusiasm. Those full lips of hers turned down in the beginnings of an unhappy pout as she studied him carefully. Trying to understand his restless, hot and cold attitude toward her .  Kylo had seemed almost genial  and good humoured  a few minutes ago at the ruined fresher . 

Now ...it  seemed  he had reverted to his usual ornery and brooding self.

And yet.

It was all too forced for her to accept, like he was making a  concerted and  conscious effort to be as much of an ass as possible.

“Thanks” she muttered back after a long, loaded silence between them.

Turning on her heel, she clutched the items in her hands tighter and set herself down on a large cargo boxes with a huff. Determined to give  Kylo the cold shoulder now he’d made it  abundantly clear he wasn’t  the least bit  keen on spending time together.

The worst part about it was, despite her well founded irritation, Rey couldn’t wholly blame him. 

_ Kriff _ _ it, why the hell had she run away like that in the cabin. _

Admittedly she could have handled the whole situation a little better , maybe offered some small explanation for her  unfeeling  actions.

But she’d panicked.

Just like she had all that time ago in the Red Throne Room. 

After the fight.

Rey often wondered how things would have gone if she’d had the courage to kiss him that day . To have gone to him  willingly  after they’d vanquished the last guard together. She would have crossed that fiery, bloodstained battleground and taken his lips  on hers like she’d so desperately wanted since the moment they’d locked eyes in the elevator . 

Would it have changed Ben’s actions that day if she’d made her feelings clear, would it have softened his militant resolve?

_ Perhaps _ .

And yet, maybe Ben would have always gone  the  way he'd planned,  no matter what she had done. He would have walked that acrimonious path of desolation and hate, destroyed everything she held dear because it was what he was _supposed_ to do.

Maybe, if she’d given in to her impulse and captured him in that single, forbidden kiss, she would’ve lost the strength to resist his proffered hand and the darkness it demanded.

Rey could have left her friends to  be slaughtered . Lost herself to the dark side, for a pair of pretty eyes.

And what pretty eyes he had.

Rey sighed heavily as she began to pour the pungent, brown liquid onto the starched white cloth, wincing slightly as the alcohol stung her skin. The paint came away easily with  the first swipe along her heel, the  liquid though astringent and irritating to her skin,  made quick work of that  grimy,  yellow pigment.

Each contact was a rough and unpleasant  sort of sensation , but it brought with it a  quiet  sense of satisfaction  as the paint was removed little by little.  Rey's feet quickly grew  rosy and  dry as  all the moisture was drawn out and  wicked away , natural oils removed  with the paint  as her skin began to itc h uncontrollably. 

Rey clenched her hands tightly into balls as she  laid down the  grubby, ruined cotton on the equally grimy floor,  grumpily resisting  only just,  the  insistent  urge to scratch at her irritated heels with aplomb. 

It was almost painful,  that ticklish burning itch  that spread across her epidermis as it reddened further and further. 

The texture  grew  so dry it felt like old paper, chalky and hot as her  feet brushed up against  one another accidentally .

Maker, it was so hard to stop herself from giving and scratching that awful prickle of  inflammation .

“I told you to use it sparingly”  Kylo’s deep voice chastised, his broad , tall body suddenly standing in front of her with  a  blank expression. Rey had been too focused on her own chores to notice his approach. Her crawling skin dully her awareness as she writhed in discomfort.

“Yeah well.... your scolding really  isn’t helping right now , is it” she hissed back, resorting to sitting on her hands to resist the urge  to claw at her feet  as the tingling got worse.

“Maker above.....this sucks SO bad” she added with a growl, gritting her teeth so hard her jaw clicked with the pressure.  Kylo let out a short huff of air in reply, like he was swallowing a laugh. He  bit down on his  lower  lip to avoid smirking , not wanting to aggravate her  further as she raged against  the simple rash that caused her so much grief

It was oddly funny to see her  rendered so powerless  because of  a bad bout of dry skin.

“Don’t you dare start laughing” Rey warned in a furious grunt. Scrunching her eyes tightly closed as she growled again in frustration. Peeved as much by the situation as by the amusement  Kylo seemed to be getting out of it.

“I wouldn’t dare to” he snorted loudly back despite his best efforts to hide his mirth.

“ Bbbeeeennnn !  Pleassseee ” Rey moaned back, her voice a high whine as she pouted childishly.

Kylo’s smirk faded into a faint smile as his true name rang around the hold, the unexpectedly sound of it on her tongue softening what little lingering resentment he had.

He resolved to help her.

Rey felt  Kylo step away from her, his heavy footsteps vibrating across the cold  durasteel floor as he moved to the other end of the Falcon. Opening her eyes, Rey tried not to let her disappointment show as her face fell in response.

Upset he had left her to suffer this indignity alone.

But  Kylo was quickly at her side again before she could slip further into discontent. The ghost of a smile gracing his lips as he pulled another cargo crate toward her. 

He sat down on the worn, beaten up box facing her, a studious look in his eyes as he watched her carefully.

“You ever hear of  F’iirta root?” he asked after a beat, shuffling forward on the crate. Rey gave an odd look, her features twisting in confusion at his inane question. Unsure whether he was trying to distract her or just annoy her with this seemingly useless fact he was about to impart.

It would annoy her regardless of his intentions, feeling so irritated now it was almost overwhelming. The itch in her feet had made its way up her ankles by now, the burning rash spreading out like a wildfire as her forearms twitched. Aching with the concerted effort of keeping her hands firmly under her backside.

“No.....I haven’t” Rey gritted back, exhaling loudly as her discomfort rose.

“Well....it’s an extremely rare flowering plant, found only on  Endor . Deep in the lush jungle of a single, solitary valley.”  Kylo continued, eyes alighting with enthusiasm as he unwrapped his unusual tale “The Ewok’s have revered the tiny, white flower as a minor deity for centuries. Believing it to be last offspring of their benevolent, Great Spirit tree”

He paused, playing with a small, yellowish jar in his hands as he took in  Rey's less eager expression, her frown growing heavier the longer he spoke. However, despite this less than encouraging reaction,  Kylo wasn’t the least bit put off by her disinterest and confusion.

“In fact....” he continued “.....there have been times when brave Ewok warriors have been known to lay down their lives, just to protect those small, white blooms. That’s how precious they are”

“And  _ why  _ exactly ..... are you telling me this?" Rey muttered irritably. Almost enraged he was droning on like that when she was suffering such agony.

Kylo chuckled lightly as he held up the small jar in his hands, twisting the lid off as he spoke.

“Because among other things,  F’iirta root is  exceptionally good at treating burns and other skin problems”.

Bending down, he gently pulled one of Rey’s f ee t to rest on his thigh and began to spread the thick, oily paste over her toes and sole. Rey shivered as his large, warm fingers moved over her heated skin, an immediate relief found in the cool, comfort the strange cream brought.

Her body relaxed as the tension left her muscles, hands slipping out to steady herself as  Kylo’s arms pulled her forward slightly. Breathing deeply, she tried not to think too much on how much she liked his hands on her. The slight pressure of his strong fingers as they moved over her ankles, an unexpected pleasure. 

Rey bit at her lip to stop the uncontrolled groan of relief and possibly something decidedly more devilish, escaping her mouth in reply to his ministrations

Failing miserably on all counts

Switching her feet,  Kylo began to repeat the same careful process as on the first. Diligently covering every patch of dry, blushed skin with the flowery scented paste until the burning heat had quelled to a low and natural warmth. He tried not to let the rumble of obvious pleasure she made affect him much as he worked on in silence. But it was impossible, that sound  _ did something  _ to him _. _

There was a definite stirring in his pants as Rey groaned again, her foot twitching automatically when he pressed against a certain nerve. Her flailing limb brushed tantalizingly close to his crotch, the edge of her heel skimming over the tight muscle of his upper thigh as she grunted.

“Sorry” she mumbled with a slight blush, painfully aware of what she’d almost done “that was sort of ticklish”.

Kylo smirked back at her and was reward by a proper grin as Rey snorted in embarrassment. Unable to do anything but laugh at how close she’d come to playing footsie with his cock by mistake.

Oh yes, everything about her  _ did something _ to him.

He gently set her foot down before sitting back on the crate with a contented sigh.

“Better?” he asked in a low, soothing tone.

Rey nodded earnestly.

“More than you will ever know. Thank you”.

Kylo’s smirk broke into a full and happy smile, deep dimples forming in his cheeks as he beamed at her.

Rey couldn’t help how her heart leapt, the rhythm thundering in her ears as she looked at him.

Enamored by that boyish and unguarded show of affection .

“You are, very welcome Scavenger” he rumbled back, smile plastered to his face as his mouth widened.

The tension pressed upon them further , their mutual racing pulses, becoming all too much as the  unspoken attraction grew and overwhelmed their  senses .

Rey couldn’t take it, she had to  break  this intoxicating  and anxious strain. This silence loaded with anticipation. 

She averted her eyes and  Kylo felt his cheerfulness deflate.

Reminded once more, it was nothing more than a chaste, playful flirtation to her and nothing more. All this was an innocent distraction at best, for Rey, she loved another.

_ And not him. _

“If that flower is so fiercely protected, how in the Galaxy did you get that remedy?” she  ask quietly, her voice still bright despite the awkwardness. 

Kylo blinked at her, clearing his throat as he collected his thoughts.

“My  fath ..... ” his words stalled for moment as an uncomfortable grimace ended his smile. He began again, sounding more downtrodden this time when he spoke.

“Han ..... and the others, they were gifted a seedling at the end of the war. It was given as sign of honor and thanks by the Ewok chief, for all they’d done in the battle of  Endor .”

“Oh" Rey mumbled back quietly, conscious it would not be wise of her to continue down this line of questioning too persistently. 

But in the end,  Kylo filled in the gaps willingly. 

“Leia....she grew it in our garden on  Chandrila for years. Once it had matured enough,  Chewie helped her make a balm from the root"

Rey nodded back at him slowly, catching his eye with a solemn stare.

“The oils, they don’t decompose for some reason....so the ointment keeps  _ forever _ . It’s very possible this jar could be the first or second batch they ever made"  Kylo rambled on, his lips twisting upward for a moment as he reminisced.

“Anyway....” he sighed “I’m glad it  helped"

“It did...” Rey murmured back, smile much more muted this time.

“Good".

His dark eyes fixed on her more firmly now, expression unreadable as his gaze flicked between her eyes and mouth with another heavy sigh. As if steeling himself to say something.

Something which he dreaded to broach.

A look akin to frustration flashed on his face as he seemed to chicken out, a muscle in his jaw jumping as his teeth gritted together. 

“You can keep it” he said gruffly, shoving the jar of  F’iirta root into her hands before he abruptly stood. He went to turn away but instead paused as if thinking the better of it and stared down at Rey with nervous eyes.  Kylo opened his mouth again, jaw and tongue working helpless to form the words that just wouldn’t come. 

It was hopeless.

He growled and turned on his heel, striding out of the hold without a second glance. However, Rey was not as easily dismissed or discouraged as he had been when she had stormed off so abruptly earlier.

Her small, swift feet slapped against the cold floor as she scurried to catch him.  Kylo groaned internally as he heard her follow him, knowing there was no way they could avoid what was about to come 

“Hey! Stop! ” Rey called after him crabbily, her face full of thunder as she raced just ahead of him. 

Screeching to a halt right in the middle of his obstinate path, she stopped him dead in his tracks.

“What?” he huffed back touchily, nostrils  flaring in annoyance  a s his attempts  to side  step her were quickly thwarted.

“What do you mean  _ what _ ?” Rey scoffed louder, her displeasure rising as  Kylo scowled at her like his old, contrary self.

“I don’t know what it is you want me to say” he shrugged back at her, making Rey’s irritation rise to abject and warranted fury. She stepped in closer to him, her hazel eyes flashes darkly as she craned her neck up to glare at him better.

“Why did you just leave me like that in the hold? Why did you look at me as though I’d done something ....unfathomably wrong?” Rey hissed at him hotly, her voice cracking as she spoke. An unnamed emotion rose in her, the obvious and growing upset overtaking the anger.

“What did I do wrong?” she asked more calmly, tone dejected and desperate for answers.  Kylo’s heavy brow relaxed, a look of quiet remorse filling his troubled features.

“You didn’t” he answered kindly, staring at her with obvious sorrow “I just....”

He didn’t finish, another harsh exhale rushing from his mouth. 

_ Maker  _ why was it so hard to tell the truth.

“You just what?” Rey repeated more forceful, her gaze becoming probing as  Kylo stalled once more.

“Tell me ..... you just _what_?”

Kylo stared at her, jaw working again as he recognized, he just didn’t have the strength to lie to  her . For once, he wanted to be one hundred percent honest.

Especially to himself.

“I just ..... ” he began in a low, rough voice “....I heard everything Rey.  _ Everything _ .”

Rey looked at him with large, confused eyes.

“You heard what?”

Kylo exhaled harshly, the sound halfway between a scoff and a sigh.

“When you were speaking to your little,  R esistance friend on the  holonet .... About the stupid  _ Buckethead _ __ you call Finn”

There is a beat of squeezed, awkward silence as Rey digested his awful confession, her pretty face paling in realization.

But as the shock passed, it was furious outrage that replaced it.

" _You were spying on me_?" Rey spat back with disbelieving fury as her temper  was revived with a terrible and fiery conviction.

“You listened in on my  _ private  _ conversation with my friend, on purpose!”

"No! It wasn’t like that" Kylo snapped back coldly "you know just as well as I do, I can't control it when the Force connects us!"   
Rey’s scowl was not moved by his entreaty; however, she couldn’t help but mutter her mutinous concession in agreement. Knowing, at least on this point, he was utterly blameless.

That  didn’t mean it didn’t irk her quite as greatly.

“ You can control however, whether or not you choose to listen ! " she shot back with little restraint, her hands  perched on her hips as she scowled at him.

“Please! You can’t really believe that? ”

Kylo leaned down closer, his face a stormy mess of conflicted  emotions as he glared at her.

“ Your melodrama was impossible to ignore! I couldn’t  NOT hear it even if I tried".

“Why does it even matter to you? I don’t understand how this can even bother you  _ so _ much!” Rey said irately, a  note of challenge in her voice.

“You don’t? No.... of course you don’t” Kylo muttered bitterly, that old, searing hurt rising to the surface.

“ Fine....l et me be succinct for  once ” 

Kylo leaned even closer, unable to stop  this tumble of  resentment from  overtaking his  self-control . 

" That _ traitor _ is  _ l _ _ ucky _ you turned him down so emphaticall y when  he kissed you. ”

His lovely brown eyes flashed murderously as  this embittered anguish drove him on .

“Because of this small mercy in his favour, he gets to keep his head attached to his shoulders”.

Kylo’s gaze narrowed, his jaw chewing on the discontent as he tried to swallow down that burning jealousy.

“Well....For now! He’s safe for now" He added coldly, lips curling up in a sneer.

Rey stood staring at him , her mouth open in surprise as he huffed to a stop,  his  chest  shuddering as the  urge to speak faded away as quickly as it rose .  Kylo all too aware he’d said too much, given too much and let his cards show completely when it came to her.

The earlier mystery behind his rage and cruel behaviour toward her, now clicking into place.

Rey understood.

It had been so obvious all along. 

Kylo was jealous, so blinded by this rancor he felt, he could not see the truth staring him straight in the face. 

For....if he had overheard _how_ she had rejected Finn advances, he also so knew the reason _why_.

Or at least  _ part  _ of the reason why.

_ Kylo Ren was jealous. _

Resentful of some imagined rival that did not exist. Unable to handle the rejection he thought he faced if he admitted his feelings for her.

_ Kylo Ren was hurting. _

The thought seemed almost foreign to her, that he would care that much!

It left her mute and unable to answer his heartfelt admission, her mind thrown into overdrive.

And though it was true this new and vital fact did not absolve him of his terrible manners, it certainly took the sting off her wounded pride in some small way.

Knowing his feelings were genuine, that the connection had she felt all this time, was real!

However, Rey did not have long to dwell on these new and pivotal realizations. Little time passed before Kylo’s volatile temper rose again, his frayed patience worn to the nub by her silence and his woeful lack of clarity.

He had to know.

“Who is he? Who is the man you rejected that traitor for?”  Kylo demanded in a low, menacing bark. Rey scoffed loudly in reply, utterly bewildered how he could be so thick-skulled.

“Really? You’re really asking me that question? Gods Ben....” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration before stalking off down the corridor. Her head shaking in disbelief.

Maker he was an  _ idiot _ !

Rey was determined not to get wrapped up in all these erratic mood swings of his today.

She wasn’t going to lower her guard for him, to admit these feelings she had denied for over a year, not when he _insisted_ upon acting like child! 

Kylo was quickly on her heel, face like a wounded puppy as he followed through the freighter. 

“Of course I am asking you that question, I want to know.” he huffed irritably behind her.

“Why?” Rey hissed, whipping around to face him suddenly.  Kylo was momentarily taken aback by her ferocity and stared at her agog for a moment.

“Why do you want to know Ben? Why is it so important?” she repeated more gently this time, her face softening as she gave him a chance to speak and change tact.

To quell that green-eyed demon of jealousy and see things as they were and not how his warped mind saw them.

“It just is” he exhaled harshly, tone belligerent as he ignored her offer of civility. It was like a floodgate had been opened inside of him and he just couldn’t stop the rush of antagonism and petulance he felt from staining every word that left his mouth.

Rey chewed on the side of her cheek as her eye narrowed at him, frustration growing again.

“Forget it” she muttered back before striding off once more in a flurry of indignation.  Kylo clenched his hands tightly into fists as he watched her leave, so tempted to just turn around and find a quiet corner to sulk in, rather  than continuing to trail her like the pathetic fool he was.

_But_.

He couldn’t let this go!

Growling loudly, he drove himself forward.

* * *

Rey had hoped to find  Chewie when she had returned to the site of the ruined Fresher, but the old Wookie was nowhere to be found. Busying himself elsewhere it seemed. Rey exhaled loudly in disappointment.

So much for having an eight-foot buffer to dissuade Ben’s ceaseless crusade!

Sighing loudly again, she swiftly and silently padded further down the corridor as she heard Ben's heavy, stamping footsteps coming toward her. 

Not wanting to continue these difficult exchanges of half- truths and confused double speak, she darted into one of the engineering bays without a sound.

Hoping to give him the slip down this dark, narrow corridor.

She tried to ease her breath to an almost soundless hush the closer he got, crouching low behind the large mass of a water tank in some vain attempt to hide. Rey pressed her body closer to the darkness it provided, already knowing even as she did this, there was no way she could hide from Ben for long.

It was idiotic to try.

He would find her no matter where she went, draw toward her forever, like a moth toward a flame.

“What are you doing?” he huffed unhappily, none too pleased by her failed attempts to evade him as his dark head peeped out over the top of the tank.

“Nothing” Rey retorted with red cheeks, feeling utterly foolish as she rose to her feet.

“Doesn’t look like nothing” he huffed again, glowering at her from the mouth of the passageway.

“Whatever” Rey muttered sourly, stepping forward and trying to make her way past him with a scowl.

But  Kylo was not willing to let her off so easily. He weaved out in front of her, blocking her escape with his considerable bulk as he fixed her a determined look.

“Move” Rey ordered, gritting her teeth as her temper flared “I mean it”

She felt fully prepared to throw him across the opposing wall if he refused, and  Kylo knew it.

But he didn’t care.

“No” he replied firmly, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared down at her with little fear.

Let her do her worse, he dared her!

“I am warning you. You have five seconds to move your ass out of my way or you’ll be sorry” Rey spat up at him, poking  him hard in his immense chest as if to prove her point.

“No”  Kylo repeated resolutely, stepping in closer to her personal space.

“Not until you tell me. Who is  he  Rey, who is it you have feelings for?  “

His nostrils flared as he looked at her, a tiny muscle jumping just under his eyes as he braced himself for the answer.

“ I need to know. Now”.

Rey’s tolerance and self-restraint had, had enough. Pushed to her brink, she wagered, at least if she was brutally honest, it would end this stupid obsession of his!

“Fine, you really want to know? You desperately want me to tell you who  _ exactly, _ I broke my best friend’s heart for?” Rey growled, her fist tightening as she fought the urge to either punch him or kiss him for his persistence.

“ _ You  _ Ben Solo, despite everything and despite every logical instinct I have, it’s  _ YOU _ !” 

She sighed almost sadly. A glassy look  bled into her anguished and angry eyes as  her whole body seemed to deflate in defeat.

“It always has been.”

Kylo’s gaze  widened as every trace of anger faded from his face. The words taking  time to make sense as they ran over and over again through his  mind . 

His was dumbfounded, utterly blindsided by it.

Rey had feelings for  him .

_ Him _ .

Not some unworthy, idiotic, Resistance officer who would never comprehend the treasure he possessed.

_ Rey  _ _ cared for _ _ him. _

That had been the last thing he’d been expecting. 

‘ _ You Ben Solo _ ’ 

That was what Rey had said, the words seeming the farthest thing from his careful predictions.

It had never been his true name he’d ever dreamed to be the one she’d utter in confession. It had never even been a hope of his, to think this possible in any existence, for it seemed a foolish fantasy.

But he was not dreaming now, this was real!

Rey had said  _ his name _ !

All at once there was a feeling of such intense lightness within him as this realization became an irrefutable truth.

And for the first time in his  entire  adult life , Ben felt something quite unexpected fill him as he began to  recover from the shock of it .

He felt joy.

Pure, blissfully and innocent , joy.

At the same moment, Rey misread his initial shocked stupor as horror, watching as he remained stock still and staring down at her intently. 

Ben did not say a word, did not even utter a single reassuring grunt as the silence stretched on. Rey began to grow uncomfortable, fearful she had made a grave mistake. Self doubt making her believe Kylo had simply been possessive earlier.

Driven by a dark obsession and a lust for power only she could fulfill and not by anything akin to love or affection.

It was entirely possible; he’d never feel the way she felt about him. 

And that thought,  _ Maker _ was it mortifying and soul crushing.

Her breath shuddered as she swallowed her disappointment, blinking back a tear as she tried again to barrel past Ben’s firm, broad body. 

But as Rey moved to leave once more, Ben seemed to snap out of his stupor. His hand shot out and caught her wrist, pulling her roughly into his chest as an arm wrapped around her middle.

“ If y ou thin k for one minute, you can just walk away from  me after  what you just said ... .. you are utterly mistaken ” .

His voice was low and smooth as silk as it whispered from his breast. 

Those eyes of his were heated and bright as they looked down at her, a mixture of want and affection found there that made her heart thud and race in nervous response.

An old destructive panic rose in her blood,  that same hard learned instinct from childhood,  screaming at her to get away. To protect  herself and  that tender heart  of hers  from this  dangerously beautiful man who could break her. 

The man who could decimate her soul , with  very suggestion of rejection. 

“Let go of me” she ordered with little conviction, tone lackluster and voice shaking even as she tried to squirm away.

Ben smiled coyly, seeing right through the façade.

“No” he whispered back, lifting his hand to cup her cheek in some vain attempt to calm her. He relished how her pupils dilated at the contact of his rough palm on her face, her skin prickling under his fingertips as her lips parted with shuddering inhalations.

“I don’t think you want me to”.

“Please” she begged weakly, fighting to walk away from his now suffocating embrace. But Ben followed, pressing her up against opposing wall and pinning her there with little force as he leaned in closer.

His hand found her cheek again, thumb trailing the soft bow of her lips and the fine line of her bone with a contented hum.

Rey gulped with nervousness but couldn’t help but melt into his touch, her throat bobbing as Ben’s eyes traced her face. Looking between her eyes and lips with such awe and adoration, as he swallowed his own terror with a heavy sigh.

His fingers trailed gently down her neck, arching her face up closer to his as her eye lashes fluttered in bewilderment.  So taken aback by the tenderness of his touch it made her heart race faster, this ache to be touched growing stronger.

It was a gentleness she had never expected from him, even at such times of intimacy and affection.

“Why are you fighting this?” he murmured with soft  wonderment, his other hand coming to rest at her hip. His large thumb running up and down the side of her abdomen in slow, easy and calming strokes.

The action made her shiver and clutch at the material of his shirt  unconsciously , pulling him closer.

Shutting her eyes for a moment, she breathed in deeply.

“Because I’m afraid” she whimpered back, burying her face in the cotton softness of his chest as her admission soured the sweet atmosphere.

“Of me” Ben offered sadly; voice tinged with hurt before she had even answered. He leaned his cheek upon the crown of her head as Rey shuddered again, steadying her nerves with a serious of shallow, quick breathes.

“No” Rey replied, shaking her head strongly as she raised her eyes “Never!”

“Then what?” Ben asked carefully, looking deeply into those beautiful hazel eyes of hers.

“I’m afraid of myself, of who I become if I give in.” she admitted with troubled eyes “I am afraid of who I’ll become if I lose you on this mission”. Ben’s gaze softened as he looked down at her, right hand finding her face once more with a low shushing whisper.

He brushed her loose, chestnut hair away from her face and smiled.

“Don’t be, I’m not going anywhere”.

Rey’s tight and morose expression did not lighten, her features twisting as she exhaled heavily.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep”.

Ben smirked, a low snort escaping despite the seriousness of her words. 

“Never” he teased, thumb catching on her lower lip even as she frowned at him. He stared at the dark pink, plump skin of it, totally absorbed by how it moved as she huffed loudly at him.

"I mean it, don't promise you'll come back when you don't know what's waiting."

"I know, I won't" Ben crooned, licking his lips as his thoughts shifted considerably. Staring fixedly at her mouth.

“And.....Don’t you dare kiss me!” Rey snapped moodily, unable to stop herself from staring at his mouth too.

Ben knew she did not mean it in the least, her whole body canting forward into his, even as she ordered him away. Her wants betraying her as she clutched at his sweatshirt harder.

“No? Are you sure?” he purred low and dangerously, mocking her with his grin as he leaned closer. Forehead soon resting against hers as Rey glared up at him.

“Yes, I’m sure” she retorted, frown deepening as lost herself in his chocolate gaze.

“Really?” he laughed, curling his finger under her chin to angle her face up further “I believe you may be giving me mixed signals”.

Rey narrowed her eyes at him, yet a taunting smirk lit her mouth as she licked her lips. Anticipation filling her gut.

“You kiss me, I’ll bite that pretty mouth of yours” she uttered back huskily with a feral growl in her voice. Ben laughed lightly, coaxing her closer as he rubbed his nose against hers. Greatly amused by her obstinacy and this odd form of seduction.

“I believe....” he whispered cockily, eyes lighting with devilish purpose as he caught her gaze one last time “I think I’ll take my chances”.

Rey’s smirk stretched out into a full grin as he called her bluff, Ben dropping forward and capturing her mouth with his with the lightest of brushes. The shared sensation so brief it was if it hadn’t happened at all. 

Ben hummed happily as he leaned forward again and kissed her harder this time, her flushed lips parting as they met his with a low groan. Their breaths a low, rush of pants and sighs as they held each other closer in that dark, hot corridor.

Each new caress a brilliant and intoxicating discovery, instinct filling the gaps in their experience.

“Ow” Ben exclaimed suddenly, a short, sharp pain throbbing from his lower lip that made him pull away with a grimace. He sucked on the sensitive, bruised flesh as Rey grinned up at him wickedly, her lips red and wet from his mouth.

“I told you I’d bite you” she teased with a victorious smile, wrapping her arms around his middle as Ben looked down at her in bewilderment. 

“You are.....an utter shrew” he shot back with an almost proud look, chuckling darkly as he dipped low suddenly to nip at her neck. Teeth grazing her skin as he sucked hard on her pulse point.

“Ow....hey that hurt!” she shrieked, hitting him hard in the chest. Ben caught her tight fist as it made to strike him again, laughing at her childish petulance

“Quid pro quo sweetheart, it’s only fair” he retorted with a wolfish grin, disarming her next attack with a new and searing kiss. The meeting of their mouths more frenzied and passionate now their blood was up.

Ben released Rey’s stray fist, groaning loudly as she wrapped both arms around his neck and pulled him closer. Wanting every little part of him she could get.

Ben pressed her harder into the wall as the hot, muscle of her tongue traced his unexpectedly, lighting a hotter and greater fire of desire inside of him. Kissing Rey was better than he ever expected.

He matched her voracious appetite, passions for passions, taking and giving everything in equal measure.

Her hands were like two hot coals upon his cheeks, ferocious and filled with fire as they gripped his face. Her long fingers soon tangling in his thick hair as angled him closer. Holding him tightly to her as if he was the most precious thing in the entire universe.

In the back of her mind, Rey reflected on Finn for the briefest of moments, memory flaring in these blinding instants of intense pleasure and relief.

Her mind turning to how she’d felt when he’d stolen that kiss from her a few days ago, the first _real_ kiss she had ever received. 

It had been a nice, comforting and sweet experience in a way.

_ But _ .

Even with her little to no experience of the art of love, Rey had known, that was not how kisses between lovers were meant to feel.

Not at all.

And as she lost herself now in Ben’s sinful mouth and roaming hands, his dark eyes and soft, wavy hair, she knew now, she had been entirely correct.

This was how lovers were meant to kiss, desperately, imperfectly and without restraint.

Kissing Ben, it felt like coming home.

Like finding that raw, unspoiled diamond in the rough, the treasure buried below the soiled and broken ground.

This what she had waited for.

_Him_.

The Force knew it too, a strange energy surround them now. Dark and light surging together to form dusky peace.

Each kiss an expression of balance that pleasured the living Force.

They could _feel_ it, the very truth of their pleasure. Reflecting like mirror images in the other, pulsing down their bond.

It made them crave for more.

Ben’s big, strong arms suddenly dipped and caught her under her bottom, lifting Rey up off her feet and high upon the  coarse , unforgiving  durasteel wall with little effort. The uneven metal surface cut into her back uncomfortably, yet she did not care. Rey kissed him harder as she wrapped her long, slim legs around his waist. Groaning in satisfaction as this new angle brought new depth and ease to their caresses.

Ben huffed in surprise as he realised Rey wore nothing but simple, cotton briefs under that long, oversized tunic. His forearms were tucked just under the swell of her pert behind as his skin met the bare expanse of her thighs, the damp material of her underwear sticking to the front of his sweatshirt as heat radiated from her core.

Heat that told them both, this little chaste game of kisses was very quickly changing into something altogether more animalistic.

Ben pawed at the round, toned muscle of her ass as something new and powerful overtook him.

Kriff it, he was starting to get hard now.

Painfully so.

<Sunshine, Boy.....where are half pups?> Chewie’s loud growl thundered through the Falcon, interrupting the sordid moment. Rey tore her mouth from Ben’s as a new and scarlet blush burst over her cheeks.

Maker, did that Wookie have terrible timing.

Rey swallowed deeply, her eyes shifting to sheltered mouth of the passageway as she prayed Chewbacca did not catch them like this. She would die of embarrassment.

The sound of the Wookie’s heavy, slow steps moved further away as he ambled toward the main hold.

<Sunshine....Chewbacca need help.....where lady hidden?> he called again, tone a little  more grumpy this time. Clearly, he was growing tired.

It had been several hours since they'd all been awoken by the gas leak, he must have been exhausted.

“I’ll be there in a minute" Rey found herself calling back, determined not to make her surrogate father aware of what she and Ben were doing.

“I’m....” she stalled, her cheeks reddening further as she caught Ben’s probing and guarded eyes .

“I’m just in the middle of something”

She tried not to snort as Ben’s face split in a delighted and  conspiratory grin. The urge to giggle almost impossible to suppress, especially when he pressed featherlight and teasing kisses to the ticklish skin of her neck.

<Fine, come meet by Cockpit when finished> Chewie huffed loudly, traipsing toward the cockpit and soon out of range of her soft and high squeaks. Her body squirming in response to Ben’s eager assault.

Grabbing his hair, she yanked his head away from her neck.

“Stop it....” she giggled, eyebrow arching in warning as he tried to pull from her grip and tease her again.

“Fine” he grumbled back, moving to set her back down on her feet with a disappointed sigh. However, Rey’s thighs tightened around him instead which caused Ben to look at her with a raised brow of his own.

Standing up straight once more, he cocked his head to the side as Rey regarded him with an alluring smirk.

“What about Chewie?” he asked in a low, soft and curious voice. Rey bit at her lips before she leaned in close.

“He can wait a little while longer”

Rey crashed back into him, an impish smile gracing her features as Ben groaned low in surprise. Not attempting to argue in anyway as she kissed him again with such an ardor, it made his hips jolt up in reply.

The beginnings of his erection brushing up against her in a swift and unexpected rush of bliss.

“Oh” Rey exhaled softly in astonishment, pulling back as her mouth remained in the shape of an ‘O’. Her eyes widened as her gaze drifted down, surprised by the bulge of excitement she found resting just under her thighs.

“Wow”.

She knew things had become heated, but this visual and physical confirmation of Ben’s arousal, was an unanticipated shock to her system. Her inexperience showing.

“Sorry, I can't help it” Ben mumbled shyly, unable to look at her in the face as his cheeks burned in embarrassment “.....you’re ..... you’re too good at this"

Rey grinned in reply, biting her lip hard to avoid revealing her own growing arousal. The apex of her thighs hot and sticky beneath the cotton.

“No....don’t be sorry” she murmured back softly, stroking his jaw as she locked her eyes on his “I’m very flattered actually”.

Ben managed to push past his awkwardness and smile back at her dozily.

“You should be, I don’t think it’s ever reacted this way for anyone else!” he joked, bashful grin deepening.

“I bet you say that to all the girls you kiss” Rey shot back, pressing her lips to the corner of his mouth as this unasked question hung in the air. 

Just how many girls had he found himself in this position with?

“No” Ben chuckled lightly in reply, tone sardonic “just the  one silly girl, who actually let me kiss her!” 

Rey’s expression brightened as she pulled back to look at him better.

“So....” she began.

“Rey....I have never kissed anyone but you” he interrupted with a solemn nod of his head “How could I?”

“Oh....” she replied quietly, not sure what else to say, but feeling oddly thrilled by the acknowledgement of it.

She was his first and his only, which meant.....well it meant a great many things.

<Sunshine!> Chewie barked loudly from the other end of the freighter <Waiting I am!>

His patience was clearly gone.

Ben sighed heavily and pressed a quick, chaste kiss to Rey’s unhappy pout. She did not object or cling to him this time as he set her back down to her feet. Their warm bodies parting with little enthusiasm.

“I better go” Rey said apathetically, staring at her bare feet to avoid Ben’s burning gaze. As she turned to leave, he suddenly spoke. That deep voice of his filled with an unexpected and raw emotion.

“You know ..... even if everything goes wrong on  Exegol tomorrow and the final, lasting memory I have of this life, is the feel of your lovely kiss, I will die happy.”

His eyes are glassy when their gazes meet again and Rey gives him the most bittersweet of smiles.

Because she is happy in some strange way.

She is thankful of the few stolen moments she has gotten with him so far. 

Rey sighs deeply.

“Me too” she replies sadly, the threat of a tear forming at the corner of her eye.

“Me too”.

With that she leaves him, _this time_ , with the promise of something pure and sweet and good in his heart.

The promise of something greater if fate grants them time.

Ben smiles to himself.

So happy, he cannot contain it.

* * *

It is some hours later when they get their chance.

The second and penultimate jump on the galactic highway running smooth and for once without a hitch or hiccup/

They would hit  Exegol in eight standard hours according to their most up to date calculations.

Eight standard hours left to do with what they please, before the uncertainty of battle loomed large.

Chewie bid them well as he set the autopilot and ambled his way tiredly to his cabin. Some  much-needed rest he would take, before they reached planet fall and everything would go to hell.

Rey’s eyes were on Ben before Chewbacca had even left the cockpit, a slow and meaningful smirk spreading across her face.

Standing, she took Ben’s large, warm hands in hers and stepped in between his knees.

"Once we reach that awful planet......it all becomes real, but I’m not ready to do that yet.” she said quietly, her intentions not lost on Ben one bit.

“What say... we go make some more memories to hold us...... while we still can?”

Ben exhales long and slow, face slightly paling as he understands what she is asking, flustered despite the wonderful opportunity it presents. He nods as he smiles up at her, pulling Rey closer to kiss her soundly.

Their mouths meeting once more in a flurry of enthusiasm and frenetic passion.

Ben carries her the entire way to her cabin, never breaking for air once as she crushes her mouth to his.

Lost to her in every possible way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo.....they about to get it on.....I was going to go for mild smut, but I am open to persuasion for harder-core smut lol.
> 
> Also if you are confused about the Kylo/Ben switching in various places, it mostly on purpose :)
> 
> Let me know your thoughts on this chapter and what you want in NO.6.
> 
> P.s.....I just rewrote the epilogue due to peoples input and it is mega fluffy lol
> 
> See you all soon .
> 
> xx


	6. The Power of Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben steal precious moments together and the consequences of their mission take shape.
> 
> AKA
> 
> Sex, sex and more sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends,
> 
> So here is the official last chapter of this story....there wasn't meant to be an epilogue, but the chapter ended up being 12,000 words. So there is an epilogue to be posted tonight as well.  
> Word of warning, I have not fully edited this chapter...I was just too keen to post as it was late!
> 
> The installment ended up being so much more smutty then I had planned, partly as readers requested Ben be bold and confident!  
> Which of course was incredibly fun to write :)
> 
> I hope you like chapter six and epilogue, this fic has been so much fun to write and the response has been so amazing.
> 
> Work on Dusk till Dawn will begin again soon.
> 
> Please do send me a kudos or comment if you liked this work, I need the encouragement at the moment!
> 
> By for now,  
> RedCatRen

The cabin was hot, almost stifling so, as their thrashing bodies barreled through the narrow doorway. Too caught up in each other to really pay much attention to their baking surroundings, not that it  matter much. Their obstructive clothing would soon be gone anyway, blessed relief to be found in the nakedness that would follow.

Ben’s footsteps were loud and awkward as he stomped his way across the untidy floor,  accidentally  kicking  stray  shoes , tools and  an unfortunate chest  asunder in the wake of  this single-minded path. The  unlucky items  tumbled loudly across the metal floor, crashing hard against each other and the heavy, dull walls  of the cabin. Bouncing off  with an obvious  _ bang _ .

The bunk creaked unceremoniously, as Ben practically threw Rey upon it, his big body quickly following as he covered her immediategrunt of annoyance with his mouth.

“Could you,  _ perhaps _ , be a little bit more discreet?  Chewie is practically the other side of that wall.” Rey admonished between hot, breathless kisses. Giggling slightly when Ben pulled back and purposely threw away his boots with two audible thuds.

“No....I don’t think I will" he grinned back, nuzzling into the  soft  crease of her neck as he hummed happily. 

“I’m just testing the waters" he murmured  closer to her ear , his voice dark and rich as it wrapped itself around her. Causing a low and deep tingle to form between her thighs  as his lips kissed at her skin with  feather light presses .

“For what?” Rey asked, her question soft and embarrassingly breathy as it left her mouth. Ben raised his head, another devilish smirk playing upon those plush lips of his.

He leaned closer, tongue darting out of his mouth as he licked and chewed on his lower lip eyes, dark eyes flashing with  wicked purpose.

“For when...... I make you cry out so loud those thuds upon the floor, will seem like barest  _ whispers _ __ in your ears ”.

Rey’s face  shone an even deeper red than before, her whole body coming alight at his words and  the weight carried in that  heavy  gaze.

“You seem awfully confident in your abilities” she retorted, her fingers trailing down his chest to dip just under the material of his sweatshirt. 

“Those are  _ big  _ _ words _ coming from a novice.”

Ben shivered at the contact of her tentative fingertips upon his skin , the rough pads of each digit a welcome friction against his stomach .

“ They are ….but even a novice can  show  exceptional promise" he  teas ed back ,  prizing her lovely warm hands from his abdomen and  pinning them above her head.  Rey’s eyes widened, a shiver running down her back when Ben’s hips pitched forward and spread her thighs even further apart as his body settled between them.

She swallowed deep, feeling the raw heat of him pressing down upon her core.  It felt as though he was  mocking  her now,  reveling in her clear lack of control . For it was clear he was thoroughly enjoying himself a s he smirked in delight at the crimson glow spreading over  her heated c heeks and chest.

But two could play at the game.

Recovering her composure, she hooked her feet together behind his back and rolled her hip up, the centre of her grinding down upon the increasing interested bulge in his pants with little mercy. It was then Ben’s turn to look aghast, a strangle d grunt falling from his lips as Rey cruelly repeated the torture.

He was getting hard again, fast.

“From where I  lie ” Rey purred, arching her head forward to nip upon Ben’s exposed and trembling jaw “It looks like _you,_ still have a lot to learn”.

Pressing down harder upon Rey’s wrists, Ben’s face darkened as he loomed closer. Forcing her back among the mound of  pillows as he surged forward , head hanging  over her with a fiery stare. His expression was thunderous for a moment.

For he was none too pleased by her derision and the motion of her hips  as they drew yet another uncontrolled wince of pleasure from his mouth. Yet, this irritated and indignant frown  quickly dissipated as he spotted Rey’s own growing arousal. Her breath quickening with each new stroke upon him, an ache forming deep within her gut that burned like wildfire as her core began to quiver.

His lips twisted into a smile, haughty and all too satisfied with himself.

“ As do you Scavenger.... perhaps we should learn together?” he growled back at her deviously, feeling a rush of  sudden desire throb down the bond , as he matched her rolling hips with a thrust of his own. The solid mass of his erection brushing directly  upon that sensitive  knot of nerves between her legs.

Rey gasped unexpected, crushing her lower lip beneath her pearly white teeth . Trying, yet failing , to  stem the groan that followed in its wake . 

Their hips moving together now in tandem.

“Maybe...” she managed to whisper back, eyes sparking with a  seductive fire .

“ Or maybe I still need to be convinced”.

Their breath grew ragged as the tension built just below the surface.

_ ‘Maker’  _ Ben thought ‘If things continued like this ..... ’ he was  definitely  going to come hard and _soon_. 

So ridiculously premature of any of the real fun,he would never recover for the embarrassment.

Maker, Rey hadn't even touched him yet!

Ben had to slow this rapid descent  into madness or this would all be over before it had actually begun.

When he kissed her this time , the force of it took their breath away. Stilling those grinding  hips long enough for Ben to get a hold of himself and regain  control over his raging libido .

Rey  sighed eagerly from deep within her chest as his lips played against her hotly.His  t ongue caressing hers with such intensity , it drove any coherent thoughts left in her consciousness, far from her clouded mind. Something baser taking over her, that could only focus upon the  simple  pleasures his eager tongue and lips caused.

Ben’s hands ached to touch her now,  his senses vibrating with the urge to feel her  bare skin below him. He released her  wrists, winding those big hands of his down her  neck and over the soft swell of her chest. Fingers  trailing lightly  over her stiffening nipples  before continuing down to rest upon her hip.

Rey repeated the same action as her fr eed  hands explored him,  making Ben shiver as  her fingers clutched at his back and began to reach below his sweatshirt once more.

He smirked against her mouth, kisses slowing  as he felt her start to yank his  dark shirt  up and away from his skin. Her hands eagerly caressing his skin as he huffed against her neck in response.

Anticipation lurched in their guts as they parted, pupils large and black when their hooded gazes met. Rey continued to pull on Ben’s sweatshirt,  her hands shifting over his  flushing skin as they  moved from his shoulders and onto his  pecs. 

Her own smirk deepening as  she pressed upon the firm muscle and smooth skin  appreciatively. She felt Ben’s heartbeat thunder in reply , his throat bobbing visibly as he swallowed deeply.

“ You know.... ” he whispered  huskily, a low groan leaving his gaping mouth as Rey caressed his chest unabashedly.

“ I’ve thought about this  a lot .... ”

His fingers twitched at her hips, breath stuttering as she leaned  upwards to kiss at his muscled breast  with slow, fluttering  p ecks.

“ ..... all the things I’d do to y ou if I ever found myself between your legs . ”

His voice is sinful in her ear as he bore down upon her, tearing her face from his chest and burying his own  against her neck.  Ben nipped and sucked upon the skin, laving her  bruising  flesh  with unexpectedly tender kisses in the wake of every attack.

“ Did you ever think of  me ....? ” he asked , tongue and lips finding the hollow of her throat  as she trembled under his touch.

“ ....on those long, lonely nights alone".

Rey nodded as  her hands came to tangle in that silky hair of his, angling his head to better reach the spots that made her toes curl. He growled when she did not answer with words,  rising up to glare down at her with  a bristling determination. 

“Say it ” he demanded  fiercely , turning her face towards  his as he took her cheek in his palm.

“Tell me now"

“ Yes , I thought about it"  Rey whispered back, her voice shaking with some untold  emotion. 

“Too many times to count".

Ben’s face  soften , that steely look in his eyes turning  back to a more liquid chocolate. 

“ Did you touch yourself?” Ben huffed loudly,  trailing his fingers up her abdomen and making Rey shiver in his wake .

“Did you  try slake that _burning_ within you?”

Rey's lips twisted into a smirk, her hips arching up against his to tease his  aching cock as he grunted in surprise. 

“What do you think?” she purred back , raising her thumb to brush upon his lips as he gasped  at her provocations.

Her hips worked again, drawing a low and almost pained moan from Ben’s  mouth.

_ Maker was this girl wicked. _

Rey pulled upon Ben’s  sweatshirt,  coaxing  it the rest of the way off his body  as he  stared at her , expression almost dumbfounded .

Her hands ghosted over the bare, pale expanse of his torso with a low hum of  satisfaction , her smirk deepening as Ben was momentarily  struck motionless by her boldness. Her fingers were delightfully hot against his skin as they traced a path up the scar that bisected his right breast, ticklish, yet wonderfully smooth as they slid up toward his cheek.

Rey eyed the line once more with curious, craving wonder, kissing at it softly.

The scar she’d given him all that time ago, now stood as a symbol of permanent possession rather than violence. Her touch marking more than just skin now as her lips and hands moved over it with such delicacy. Treating the marred surface as though it was the most precious silk under her curious and tender touch.

Rey’s voice was low and brimming with sinful promise as she met his eyes once more.

“  Maybe I did .....maybe I  tried in all the ways I could think to stop that relentless ache".

Ben’s grin returned as these loaded words  struck him hard in the gut ,  that desirous  want fueling new confidence. G rasping at her hands  again, he  forced them down  upon the spongy mattress with a  low chuckle.

His  dark brown eyes were lit with mirth and  anticipation as he looked down at her with  such  hunger, it made a shiver of delight roll down her  back .

“You are full of surprises  Scavenger, you know that" he whispered  lustfully , licking his lips  as he regarded her  with hooded eyes. 

His long nose traced a line down  the column of her throat before he pressed  a hot, open mouth kiss to the edge of her jaw. His teeth softly grazing the skin as Rey bucked against him , a low groan of frustration hissing from her teeth.

“ You have no idea Solo...” she managed to choke back, that ache within her growing as  her core began to pound. 

Ben chuckled again,  his eager lips skimming up her  face to meet her mouth in a  slow and sensual kiss.  Finding a new rhythm that left them  desperate and keenimg for those  intimidating next steps.

Ben' s hands  moved to the edge of  Rey's t unic,  long fingers teasing at the edge of the  material before he slowly starting to inch it up and over  her hips.

“I’m counting on it ,  _ sweetheart _ . Believe me, I’m counting on it ” he whispered huskily against her gasping lips,  dragging that soft cotton barrier  up the flushing  mass of her body.

This time when they kissed , there was little restraint or  to be found.

I t was ferocious. 

For they didn’t they  didn’t know any other way to love yet, b ut violently.  Tearing at their remaining clothes, they seemed to consume each other as the last barriers between became nothing more than skin and heat.

Chest to chest, the friction between their naked bodies was a delicious surprise as they moved together with little grace. All eagerness and instinct now, as they lost themselves in these new sensations.

It was  Ben that hesitated first, virginal nerves finally catching up with him.

For it was sudden shock to Ben’s  usual confidence  to find , all once it seemed, Rey's  glorious form completely bare beneath him. Her body beyond his wildest expectations, beautiful and lithe in the low lights of the cabin.

His rigid cock twitched uncomfortably against her thigh as Ben took a rapid and uneven breath, his mind in disarray as he felt the hot press of her unclad sex against his abdomen.

Her wrapped legs forcing him closer as she tried to  regather their excited tempo.

But Ben paused and pulled back from her eager mouth with soft eyes , taking a  quiet  moment to himself to drink her all in,  admiring every inch of her  from top to toe. The soft rise and fall of her chest bringing rapt attention to the rose-pink points of nipples as she looked at him with such  _ fire _ .

Maker she was a vision.

“What?” Rey huffed impatiently, desperate for him to touch her again. Ben’s wide eyes blinked rapidly, seeming to collect himself once more.

“You really have no idea, do you?” he mumbled back in an awestruck and almost overcome tone.

“No idea of what?” Rey replied with a frown, utterly puzzled. Ben shook his head with a small smile, that frenetic passion of before replaced for a moment with a deep and  sweet affection.

“Just how incredibly beautiful you are” he replied with unexpected candor, not one hint of doubt or cunning in his voice. Rey’s  dark  eyebrows rose up toward her hairline as she  gazed at him in  quiet  surprise, taken aback  for a moment by the  uncharacteristically  shy look in his  lovely  eyes .

She was not accustomed to  such expressions of  gentleness  and adulation  from this complicated hulk of a man.

“Thank you....I guess” she muttered back self-consciously, another pretty blush of pink spreading down her uncovered body. Ben hummed thoughtfully as he followed the rush of colour down her chest, his long fingers trailing down into the valley between her breasts with tentative fortitude. 

He stopped just short of the soft swell of flesh, uncertainty stalling his progress. His dark eyes flicked to Rey’s as she lay there, chest shuddering in anticipation now as her body thrummed with want for him.

Rey understood this heavy look and seeming procrastination of his almost immediately. Her answer found in the way his jaw twitched as he pressed his palm against the jumping, unsteady beat of her thundering heart. 

The heavy gulp of his throat telling her everything he couldn’t say with words.

_Ben was asking permission._

She smiled at him beatifically, taking his broad, pale wrist between her hands to move his rough palm toward her waiting breast. Guiding his hand to the spot she trembled for most. 

Rey welcomed his touch as she let out a long sigh of relief, his finger wrapping around the soft swell of it with little encouragement. That damn smirk of his returned as he saw how Rey reacted to these curious explorations, ego bristling with pride as she let out a low whimper as his thumb softly flicked over her nipple. He repeated it, squeezing a little harder this time as he huffed out in bewildered glee. Excitement filling those, bewitching eyes of his as he looked at Rey with such hope and happiness.

“Come here” she urged, pulling him close as he continued to clutch and brush upon her chest with little restraint. His attention too caught up in studying all these  new and subtle reactions he could draw from her, to realise what she wanted  most.

“Ben” Rey demanded a little more loudly, trying not to blatantly  cry out  as he chanced a quick , searching kiss to her collar bone . His eyes flicked with interest between the hardening points of her nipples as he switched hands, aiming to repeat his  same  enchanted treatment on her neglected  right  breast.

Contemplating, for one sordid moment, how it would feel to use his tongue on the inviting teat instead of his hand.

“ _ Ben _ !”  Rey hissed insistently, reaching to grasp his hair and turn his face back toward her blazing glare with a huff.

“Hmmm...” he grunted back, gaze glazed and unfocused now as he regarded her. His hands never ceasing their unscrupulous, but very much welcome, pawing upon her chest.

“For the love of  _ Gods _ , please can you just kiss me  again  already” Rey  bid him gruffly , pouting childishly at him as her impatience flared to the surface.

The colour rising on her cheeks  grew  a deeper shade of red now , as a new and uncontrolled desire lit in her core. Making her long for his kiss once more.

His mouth was like an intoxicating drug she never knew she needed.

Ben grinned at her cockily, biting at his lip as leaned closer but did not bridge the distance completely.

“You really are desperate for me, aren’t you?” he teased almost cruelly, his pupil blown as his own desires blazed  like errant sparks in his gut. The growl of frustration Rey let loose in reply, doing nothing to reduce his thirst for her. 

Kriff it all to hell, he had to be inside her soon.

“Not as hopeless as you are for me!” she shot back hotly, her uneven breathes panting against his face as she fought the urge to close that short gap herself.

“That...” Ben murmured seductively as he traced her cheek bone with his fingers, settling his grip just under her jutting chin.

“ ....remains to be seen dear Scavenger.”

He chuckled darkly as Rey seemed to scowl at him, his head dipping forward to break the tension and grant her this  yearned for wish.

Their lips met again in a hard clash of teeth and tongues as their appetites got the better of them. Hands drifting and exploring new uncharted territories as that instinct to claim and rut together became stronger.

Ben was dizzy and breathless, feeling almost faint as Rey kissed him relentlessly. 

As time dragged on a darkness tinged the edges of this intimate exchange that both excited him and terrified him. 

There was an aggression, a wicked desperation to her caresses now that fed and drew out the darkness within him too. This sinful animal of depravity and lust that cried at him to conquer and possess her in every possible way.

It drove him mad.

Rey was similarly incensed, her skin hot and prickling in wake of every touch he gave her. Teeth marking him as hers for evermore as she bit and nipped at his chest and neck. Feral and wild even as she tried to show her deep affection for him.

Their hips began to move against one another in earnest now, some relief needed as that ache between their thighs throbbed and craved friction. They ground together hard, pants and stuttered kisses escaping their mouths as Ben’s cock skimmed across the edge of Rey’s insistent and sensitive nub.

Blood rushing down from her abdomen and settling in the flushed lips of her sex as something primal quivered within.

Maker was it blissful.

But Ben had other things on his mind all of a sudden. Some long-forgotten jealousy rearing its head.

“Tell me" he seemed to order “tell me how the  Traitor’s mouth felt . How it compares to when I kiss you".

Rey should have felt displeased by his heated query, especially at a time like this, but instead it thrilled her somehow. 

This domineering, covetous part of him.

“There is no comparison” Rey whimpered back after a beat, body arching upwards as Ben’s hand  traced her exposed nipple with fiery eyes .

“Your kiss, it does something to me"

Her body  shuddered violently as he  took that same fondled breast into his warm , waiting mouth. Ben’s teeth  grazed upon it, suckling and licking the raised skin as his own chest  heaved with the  sounds of  pleasure  Rey let loose. Her eyes wide and glazed as she looked at him with such heavy need .

“What does it do to you?” he managed to whisper, mouthing at the hard peak of her, as his breathing quickened .

“ _ Tell me _ ".

Rey grasped his hand, pulling it down her body until the broad expanse of his palm met the scorching mound of her sex. 

“I'd rather show you" she whispered back huskily , curling her  slim  fingers around his to force the digits  down. Slipping  through her curls and into the wet, waiting lips below. Ben’s eyes widened, a gasp escaping his bruised and eager mouth as he felt the arousal  that  formed between her thighs.

The arousal he had caused.

It was magnificent, this hot and sticky mess that welcomed him.

Rey moved his hand again, rocking it back and forth through her folds slowly. Showing him where and how much pressure to apply, to satisfy that aching bundle of nerves at the top of her quim.

Ben did as he was asked,  silently  staring between their bodies with wonder as his fingers disappeared between the dark curls of her sex. Rey took her hand back, letting him explore by himself for a  few heated moments. Shuddering as those long fingers of his dipped lower and began to gently play upon her entrance.

“Does that tell you enough?” Rey shivered, burying her face into  the shelter of his  neck as the tip of one finger started push inside her after a few testing thrusts. His thumb circling the nub at the top with  soft,  but steady strokes.

“Yes" he growled back, the  free h and resting  by  her head abruptly  moving to grasp at her hair with  singular purpose.  Ben pulled  her face back up toward him  with unexpected force  to kissed her savagely. 

Driven insane by the soft mewling  from her lips as her  arousal built.  The  inner walls of muscle flexing as he began to  hit a  hidden spot of pleasure within her. 

His thick finger was joined by a second  as  he crooked  them back and forth, the pads brushing against a mass of nerves that made Rey quake in reply. 

She squirmed beneath him,  gasping in to  his mouth as  his  hand started to  pick up speed.

“Gods" Rey moaned in a low  and  almost inhuman  tone, increasingly  c ertain she was going to explode  if  Ben kept going at this merciless pace.

“ _ How _ are you so  _ good _ at this?”

Ben chuckled again, his lips curling up into a  self-satisfied smirk against her mouth.

“ You” he grunted back , his deep voice filled with a note of teasing as he pressed his fingers  into her harder .

“You’re  practically screaming what you want in your m ind ”

Rey blushed harder, perhaps  only noticing now just how open the bond had become. She pulled upon  the invisible thread there between them,  feeling Ben’s own churning emotion ripple just below the surface. Th is well of passion and something altogether deeper,  _ softer _ , flowing from his  heart.

“See..." he hummed  hungrily ,  feeling her  prod and probe at that  vibrating connection “ ….. it’s pretty hard  to ignore.”

Rey  snorted lightly,  mildly embarrassed  by her own transparency .

“Oh....”

Ben’s smirk deepened, a low huff of amusement  brushing over Rey’s jaw as he  shifted down to  kiss  at  her neck .

This slow, sensual movement of his  mouth upon her  skin stok ing t he  fires of want further and making her buck against his hand.

Release  looming closer.

“ Maker” Rey groaned, reaching down to  grasp at Ben’s broad wrist with surprising strength . 

“Whatever you do, don’t you dare stop right now !"

Her other hand tangled in his dark, dampening hair , gripping hard as the space between her legs began to quake. Ben grunted almost painfully in reply, enthralled by the sounds that seemed to slip from her mouth now. Rey’s chest strained upwards as her breathing accelerated, faint moans and mewls of pleasure resonating in his ear.

Ben took the offered prize into his mouth as Rey approached her zenith, the tip of her breast soft and silky upon his tongue as he gently ran the hot, wet muscle over it in slow, winding circles. 

Rey’s nails cut into his wrist, her hands clenching hard as wave after wave of ecstasy washed over her. Short circuiting her brain for a moment while her whole body flooded with relief and that exquisite rush.

Her fisted hands relaxed, both falling away from Ben as she flopped back, utterly  boneless, upon the filthy mattress. The ungodly squelch of Ben’s fingers as they slipped from her folds, telling her all she needed to know about the state of her sheets.

Ben’s eyes were bright and proud as he rose from her love bitten breast, his grin less cocky than she anticipated when his pretty eyes came to rest upon her face.

Rey snorted loudly, unable to find any other way to react to such things other than with  humour as her cheeks flushed pleasantly. Ben laughed too, dimples flashing as he regarded her with such longing, it made her chest hurt.

He shifted slightly above her, bringing his hand toward his mouth as he examined the remnants of her excitement on his fingers. Fascinated by the wet stickiness of it upon his skin.

Rey couldn’t help but gasp in surprise when Ben began to suck upon his sullied middle digit, oddly turned on by the sight of him tasting her so shamelessly. His tongue wrapped around the pad as he lapped up every drop of her from his skin. Humming happily as he met her stunned eyes with a rakish wink.

“Delicious....” Ben said saucily with a smack of his lips, his enticing smirk firmly in place “I look forward to tasting that again.”

Rey scoffed loudly, pulling him down towards her with shake of her head.

“Who says I’ll let you?” she retorted childishly, daring him to challenge her conviction as she wrapped her arms around his head.

“Oh...I know you will” Ben shot back defiantly, his fingers trailing down her side “You’ll  _ beg  _ me to do it”.

Rey shivered violently, unable to stop herself from gasping as his hands slide back up her body to rest upon her rib cage. His thumb brushing provocatively just under the soft swell of left breast.

Teasing her.

“Pride comes before the fall” she stuttered back, a low heat starting bubble within her.

_Maker_ , it had only been a few moments and yet, he was making her all hot and bothered all over again!

Ben chuckled, drawing his hand slowly up through the valley of her pert breast, completely unperturbed by her words.

“True....but with confidence....you always win, even before you’ve started” he countered with a low growl, feeling as Rey’s heartbeat skipped under his palm. Ben’s gaze was predatory as he locked eyes with her again, his desire clear even to Rey’s muddled, cloudy mind.

It was a longing that was entirely welcomed by her inexperienced, yet eager body. Libido reigning over every thought and instinct now.

_ But then. _

Rey felt a jolt of guilt as she realized Ben had been entirely neglected throughout this heated interlude, his overlooked cock painfully hot and hard now as it rested angrily beside her thigh.

She had to rectify this injustice immediately.

Driven on as much by her sense of equality and fairness, as by her insatiable curiosity and need to satisfy his every need, she started to reach for his heavy, blood filled manhood.

Ben’s tenacity wavered for a moment; his face growing stricken as he felt Rey’s slim, warm hand snake between their closely pressed bodies. Fingers closing over his aching member in tentative, uncertain strokes.

“Don’t....” Ben gushed out, his hand stilling hers as he gently prized her off him. Rey’s eyes dropped in humiliation and shame, her body tensing as she recoiled from his apparent rejection.

Ben’s eyes widened as he realized his mistake, letting go of her hands as  reached for her crumpled face.

“ Nononono ..... Rey it’s not like that”

Rey would not look at him,  her expression guarded and hurt as she glanced off into space .  Ben bit at his lip as  he cursed his rash behavior .

“ Rey...y ou’re so .... ” he began to backtrack, finding the words harder to form  now as his earlier confidence alluded him

“Maker Rey....you’re so damn alluring ..... but this night will end  _ very _ dully if you touch me there right now.”

Reys expression lightened,  gaze bemused by his confession  as her eyes finally met his once more.

“I....I’m barely holding it together as it is...”  he  explained with a flush of  embarrassment “your hands there .... well ..... it’ll all be over before  anything truly begins".

Rey's eyes widened as she caught his meaning,  understanding all at once the efforts he was making to remain in control.

“ So. ...” she started to say in a long breath,  the wheels of her mind turning as  Ben’s frown melted into an affectionate smile.

“I would very much like to revisit  this,  _ position _ we find ourselves in  another time...but right now...” he stalled, mouth flapping open as he suddenly felt  a rush of self- conscious terror fill him . 

His eyes drifted down to the sight of their bodies wrapped together, bare and marred by signs of their obvious passions. The ruddy color of their skin, hot and tender to the touch.

Kriff it, they were so close to what he wanted, to what he  _ needed _ .

Her, in every possible way.

“Right now ....you want to .....finish what we started" Rey ground out awkwardly.  Painfully aware just how little space remained between them now, his weeping, rigid cock a mere half inch from her sex.

Ben’s nostrils flared, swallowing down the urge to cry out his desperation for this coupling to continue. Knowing it would not be right to force this upon her, not if she was truly unready.

This night had already exceeded all his expectations, for Ben never had dreamed Rey would allow him such liberties when she first offered him a place in her bed. 

Just being here was enough.

“Only if you want to” he answered sweetly, tone even and sincere. Rey looked at him carefully, her eyes searching his face for something that seemed undefined yet glaringly important. Ben’s eyes did not break from hers, his gaze steady and full of understanding.

He was offering her a way out if she wanted, an escape he would accept, with no ill feeling or frustration, if she asked.

“I mean it Rey” he added quietly, taking her hand in his “only if  _ you  _ want to......I would never make you do this”

“Like you could” Rey teased gently, reaching for his face as she slipped her hands from his grip.

“You’ve never once bested me in a fight”.

Ben laughed, dimples forming again as he smiled.

“There’s still time....”

Rey ran her thumb down his face, tracing that path once more along the shallow line of his scar.

“Ben... .”she began, her cheeks paling for a moment as she gathered her courage and stared at Ben’s plush mouth “I.....I want to”.

Her bunk mate's smile broadened as he pulled her closer, making them both shiver as their bare, warm skin brushed together. Their nerves firing pleasurably as these sensations overtook them

“ So do I” Ben rumbled honestly, his smile still beaming brightly as he leaned to down to kiss her soundly. Their momentary awkwardness forgotten in a rush of eager touches and the hot, breathless movements of their mouths.

That need reigniting so quickly, Ben could not wait any longer.

He pulled back, looking deeply into her eyes as his jaw twitched nervously. Rey simply nodded, knowing he needed little else encouragement.

It was time.

Ben rocked back onto his heels, forcing Rey’s legs further apart as he pressed upon her knees. She was glistening below, the flesh of her lower lips a dark red as she trembled in anticipation. 

Ben was mesmerized by the sight of it, for though he had earlier felt the softness of her entrance with his own hand, he had not expected such beauty in its shape. To see her now, in all her inflamed glory, it was magnificent.

He was filled with a sort of sordid glee at the thought he would soon find himself ardently buried within it.

Provided he could actually collect his racing, sinful thoughts long enough to do it!

Shaking himself free of this reverie, he started to lean forward. Taking his cock in hand to ready himself for what was about to follow. Rey watched in rapt attention as this foreign part of him moved against her, catching a glimpse for the first time the effect she was having upon him. This hard mass of his arousal jutting through his big, masculine hands.

He was bigger there than she had anticipated, _not that she had much to compare it to anywa_ y, but the sheer size of him made her blood run cold for a moment. 

Ben was proportionally big all over, but ....she had not been expecting such a surprise between his thighs!

She tried not to stare, ripping her prying eyes back up toward his face as she pushed passed her immediate rush of panic. It was all going to be fine, _she hoped_.

“Do you even know what you’re doing?” Rey asked meekly, a flirtatious smile flashing at Ben as he slowly slid himself up and down in her folds. Coating his twitching member in the wetness her sex provided. 

“Not exactly” Ben snorted, face full of mirthful embarrassment “but I’m more than happy to find out”.

Rey’s chest quivered in reply, pupils expanding to an inky blank as she focused upon the lovely friction his hard cock was causing against her lips. She reached for his shoulders, pulling him close to add more pressure upon the part of her that ached for attention.

Ben rolled his hips harder, hearing how her breath stuttered every time his thick head trailed over her clit.

_ Maker _ , it was like music to his ears.

He let go of his cock, choosing instead to grasp at her hip as he angled her pelvis upwards. Changing the angle and making Rey groan louder. The feel of her lips surrounding him fully, it was intoxicating.

He surged forward, catching her mouth with his own as he moaned against her tongue.

Rey’s whole body tensed as Ben rocked harder against her, making her so wet and needy it was almost shameful. She arched her hips up in time with his as she forced his member deeper and deeper into her sex, desperate to fill that unknown and unwavering yearning she felt.

Ben huffed loudly, overcome by the tight, throbbing heat of her beneath him. This sensual imitation of sex no longer satisfying the lustful beast within him.

Reaching down, he re-positioned himself at the pulsing, slippery mess of her entrance, the head of him pressing upon the relaxed barrier of muscle with a heavy sigh.

He pulled back, staring down at Rey as she stuttered at the frantic look in his eyes. His self-control at this point, held together by barely a thread.

“Do it” she whispered huskily, forcing the words out of her mouth before fear got the better of her.

Ben let out an almost pained moan as he closed his eyes for a split second, letting her words permeated his mind for a moment. His heart thundering in his chest.

This was the point of no return.

His eyes snapped open, gaze dark and filled with feverish desire as he locked upon her face. Rey took a deep breath as he started to slowly push forward, a pinching, burning pain coming from her core as he tore through her as gently as he could. The task almost impossible it seemed, for her tender lips revolted against the incursion. Making her tense and whimper as he filled her with great restraint.

Ben was immediately guilt ridden as he felt, as well as saw, her clear discomfort. Willing his hips to stop even as his entire body protested the decision.

“No” Rey hissed through gritted teeth “Keep going, I’m fine”

She looked almost enraged he would consider the alternative, her fingernails digging into the thick muscles of Ben’s back as she urged him deeper. 

Adjusting the position of her hips to aid his entry, the initial sharp pain quickly faded as her body slowly became accustomed to his intrusion.

“Please” she whispered more calmly this time as she implored him not to stop.

Ben did as he was told, gulping hard as he pushed in as far as he could go. 

His breath stuttered loudly as the base of his cock met the dark curls of her mound, his balls nestling up against the soft round of her ass.

Gods it was perfect.

Conscious he could definitely hurt her if he was clumsy, Ben tentatively drew back his hips before pushing back into her with little force. Repeating the action over and over again until the uncertain look in Rey’s eyes melted to a glassy and contented stare. Her face relaxing as small lick of pleasure rolled up her back.

She arched upward, chasing his mouth as she started move in time with his cautious thrusts.

Wrapping her thighs around his hips, Rey coaxed him deeper as she began to lick and kiss at his panting mouth in earnest. Her heels pressed so hard against his  backside, Ben couldn’t help but fall into rhythm. Each thrust growing quicker and harder as Rey began to groan in reply. Her nails dug sharply into his shoulders as Ben moved with a renewed purpose and growing confidence.

The noise she was making now as he plundered her sex and mouth, a deliciously addictive sound to his ears.

All attempts at gentleness and restraint disappearing in the wake of her obvious pleasure. Ben tore his mouth from Rey’s lips, his tongue tracing down her quaking body to capture a straining nipple in his hold. Her hips bucked harder as her back arched to give Ben better access. 

He growled low and deep as he felt her walls clench upon him, a new release starting to build for them both. Nipping upon her breast harder, he drilled into her centre with little mercy as Rey whimpered loudly. It was half pleasure and half pain, but Rey was too far gone to register the difference.

She wrapped her fingers through his hair as she forced his mouth back to hers, tasting the salty tang of her skin upon his tongue. 

It was intoxicating.

Rey bit hard on his lower lip as his thrust came short and fast, almost drawing blood as she clawed upon his back.

It was relentless.

The remnants of  Kylo Ren roaring to the surface as sought to claim her as his, and his alone.

And yet, she hadn’t expected anything less.

This passionate, violence that had always fueled their intense attraction, was a volatile enigma. She reveled in it.

But as he began to thrust harder, moving in a way that seemed entirely for his own benefit, it did feel on some level as if she were just a vessel for his gratification in this moment.

A means to an end and a thing to be used.

And worst of all, Ben felt it too, like a shot to the gut.

The bond broadcasting her errant thought like a blaring siren.

It shook him to know that t he monster of his alter ego, this agent of self-interest, could sour so quickly a moment meant for such reverence and devotion. He pushed this demon of his past aside, killing the anger and bitterness that had ruined his character for far too long.

Ben would not wear the mask of darkness  anymore, he did not need it.

Not now.

And in the midst of that heady, fiery moment, he paused. The  pistoning of his forceful hips slowing to a languid pace as he looked at Rey, truly looked at her.

The bright green of her eyes shining as they gazed up at him, mouth open as she gasped with hazy pleasure beneath him.

Seeing perhaps, for the first time just what lay behind those lovely eyes of her. The softness that was held there, this sweet look of affection he had misread for so long as pity for him.

_ No _ .

There, in that moment he saw it, he finally saw it.

Clear as day.

She loved him. Completely, passionately and unconditionally. 

Rey’s brow creased in slight concern at the forlorn look she found in Ben's face, the suddenly slowing of his thrusts as he stared at her pulling her back to reality. In his gaze lay an expression she found indecipherable. 

Reaching up to cup his cheek, her touch was more tender than they had been since this interlude had begun.

"Ben....Ben what's wrong?"

He smiled back at her so sweetly, her heart seemed to skip a beat in her chest, seeing once more the soft affection of Ben bleeding into his gaze.

Leaning forward he kissed her deeply, pulling back only to gently rub his nose against hers as he whispered upon her mouth.

"Absolutely nothing sweetheart"

Rey accepted his next kiss willingly even as she still pondered that bittersweet look Ben had given her.

Deciding it best to let things lies for now and allow herself instead to relish the new depth and friction Ben’s slower, longer strokes were causing in rhythm with his mouth. Her walls quivering as he coaxed something deep and undiscovered within her. Groaning in response as his left hand snaked down to press upon her nub with halting but determined feather light touches.

Whatever had changed within him in that small lull of silence, she liked it.

His attention now focused upon her needs, this smoother and less aggressive coupling sent Rey higher than before. The deeper thrusts hitting a neglected bundle of nerves she had not even realized existed. 

This tremble of added pleasure arched her back, pressing her small chest up tighter against his. The steady rock of his flushed, dampened torso against the peaks of her nipples caused another moan to rumble from the depths of her diaphragm. Ben could do nothing but pant in reply, his cock pulsing with each groan. 

His resistance swiftly falling to the wayside.

What had warped to a frenzied physical fumble of pent up anger and frustrationm was transformed to a deeper and more intimate coupling as Ben's clouded mind flew open. Seeking and entangling itself with  Rey's frayed thoughts, tendrils of consciousness sharing every hum of pleasure from both parties.

Ben's thrusts gained speed again as he felt, as well as heard her impending climax, his own not far behind. Pushing him deeper with her heels upon his ass, Rey pulled back from his kiss. Eyes screwing shut as she threw her head back, perfect white teeth sawing down upon her lip as a whimper escaped her mouth. 

She rode this peak of ecstasy over its edge as her whole body tensed against the deluge, her mouth widening in a silent, overwhelmed cry that shuddered up her chest. Ben's own climax lasting several more thrusts as he buried his face in her neck. Prolonging that rolling crescendo that pulsed through them and rose Rey up once more. Pushing her to come again so hard she dug her teeth into his shoulder.

Biting down on dense muscle as she groaned out in a low  whimper of desperation , body  overwhelmed and oversensitive.

And  then there was nothing but  a b rilliant white silence  and the rapid rise and fall of their breathless chests to break the  tension .

Utterly sated.

A warm contentment fill ed them as the frenzy died away and  all that was left behind was the buzzing,  comforting  sweetness of their connection.

A feeling so joyful the  bonded Force purred and basked  in their union.

"Maker ..... am I still alive.... _because_....  what just happened....  can’t be real." Ben’s muffled voice huffed against her skin. Soft lips t ickling  Rey's neck as he abruptly chuckled to himself.

Utterly bewildered.

Petting his damp and d isheveled waves, Rey  too  chuckled lightly  as she delighted in the afterglow of their  coupling. Too lost in the moment to pay much attention to the sticky mess of Ben’s  spend cooling  between her legs . The fruits of this irresponsible  act could be dealt with later, right now, Rey just wanted to enjoy this new closeness.

This atmosphere of budding  intimacy, was the happiest feeling she had ever had, or would probably ever  have .

So she was going to  savor it, unapologetically. 

Ben satisfied  and  softening cock still  lay  snugly wrapped  within her  centre as neither  party made any attempt to move. Reluctant to  separate or disconnect  in any way , and lose this precious moment together. 

“Rey….?” Ben mused cheerily, nuzzling  in closer to the side of her throat as he  purred happily .  His a udible contentment rising as she began to  gently scratch against his scalp with her nails , her slim fingers  threading through his thick , black locks.

“Tell me the truth,  is this real?”

Rey kissed the crown of head as  she  smiled in t o  his hair.

“Yes, it’s real.”

“So …. I’m not dead.” Ben whispered back with little seriousness , pressing a small, chaste kiss to the hollow of her neck.

“No ….but I soon will be with all this dead weight on me!” she shot back  with a  light snort , pushing  halfheartedly at his  lazy,  slumped shoulder .

Ben  grumbled sulkily  in  protest,  not  wanting to move  even one inch from her soft,  slim body.

“You’ll be fine" .

“Ben!” Rey giggled in disbelief, oddly amused by his petulance and drowsy persistence.

“You’re crushing me!”

“Am not” he argued back, wrapping her arms tighter round her middle as he grunted sleepily.

“Ben....” Rey warned a little more sternly “You need to get off me ..... you’re too damn big.”

“Five minutes” he complained again, shifting a little to redistribute his considerable weight away from her chest. Rey sighed in defeated, running her fingers slowly through his hair as he hummed happily at this small victory. 

“Fine, you have five minutes”.

Ben’s plush lips kissed at her throat again as settled himself into the crook of her neck. Letting out a long, sleepy sigh as she continued to play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

Both lovers worn out now as the adrenaline began to fade.

However, this moment of contentment and peace was regrettably broken in an instant , when  Chewie’s unmistakably  booming voice , suddenly burst through the door. The young couple having no time to readjust or cover themselves before the unfortunate Wookie thundered into  their cabin.

<Sunshine, lights been flickering on and off for last twenty minutes, you know....>

The old Wookie made a gurgling noise as he choke in horror. Becoming even more incomprehensible than normal as whatever he was about to say, left his mouth in a jumble of uncomfortable babbles. His kind, blue eyes widened as he stared at the tawdry scene in front of him, c ompletely aghast as both their wide, shocked eyes turned to face him.

Ben’s whole bodyfroze as Rey instantly tensed below him, the young man _very_ much aware Chewie could undoubtedly see his pale, bare backside in the low cabin lights. The long, line of his torso completely on show as he remained motionless between his paramour's thighs.

Rey was thankfully covered by  the  broad  expanse of his  body, nothing but her legs and face  to be seen  beneath his hunched and shielding  posture. She would be spared that embarrassment at least !

That being said,  her nakedness was the least of her worries. For  it was hard to ignore or avoid thinking about  anything else but embarrassed panic, when  Ben’s semi-hard cock still  laid far within Rey’s wet  centre . His softening member buried several inches deep even now.

Maker, there was no way  Chewie would think this scene was _anything_ but sex, for one, t he  flush  position of  their hips  was a dead giveaway.

This was a disaster of magnificent proportions!

For, there they lay in the aftermath of fevered copulation, all while  Rey’s  surrogate father and his ersatz uncle stared at them in utter revulsion.

Ben could do nothing but stare back at the hairy creature, mouth hanging open in  sheer dismay as he readied himself to run and hide.

He  was sure the  old, cantankerous  Wookie would  not  take kindly to his thoughtless  corruption of Rey.

Things could not get anymore awkward . 

Chewbacca’s nostrils flared as he caught the heady scent pheromones and other musky, darker things, he truly wished he could recognise. He blinked rapidly and promptly turned around as the shock subsided, the skin under his fur turning hot and scarlet.

_ Maker _ , the whole room practically stank of sex.

<Chewbacca going to leave now ..... deepest apologies> he said awkwardly,  usually deep,  imposing voice a high and uncomfortable squeak.

Hurriedly stepping out of the room, he seemed to mumble unconsciously to himself aloud before moving out of earshot.

< Well that is one way to  show Boy is  sorry ....>

Rey exhaled loudly, covering her face with her hands as soon as the trauma of this  moment washed over her .

“Please say that just didn’t happen....”

“ Ehmmm ....” Ben beg an slowly , still  warily e yeing the door in case the hot-tempered Wookie had a sudden change of heart . Ben anticipating Chewie would p erhaps think the better of his  swift  exit, before returning to  beat Ben  to  death with his own severed arms. 

It was still very much a possibility even as the minutes ticked by .

“Nope ..... no it  definitely did Rey”.

“ Kark !” Rey growled behind her hands “Why didn’t we lock the  kriffing door ?”

“I was a little distracted” Ben shot back, a hysterical giggle bubbling in his chest  he just  couldn’t help. How else was he supposed to react to this unmitigated disaster, but with slight madness?

“At least we were finished when he walked in....” he added with an obvious snort, gently pulling Rey’s hands from her space.

“Finished!  _ Finished _ ! Your cock is still  _ inside  _ me Ben ..... this could not  BE _ any _ worse.” Rey exclaimed, unable to stop  an unexpected  giggle of her own from  bursting  through . Ben grinned at her as his chest shook in  violent laughter , his boyish dimples a disarming look  despite their awkward plight.

Rey rolled her eyes  at him  before joining in , giggling so hard hot tears rolled down her face in laughter .

“I don’t think I’ll be able to look him in the eye ever again" she  sniggered louder.

“At least he didn’t see your ass" Ben guffawed, the soundly almost too goofy for her to believe he had actually made it. Rey roared unexpectedly as she cackled even louder, embarrassment forgotten as this fit of amusement overtook her. 

“Thank the Gods for small mercies”

The pair continued to shriek and giggle, their sides hurting as the belly laughs kept rolling on.

Ben collapsed again Rey once more as their laughter slowly abated and a sense of calm and ease was restored. He gently reached down and slowly unseated himself, trying not to wince as he felt a rush of warm, thick liquid seep from Rey’s sex as they finally separated. 

He tried not to ponder how their sheets would look in a few hours.

It was too disgusting to even think about!

Rey sighed heavily as Ben’s weight shifted a little off her, his face still buried by to her chest even as he tried to give her space. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him closer, not wanting to let him part just yet.

“Just one more minute” she begged quietly, nuzzling against his temple unashamedly.

Ben huffed in surprise, taken aback by her lingering neediness.

Not that he minded in any way.

Raising his head from the crook in her neck , Ben gave her the sweetest smile, those dark eyes a liquid chocolate as he looked at her.

Her own hazel eyes  were  a warm moss green at this close distance, her hand playing with the soft waves of his hair with a contented hum.

Ben had never felt so happy in his damn life, knowing if things went wrong once the Falcon reached  Exegol , this was what he would cling to.

This moment here with her.

This moment where nothing else mattered but him and he r.

N ot the war, not the things that held them apart  for so long  or the reasons they  once been enemies. 

Not the First Order or the Resistance. 

Not  the mistakes of L uke Skywalker  or the darkness of  Rey's past

His mother .

H er friends.

_ Palpatine _ . 

None of it was important any more.

And for that brief, love filled second, all that existed was them.

All that mattered was the  beauty and home they found in  each other.

But alas, even in the midst of their  sacred, secret  little World, reality began to creep in.

Time marching on.

Rey’s contented face slowly  fell as a  new and overwhelming dread  filled her heart.

Anxiety rising , as the strength  of the feelings she felt for the man she held between her arms, almost broke her. 

For she  now  knew , unequivocally,  what she  would lose if Ben did not make it back alive.  She now knew the beauty of  this t hing that existed  between them , the power it had. It was like learning to breath e  again .

To be  left alone in  this world  once more, devoid of his warm presence in her mind, his strong arm around her waist,  it was a  veritable death sentence. 

Her soul  already  mournful at the thought of a future without him.

_Kark_ _it_ , why had they wasted so much time in conflict ?

All that precious time they could have spent united like this, being simple people with simple needs, that owed no duty to the  galaxy .

Life and the Force were simply not that fair!

Ben's own features twisted into a  concerned frown.

His heart plunging into his gut as he caught the sour tang of her  morose  thoughts as they  crackled like errant currents between them.

"Hey, don't even consider it. " he whispered  soothingly , tracing his thumb along her cheek.

"I'm right here .... I'm not going anywhere. Not anymore."

Rey nodded as  tears pricked at her eyes.

"Promise me you'll come back?" She said weakly her throat tight with sudden pain.  Ben’s face softened, expression awash with understanding and sympathy.

"I'll come back for you  sweetheart, I promise " 

Leaning down he kissed her gently, swallowing down his own despair and uncertainty. Hiding away the absolute terror he felt at what they were about to attempt.  Knowing on every level, just how much rested upon their shoulders.

How the Galaxy and life as they knew it,  bled for their victory.

Pulling back Rey looked at him sadly.

"I'm afraid Ben, so terribly afraid. What if we can't do this?"

"We will......I know we will." Ben answered  softly as he cupped her cheek ,  tone earnest yet firm. 

_ Resolute _ .

"I believe in you ......I believe in  _ us _ "

Rey’s features twisted as she squirmed in discomfort, her eyes drifting to a spot  just  above Ben's head. Unable to look at him  as her long buried self - doubt began to show .

"That's what everyone says" she murmured , her voice almost bitter " ...th at  they  _ believe _ __ in me, that I  give them hope ”.

She paused, her face  scr unching up in unease as this hidden well of shame, rose like bile in her throat.

“ They think  I'm this infinitely brave thing ... .. I'm not ..... "

Her voice faltered again,  her throat dry and sore as an  unexpressed grief plagued her.

Her eyes  were hard and haunted when she  looked at Ben  again . Her gaze brief but loaded with  hopelessness before it dropped from his compassionate eyes.

“People keep telling me they know me ..... ”

Rey sighed  heavily; her voice small as she  started to speak again in halting beats.

“N o one does" .

Ben  sh ook  his head, catching  Rey u nder her chin as he tilted  her face  up.

“But I do" he whispered, this fierce look on his face.

“ I  _ know  _ you Rey _ ". _

Rey blinked back at him, letting out a slow exhale of troubled breath. Her chest jolted for a moment or two before it slowed to an even rhythm, that sudden terror and hysteria fading away as she looked at Ben with new eyes. Finding nothing but hope and faith for her in his steady gaze.

She could feel him in her head now, a warm and comforting presence that sought to calm her worries. A soft whisper in her mind that gave nothing but light and strength to nourish her weary soul.

No one else would ever know her like Ben did, she could see that now.

A solitary tear escaped from the corner of her eye as she sighed almost in relief, this terrible burden of expectation halved somehow. 

“I know you...” Ben repeated with determination as he read that lingering look of uncertainty in her face.

He looked deep into her eyes, urging her to believe him and listen to his words 

“There is no way you will fail ....I won’t let you.”

Rey searched his face, expression guarded as she chewed upon her lip. 

“You promise?” she managed to say hoarsely, her voice thick with dark emotion.

Ben nodded.

“I promise”.

There was another long beat of silence between them as they listened to the delicate sound of the others heavy breath, their eyes locked together in some strange dance only they knew the steps to.

Rey’s gloomy grimace faded as her face brightened little by little, a slow smile spreading across her lips.

Ben smiled back at her, his eyes a rich whiskey as they alighted with affection and hope once more.

Leaning down, he kissed her soft and slow.

Savoring every moment and every touch as time skipped on, quietly hopeful each kiss would not be their last.

Their unknown future was hurtling toward them faster now, the inevitable battle for their lives rising like the blazing sun beyond the horizon. 

Taunting them.

But for now, they chose not to listen.

A sweeter song of belonging and want ringing in their ears.

Giving them a greater reason to hope, to live.

_ To survive. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fluff will be strong with the epilogue....#softben and #softrey


	7. Learning to Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of that final battle, some harsh decision must be made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends,
> 
> And so, we have reached the end of this tale. What began as 10k word story, exploded into 40k+ mini novel.  
> But, in the the end, I sincerely enjoyed the ride.
> 
> As promised, we are ending on a saccharine rich and fluffy ending. There is very little on the battle of Exegol, because it was never meant to be the focus of the story.
> 
> The timeline has several jumps, some small and some a little longer.....because I couldn't quite say goodbye and the ending changed from when I wrote it last week!
> 
> I hope you like our idiots in love finding their happy ever after, it was very much wish fulfillment.  
> I have had the best fun writing this fic and I'm so sad let it go :(
> 
> PLEASE send me Kudos and comments if you liked the ending, I need to know people are actually still reading my stuff haha....that obvs does not include my regular commentators, you have been my rocks and inspirations :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy our epilogue and I will see you all in my other WIP soon.
> 
> Love,  
> RedCatRen

* * *

EPILOGUE

* * *

In the end, the battle with Palpatine nearly killed them both. Ben bearing the brunt of the Emperor's wrath as he unleashed the full hell and might of his dark power.

He had tried, but ultimately failed, to launch Ben down a deep ravine when Rey had caught his flailing body just in time.

Her strength flaring unexpectedly as her anger and determination built like a storm.

For when it came down to it, the malignant wraith could not break them.

He could not stop what Rey and Ben could become together.

A dyad.

_Two that are one._

He didn't stand a chance.

“Your coming together, will be your undoing." Palpatine had roared in frustration as the cobalt blue lightening crackled from his wizened, rotten hands.

"No" Rey argued fiercely, stepping forth with Ben as they moved as one toward the Emperor. Sabres held aloft as they held back the sparks that sought to strike them down.

"It will be yours".

There had been a tremendous bang not long after this, the energy that had built blasting the combatants apart.

And then, the World went dark for Ben Solo.

* * *

It was a full twenty-four hours later before Ben came too again. Finding himself unexpectedly resting on that same slightly too soft mattress he'd befouled only days before, Rey’s bruised but glowing face rising to meet him.

His vision swum in and out of focus as her pretty features blurred in his exhausted, dust ridden eyes. 

Everything ached. 

His head especially.

There were broken bones and torn, tender skin under the layers and layers of bacta Rey had spread upon his body.

Figure beaten, but very much still alive. 

“Did we win?” he mumbled faintly, gaze glazed and almost delirious. Ben’s head felt fuzzy now as she smiled back him tenderly. She shifted closer, leaning over his supine body as she sat at the edge of the bunk. 

“Yes Ben, we won. It’s all over.” 

Her expression was filled with that same drained weariness he felt in his bones, _but in her eyes_ ; there in her eyes he saw such ecstasy he couldn’t help but smile back despite the pain.

Relief a powerful drug. 

“It’s over?”. 

Rey nodded gleefully; her beaming smile joined by streams of flowing happy tears as leaned over to kiss him gently. 

“We’re free” she whispered against his mouth, her fingers carefully tracing the healing split skin on his lip. 

“We saved the Galaxy” 

Ben exhaled loudly in disbelief, his grin widening until the dimples Rey loved so much made a permanent home in his cheeks. 

Behind them, Chewie cleared his throat awkwardly before stepping in closer to the bunk with heavy steps. The old Wookie wore a pristine, white bandage wrapped over his left bicep; his huge, hairy arm half covered by the tightly wound material.

He had clearly been a casualty of the battle as much them. 

Chewbacca gurgled softly in discomfort, gripping at his injured arm with a moan as he moved. The jostling motion of his laden steps doing nothing to help with the situation. 

He grunted unhappily before fixing his old, wise eyes on Ben’s wane form. 

<Boy fight well, father would be proud.>

Ben’s face grew somber, a deep pang of regret and sorrow throbbing in his chest. He nodded back at the Wookie, not knowing else what to say in reply. 

What could he say back to that? 

The old, space pirate felt an immediate rush of sympathy for him, knowing the odious man that had committed that heinous crime was not the man that lay weakly in front of him now. 

Chewbacca would never forgive Kylo Ren for killing Han, his best friend, his brother in arms, _but_ , Chewbacca would forgive Ben Solo. 

The lost boy who saved what he loved most in the end. 

<Princess be proud > Chewie added gently, laying a huge paw on Ben’s bare shoulder. 

<Chewbacca proud too>. 

Ben exhaled heavily, giving his old friend a watery smile as he nodded. 

“Thank you”. 

The Wookie grunted, stepping back again to look at Rey with a slight apprehension. 

Knowing already on some unknown level, things were about to change forever. 

<Falcon set to jump soon, should Chewbacca call Princess and set course to base?>

Rey stiffened, her eyes drifting to Ben’s pale face for a moment as her thoughts mulled over the options. There was no way she could take him back to the Resistance.

It would be a veritable death sentence all over again.

Licking at her lips, she dragged her gaze back up to Chewie with a determined set to her jaw. 

“Actually....” 

* * *

Finn had worn down the dry grass under his feet to a pale brown as he paced around the clearing the following morning. What little greenery existed after the sweltering Summer they'd had, was quickly ground to dust under his stomping feet. 

Not that he noticed this accidental destruction. His focus set elsewhere.

He turned face up toward the sky, eyes anxiously watching the cornflower blue for any small sign of the Millenium Falcon. Keen to catch the steely grey freighter as it entered the familiar atmosphere of Ma’Tru. 

“Finn, seriously buddy....you need to calm down. You’ll wear the soles off your boots soon doing that” Poe teased, his almond colored eyes filled with a playful good humor as he smirked at his friend.

Finn shot him a withering look as the Commander lounged languidly on a nearby tree stump, snorting loudly as he brought the near empty bottle of mead to his lips. 

Dameron was clearly still drunk from the night before. 

And why shouldn’t he? 

The war was over, and their little rag tag group of rebels and scoundrels had every reason to celebrate hard on the night of their greatest victory. 

They had won, despite everything. 

First Order had surrendered to Leia in its entirety after the news of Palpatine’s demise had broken, no one left to take up their mantle of opposition now their Supreme Leader had been declared missing in action. The temporary armistice having taught them how little enthusiasm and need there was to continue this fight.

It was over. 

So Poe had every right to keep the party going well into the next morning, there was much to celebrate! So he was happy to keep the festivities going until he about passed out, even if his cozy bed and a very eager Jessica Pava ,were starting to insistently call from the base. 

They would have to wait. 

Poe would not retire until the very last ship made it home safe.

General Organa was remarkably bright eyed and well kempt as she approached the pair at the proposed landing site. Dameron could find not a single hair out of place, despite knowing full well, Leia had imbibed more than her fair share of whiskey and mead last night. 

“Any sign?” she asked brusquely, a single grey brow rising in a wry look of judgement as her eyes fell on her soon to be second in command, Poe, with a tired smile. She shook her head with a chuckle as she took in his inebriated state and creased uniform. He simply grinned back amiably, completely unperturbed and raising his bottle in mock salute. 

“No, nothing yet” Finn sighed darkly, gazing up at the beautiful morning sky with growing worry. 

“Well....I’m sure they won’t be long” Leia said kindly, patting him on the shoulder before she set herself down on a log a few paces away. 

“Chewie said they had to make a quick stop off before they made the final jump home” Poe added with a shrug, draining his bottle as he fixed Finn a look of nonchalance.

Finn huffed unhappily, tearing his gaze back up toward the big, blue open sky. 

And as if on cue, the low, rumble of an approaching engine broke through the tranquil morning above them. The familiar sight of that old Corellian freighter like a shining beacon in the glaring early sunlight, blinding them slightly as it descended swiftly toward them. 

Finn rushed across the dry, cracked ground as the ship came into land, Poe walking at speed not far behind him. 

Leia however, hung back, sensing something amiss. 

The Force around her feeling oddly empty and devoid of Rey’s usual warmth. 

She quickly knew why.

Finn’s dark face grew pale and panic stricken when only Chewie’s imposing figure exited the Falcon, the anticipated sound of Rey’s following footsteps never coming. Looking back at Poe and Leia desperately, their faces wore the same confused expression of dread as him. 

“Chewie....where is she....where is Rey?” he whimpered in disbelief, looking up at his old friend with new despair. 

<Sunshine is gone> he answered plainly, his eyes full of bittersweet hope as he met Leia’s probing gaze. The older woman’s dejected expression softened as something tender and secret passed between them. 

“But....she...she’s coming back, right?” Poe offered expectantly, catching the knowing look in Leia’s eyes. 

“Maybe one day” the General speculated with a shrug, giving Chewie a muted but joyful smirk as her eyes shined with something akin to hope. 

“But...but...but...she wouldn’t just leave without saying goodbye” Finn spluttered, heart aching at the thought. 

<Sunshine didn’t> Chewie gurgled softly, reaching into his knapsack and retrieving a slip of faded, off-white paper. 

<Girl wanted Trooper to have this>

Turning to Leia, he reached into his bag again and handed her a small, blue baby sock and another slip of dog-eared paper. 

<For Princess....Sunshine give Chewbacca this>. 

Leia stared at the sock and the small letter with another sad smile, understanding now without a doubt three simple truths. 

One, her son was alive and finally free from the dark that plagued him.

Two, Rey had absconded with Ben in flagrant disregard of military protocol and had technically just committed all manner of insubordination.

And thirdly,her son, was _loved_ by Rey beyond measured. 

Leia nodded slowly before turning on her heel and walking back to the base without a word. Clutching that small sock of blue to her chest and hoping, one day, she would see the owner of it one last time. 

“What about Ren?” Poe asked suspiciously, watching as Finn sadly turned the letter of goodbye in his dark hands. 

Chewbacca looked at the wary Commander carefully, not really caring to ask how he knew the First Order leader had traveled with them, before shrugging nonchalantly as he answered as honestly as he could.

<Dead, last time Chewbacca checked>

He shrugged again as Poe eyed him with slight mistrust. 

“Dead?” he repeated slowly, as though he had little belief in the concept. 

<Dead....Monster dead and gone> Chewie answered simply, his gaze steady and unflinching in the face of Poe’s blatant suspicion. The Commander sighed heavily, seeing no sign of dishonesty in the Wookie’s hairy expression. 

He too shrugged and ambled back toward the base without another word, too tired and too disappointed to delve any further. Knowing a beautiful, wonderful woman waited for him in his cabin and he should just let things lie for now.

Life, unfortunately, always moved on no matter what we did or what we wanted. 

Poe knew this unequivocally. 

You could only ever reach and grab what few moments of happiness fate granted you and accept the many things you could not change. 

Life moved on. 

If Rey didn’t want to be found, they would all have to learn to live with that. 

Finn, however, was having a harder time facing this truth. 

Chewbacca threw his long, powerful arm around Finn as he coaxed the dejected man forward. His fingers trembling as he held the still unopened paper in his hands. 

He let his friend guide him out of the dusty clearing, forcing one foot in front of the other as he walked slowly back toward the quiet, sleeping barracks. 

“Chewie....” Finn began, face full of sorrow and hurt as tried to process this feeling of abandonment. 

“Is she...” he started again, looking up at Chewbacca with clear concern. 

“Is Rey happy, is she safe?” 

The old Wookie smiled, squeezing the young man’s shoulders reassuringly. 

<Yes....Sunshine will be okay. One day...Chewbacca promise, one day...everyone see Sunshine again>. 

* * *

Despite the clear complications, it took very little time for Rey to decide and set a plan. Ben had tried to argue against Rey's wishes at first, conscious of just how much she was leaving behind.

Just for him.

But, in the end, he wouldn't be without her either.

They only had one choice.

After Chewbacca had left them on Ahch-To as agreed, Ben and Rey had flown in Ben's cramped, single seated TIE Silencer all the way to the Jakku. Choosing the dusty backwater as the safest place to trade for more comfortable transport.

Rey had driven a hard bargin with the cunning Niima trader, knowing the beady eyed little Teedo coveted the starfighter for parts. His want for the ship was greater than her asking price and so, he grudgingly swapped the sleek TIE fighter for a modest, and albeit, slightly run down light freighter.

Ben had chuckled as Rey argued animatedly with the sneaky native in its guttural tongue, never loving her more than at that moment as she hacked and spitted her way to an agreement.

Rey positively beamed as the negotiation ended and she eagerly pointed Ben toward their new, faded blue freighter. The thing was a definite fixer upper, _but_ , at least it was less of a hunk of junk than the Falcon.

Ben smiled as she dragged him forward to examine the ship better, his makeshift crutch making slow work through the soft sand. He couldn't help but feel a warm burst of affection for her as she chattered on eagerly about the freighters spec and better than expected engine. Nodding in defeated as she insisted upon calling the freighter _The Raptor_ in honor of the Falcon. 

He could deny her nothing.

The deal for the ship, as it turned out, had been expertly sweetened by Rey, to include some new civilian, functional clothes and a DL-44 blaster for Ben. His old First Order uniform was burned alongside many others, as hundreds of lost stormtroopers and junior officers of the beaten regime, flocked to the trading outpost to renounce their former lives. 

Scorching the remnants of their past as they began again. 

Ben sighed as he watched the orange flames consume these last bastions of Kylo Ren, his cloak turning to ash as the fire took everything in its path. 

“Let the past die” he muttered to himself, his heart skipping a beat as he felt Rey’s hand close over his own.

“It's the only way to become who you were meant to be.” Rey finished for him, smiling up at Ben so sweetly, it filled his soul in ways nothing else had before. 

“You kept your boots” she teased, looking down at his inky, black leather footwear with a grin. The rest of his new outfit was a mixture of light browns and muted creams, these lighter shades now seemed at odds with the dark, imposing boots on his large feet. 

“I like my boots” he retorted huffily “they're comfortable”. 

Rey laughed, dragging him toward their freighter as he continued to bemoan her teasing. 

Only shutting up when she kissed him so soundly, Ben almost forgot his own damn name. 

* * *

They traveled for a few days in their new, shared freighter with little plans on where to go, content just to drift through the empty, darkness of space and source supplies when they needed. Wanting only to be together. 

They were free.

Though full bodily recovery was still some time away, it did not stop them from finding themselves tangled together in the soft sheets of their shared cabin. This misstep repeated many times over in those first, few listless days of liberation.

Ben had taken it upon himself to kiss every bruise and cut upon Rey’s supple body a hundred-fold by now and she had done the same for him.

So it was inevitable they would themselves in this predicament.

They were only human.

The Force was a contented hum of happiness and excitement around them now. 

How could they resist what only came natural ? 

On the sixth day after the Battle of Exegol, the young lovers set down on a verdant, uninhabited planet on the far reaches of the Galaxy. Necessity and childish curiosity getting the better of Rey as she took their freighter down into a colorful, tree lined clearing below. 

Ben could not travel far on foot now without pain, his ankle still badly sprained from the violent battle.

But after one stupid look at Rey’s beautiful, enthusiastic face, Ben found himself willingly trailing after her as she raced far ahead through the meadow. His hefty weight rested uncomfortably on the makeshift crutch as he hobbled up the lush, sun-soaked hill Rey had ascended rashly in excitement. Her lovely form coming to a stop at the top as she considered something in the view ahead. 

Rey was almost breathless as she stared off into the distance, taking in the unspoiled view of the valley below her with a wistful sigh. In the cheery light of the risen suns, a solitary river snaked its way through the forest of green and gold, glinting like liquid silver through the winding valley. 

It was beautiful. 

Rey had never seen such much green in all her life, nothing before could ever compare.

Ben’s footsteps were heavy and faltering as thery thudded behind her. His posture slumped as he forced himself up the final few uphill steps, considerable weight held by the strength of her once trusty quarterstaff as he shuffled forward. Coming to rest at her back, he let the adapted staff fall by his feet as he rested his hand on her shoulder.

Rey turned to face him with a serene expression, utterly blissful in this singular moment with him. 

“Where to now?” Ben whispered, wrapping his arm around her and dipping down to kiss her mouth with that tempting smirk of his. Rey smiled up at him, her hazel eyes alighting with something sweet and dreamy

“Wherever the hell we want” she murmured back. 

“And then?” he asked with a softer, more tender smile. 

Rey coaxed his head closer. Kissing him long and deep as that still unspoken, but very much known, love between them shone from every affectionate move of her lips. 

She pulled back, eyes bright and full of hope for the future. 

The one she would have with him now, uninterrupted by duty. 

“Then.....” Rey answered quietly “home”. 

“Home?” Ben repeated, already imagining in his mind, the lush green meadow they would settle upon and play house for a while. 

Perhaps forever. 

Rey turned in his arms, coming to face the verdant valley that lay below them, sunburst and full of life. 

She wrapped her arms around his and squeezed down gently as she spoke. 

“Yes..... home.” 

Ben rested his cheek against her head, smiling as he pressed a fleeting kiss to the chestnut crown of her hair. 

“We’ll build it together” he murmured back, a warmth spreading in his chest as he held her close. “Somewhere green, maybe?” 

Rey nodded, arching her head up to meet his affectionate gaze with a beaming smile of her own. 

“Sounds perfect.”

Ben huffed back happily, kissing her forehead before she turned to admire the view for a third time. 

They stood there in contented silence a while before something started to nag upon Ben’s conscious. 

Chewing on his lip, his gut turned and swooped suddenly with nervousness as he was overcome by a new and overwhelming impulse. There was a renewed drive within him to speak upon the words that had plagued him for longer than he would care to admit, 

“Ben...?” Rey’s face was full of concern when their eyes met again, her brow furrowed with worry as she sensed his unease. 

“Are you okay? Is your ankle bothering you?” 

Reaching up to caress his cheek, her eyes were soft and sympathetic. 

“We can go sit down if this all too much?” 

Ben shook his head, a small smile replacing that momentary look of discomfort. 

“No...no.... I’m fine” he rumbled back, soothing her worry away as he cupped her face and ran his thumb down her rosy, freckled cheeks. 

“Then..why..” she began. 

“I love you” Ben interrupted, finally finding the daring courage to tell her. 

“I love you.....I really, really do...” 

Rey look awestruck for a moment, an unexpected laugh escaping her mouth as she stared up at him in wonder. 

Ben Solo continued to surprise her even now. 

“Well Maker, don’t look so glum about it” she teased back, a breath-taking smile spreading across her face as she beamed up at him. 

“I’m not” Ben chuckled back, pulling her closer to his chest. 

“You’re just an intimidating person sometimes”. 

“Me!” Rey snorted back “ _I’m the intimidating one_......?” 

She wrapped her arms behind his neck and pulled his handsome face toward her. That same delighted and brilliantly amorous smile, shining up at him. 

“You are!” he grumbled back, gently rubbing his nose against her as she giggled softly. 

“Scavenger, I am truly terrified of you!” 

Rey laughed harder, softly kissing him between snorts of amusement. 

“Ben...” she whispered warmly, resting her forehead against his. Feeling in this short moment as if anything was possible for them now. 

“Yes.....” he replied barely above a whisper, his big hands running up and down her back in slow, affectionate strokes. 

“I love you too” Rey mumbled back almost shyly, looking up at him earnestly with those expressive hazel eyes of hers. 

Ben’s lips split into a large, goofy grin, his dimples deepening in his cheeks. He kissed her soundly, grunting happily as she melted into him with little prompt. 

“I know” he whispered back. 

“But ….I love you more”. 

* * *

There had been many times over the following year they spent on that lustrous, isolated planet, that Ben had reflected deeply upon the plain, quiet existence he’d been given. Basking in the happiness he’d been gifted quite undeservedly it seemed to him, after all the reprehensible things he’d done in his life. 

Yet despite the lingering shame and guilt, he felt over these heinous acts, he could not find it in himself to wish for punishment. To pretend to himself, he would give up his happiness like Luke before him, for the long, lonely life of exile alone. 

Not now, not ever. 

How could he consider it when he got to wake up every morning in this simple, humble life, to the beautiful, loving gaze of Rey as she awoke beside him. A brilliant smile to greet each new day, etched on that lovely face. 

_Rey._

His stubborn, uncompromising but eternally kind and full of life girl. 

It was hard to have regrets when his choices had led him here, to this shining euphoria. 

There were time he often pondered the trajectory of their story if Rey hadn’t lain her weapons down on Kef Bir, if she hadn’t begged his help so earnestly. 

It was possibly they would have torn each other apart, little by little, until nothing but bitterness and a shadow of this love remained. 

_But Ben was not so sure._

He chose to believe they would have always found a way back to one another, that they had always been fated no matter what the Galaxy had tossed in their way. 

_Two that are one_ , as the ancient prophesy had decreed. 

Two sides of the same spinning coin as they moved through the infinite Universe. 

A force dyad. 

It gave him comfort somehow. 

To know she had always been and would always be, his.

Rey could feel it too when he looked at her sometimes, this sense of destiny. 

Out here in the wilds, immersed in the modest existence they had carved out, it was easier to pretend. 

To forget the pain and the sacrifice it taken for them to find this tranquility out here on their own. But it was still there for a time, leeching off their joy like an insidious parasite. 

Work remained to be done before they could live without regret. She could see that every time a fleeting shadow passed through Ben’s gaze, knowing in her heart, there was more to be done. 

There were many demons Rey had to face alone, but there many more she helped Ben face with her unwavering faith. Darkness and self-hatred defeated by this loving understanding and unerring belief in his forgiveness. 

Many tears had to be shared and nightmares to be soothed in this process of recovery and renewal. 

And in time the wounds inside them, seen and unseen, began to heal over. Scar tissue tender and ugly but holding strong. 

They lived on through their marred skin and soul, like the proud marks of victory and survival. 

_Balanced_. 

The Force was like a single entity for Ben and Rey as it lived in them now, a harmonious grey of compassion and truth that sought the light and the dark in equal measure. 

And for an entire year, the young lover lived on that small oasis of calm, learning and relearning just _how to_ _be_ _._

Contented and wanting for nothing. 

But. 

As time drew on, a small melancholy grew within Rey. A sadness she tried and failed to hide from Ben, conscious it would hurt him to know the gloom that grew in her heart. 

And yet, it persisted despite her best efforts to ignore this thrum of loss and loneliness. 

She missed her friends terribly now. 

She missed Leia too. 

But Rey loved Ben more than this insistent ache, her heart resolved to willing make this arduous sacrifice over and over again in order to keep him safe. 

Yet, her mate would not let her complete this martyrdom solely on his account, for Ben could deny her nothing. 

“You want to go back, don’t you?” he asked her one evening as they sat watching the setting twin suns, paint a canvas of gold and crimson across the dimming sky. Deep shadows stretching over the ever-green valley that sustained them. 

Rey sighed audibly as her chest tightened. 

She nodded slowly as her eyes met Ben’s gentle gaze with a doleful expression. 

“Yes....yes I do”. 

Ben did not speak for a long moment, the look on his face inscrutable as he collected his thoughts and came to terms with her confession. Knowing in his heart what he must do already. 

“Okay” he said evenly as the silence had stretched on between them, a small smile of quiet acceptance gracing his mouth. 

“Then we’ll go back”. 

Rey’s eyes brightened in surprise and budding relief, her body surging forward to capture him in a sudden crushing embrace. Hot kisses covering Ben’s face as she knocked him down onto his back, thanking him over and over again as she peppered him with her mouth. 

A soft sob escaped Rey as their lips met among the wildflowers on that verdant hill, Ben’s arms wrapping around her waist as they lost themselves to the beauty of this moment. 

A breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding, left Rey in a rush of air and diminishing tension. Her limbs loose and free as she drowned in Ben’s embrace. All the pressing sorrow of before a distant memory. 

It was time to go home. 

* * *

And yet, despite their best laid plans and desperation for the familiar, it was another seven months before they left that lush and life-giving planet. Complications arising on both sides that stalled the long for reunion. 

Eventually the time and place were set, a neutral ground agreed by all parties far from the vigilant eye of the law, precautions having to be made to prevent trouble at Ben Solo’s sudden reappearance. 

The whole Galaxy thought he was dead for one!

So it was settled.

They would go to Naboo. 

Varykino to be exact as per their coded instructions. 

Rey had always loved the lakes there and Ben, well he felt it apt given his ancestor's love story there. 

Varykino. 

It was perfect. 

And so, the plan was arranged in secret, Leia calling in every favour she still had with the Nabooian royal family in order to secure them safe passage.

The matter settled in a way only Leia Organa could achieve.

Utterly seamless.

* * *

Almost twenty months after the Battle of Exegol, Ben and Rey arrived upon the glistening shores of his grandmother’s villa with little fanfare. The small armed, royal escort that accompanied them, discrete and innocuous as they brought the small freighter in to land. The starfighters quickly left as Leia’s sleek transporter touched down less than a hundred feet away. 

The distance seeming almost insurmountable after all this time.

Rey looked at Ben carefully, observing the obvious strain and nervous energy in his handsome face with little comment. 

“It’s going to be okay, you know that right?” she murmured cheerfully, running her thumb over his clenched knuckles in soothing motion. 

“You have nothing to worry about” 

Ben nodded meekly in reply, staring out the cockpit window with wide, uncertain eyes. He gulped heavily as he spotted his mother and her small entourage quickly approaching the Raptor, Leia’s petite form smaller and grayer than he remembered. 

“I know” he mumbled, turning his hand in hers and catching her finger softly before kissing her palm.

It was Rey that left the freighter first, unable to stop the joyous tears that sprung from her eyes as she wrapped her arms tightly around Leia. The old woman rushing toward her as her face split in a beaming smile.

“Welcome back Rey” she whispered warmly, holding the young woman close to her chest. 

“It is wonderful to see you again”. 

“Rey...” Finn’s voice was like a sweet song behind her as he shyly stepped forward, his familiar face filled with emotion as he smiled at her with such affection. 

“Gods it’s good to see you”. 

Rey beamed as she let go of Leia and bolted to her friend with open arms. 

“Hello Mr. Big Deal, it’s good to see you too”. 

Finn hugged her closer, huffing happily as he buried his face into her shoulder. 

“I missed you” he admits quietly. 

“I missed you too” Rey replied sweetly. 

The friend’s parted, a shared and endearing grin filling their faces as Rey moved to greet the rest of the party. She shrieked with glee before swooping down to embrace Rose eagerly, spotting her friend's short, dark head amid the crowd.

Rose squeezed her hard as she laughed in joy. Their happy reunion though, was rudely interrupted as Poe jokingly went for a sloppy, wet kiss as he joined the fold. 

“Get off you lech” she giggled as he tried to smooch her again with a cheeky grin, snorting as he pulled her into a friendly hug. 

"You spoil all the fun" he snorted again.

" _You_....are a very difficult man Poe Dameron" she countered amiably, shoving him away with a smirk.

All around her, people smiled and muttered their delight at her return. Their faces bright and welcoming. 

Rey thanked them all gleefully, touched so many had made the journey here to welcome her back. 

However, this jovial mood deflated somewhat as Ben stepped out of the freighter with slow, uneasy steps. His head hanging low as he avoided the inevitable stares and side remarks. 

He stood by the end of the access ramp, protectively holding the small bundle wrapped around him closer to his chest as he chanced one or two uncomfortable glances to his mother. 

Leia’s face paled as she spied the unexpected gift resting on his broad chest, her wide, disbelieving eyes turning to Rey for confirmation as the young woman strode back to Ben with a smile. 

Grasping the old general’s hand in hers, she gently pulled Leia’s shocked figure forward and toward her son. The older woman ambling after her in numb acceptance. 

Reaching Ben, Rey caressed his dark, uncomfortable grimace until it softened to an almost smile, her gaze dropping to the small tuft of chestnut hair that peeped out through the sling on his torso. She ran her fingers over it softly before turning back to Leia with proud smile. 

Shifting the tight material on his chest, Ben gently moved the dark cotton away from his daughter’s face before finally meeting his mother’s gaze with a warmth she had not seen in years. 

Leia’s mouth flapped open uselessly as she looked between his son’s happy expression and the infant girl swaddled to her father's chest. Tiny fingers clutching at his sweatshirt as she peacefully slept. 

“Leia....” Ben began, before pausing with a slight chuckle as he gestured at the baby “....Mom.....this is Hanna....your granddaughter". 

Leia’s eyes filled with tears suddenly as the emotion of the moment hit her hard. 

“Hanna?” she chocked back in disbelief and growing joy. 

“Hanna” Ben confirmed, turning his body so his mother could see her better. 

“She looks just like you” Leia sobbed happily, reaching out to run her fingers lightly down the child's lovely cheek. She wanted so badly now to pull Ben to her chest and embrace this long lost son of hers so tightly, the years apart would cease to matter. 

But she was cautious. 

Painfully conscious he may need time to adjust to her presence once more. 

But it was Ben that bridged this gap between them first, opening out his arm to offer her comfort. 

Leia sobbed harder as he pulled into his side, an almost laugh of disbelief and joy escaping her mouth as rested her head against his shoulder and they both regarded Hanna with obvious pride. 

“I think she looks like Rey” he muttered softly, looking at his mother with such admiration and fondness it seemed no time had passed at all. 

“She’s beautiful, no matter who she looks like” Rey interjected, reaching down to hold Ben’s hand in hers as she squeezed his palm lightly. 

Behind them, the curious onlookers seemed to brighten and step forward cautiously. Enraptured by the small, adorable baby girl in their midst.

Finn’s immediate look of distrust faded as found himself smiling softly at the tiny child and the pure happiness he saw in Rey and Leia’s faces. His mind turned back to the letter Rey had once written him when she'd chosen not to return.

At the time he had not understood Rey’s reasons, the decision seeming abrupt and selfish.

But now, perhaps, he understood them better. 

“So.... this is what’s been keeping you so busy” he teased amiably, flashing Ben an unanticipated smile as he offered a tentative suggestion of truce and friendship. Ben took the invitation eagerly, a look of good humor replacing his once constant scowl of brooding petulance. 

“Yes it is....quite unexpectedly if we’re being honest” he replied with slight amusement, kissing his daughter’s head with a smile. 

“All the best things are my love” his mother added with a misty look in her eyes. 

“I know” he replied, gathering the dual meaning in her words. Leia slowly pulled away, her smile broadening as she looked at Rey with clear gratitude and love. 

“Come now....let us all go to the Villa. We have much to discuss” she said more loudly, speaking to the crowd as much to the small family of three. 

“And much to be thankful for” she added quietly as gazed back at Rey with a tender. 

Without another word, the General marched onward, ushering her gaping posse forward and leaving Rey and Ben alone in the grassy meadow for a moment. 

“I think that went well” Rey said cheerfully, wrapping Ben’s long arm around her shoulder as she beamed up at him. 

“I do too” Ben rumbled back, catching her eyes with a grin of his own. 

“But then again.....it’s hard to shoot or even hate a man, when there's a baby strapped to his chest” Ben joked mordantly. 

Rey slapped at his shoulder hard, chuckling despite herself. 

“You are _so_ lucky you’re the father of my child and I love you” she teased back as she strode off toward the villa. 

“I know” Ben chuckled, eye’s bright and full of ardent affection as he caught her hand and coaxed her back toward him. He pressed a kiss to her upturned lips as she accepted the gesture willingly.

“Lucky doesn't even begin to express it.”

Rey huffed gently, kissing him again before they slowly made their way up toward the villa.

Knowing now, she had everything she would ever need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who guessed there would be a mini-Solo at the end, because I didn't!  
> Hanna was a last minute addition lol :D
> 
> Please send me your feedback, I love it and it helps my writing.
> 
> Thank you for reading, I love you all.
> 
> -RedCatRen.


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